A Very Merry Christmas To YOU!

I am embarrassed. The SECOND year in a ROW I have not sent a Christmas card. It has been a crazy year... I WANT to do a family Christmas picture, but to be honest, I see my husband for about 15 minutes a day, and I have about 10 minutes to clear up things I need to clear up and then, it is over. I would love to do a picture, and write all of the things we have done.

I don't have the picture.

But I can write. THAT I can do. . .

THE YEAR IN SUMMARY 

WYNIA FAMILY 2011

The Wynia family had a crazy year. No really, we did. It started off with being newly laid off, and having to make big, gut wrenching decisions about our lives, and our future. Good times, good times. That lasted until April, with Peter traveling to locations, crunching numbers, praying, and trying to figure out exactly WHERE we were going to start on our new Papa Murphy's business venture. (At least we had THAT figured out) We contemplated no less than 5 or 6 places, and finally came down to the Inland Empire in Southern California. For those of you who don't know, that is the little strip of land that travels south from Riverside straight to San Diego on the I-15, and is directly behind those beautiful mountains that are just before the ocean. There is no DIRECT route to the ocean, but we find ourselves making our way there frequently anyway. 

We spent the spring months signing our life away, doing training and getting ready for the big plunge. Peter and I even went to a week long training at the Papa Murphy's headquarters to get ready for this big adventure. 

Kids at Nanna and Papa's house at the Lake during our trip to the corporate office. 

We moved in July. We had the help of a moving co., but of course, I packed every living last thing we owned (besides Peter's office) and I will forever be grateful for the sweet people who showed mercy on me and helped me pack up my house for the 11th time in 11 years. (I am including our first move in together and a few moves from apartments and in-laws while we were building houses, but still, a move is a move.)

Abigail at our house before we "closed" on it!

We are confident we will not have to move again for a VERY long time. We found a great house in Murrieta, just about 3 miles (6 minutes exactly) from our new store, which I am VERY grateful for, because Peter is there about 14 hours a day, and sometimes even more than that.  We love our house, neighbors, schools and ward and feel amazingly blessed to have been given so much after a few years of very difficult struggles. I have truly learned that Heavenly Father has COMPLETE control over our lives, and many of the things that happen to us are purely for our benefit. Even the trials. I am not sure I could say I was grateful for those trials at the TIME, but I am most certainly grateful for them now. They taught be so many things about our relationship with Heavenly Father, how he teaches us, all of us. I am grateful to be through the trials, but still the same, grateful that Heavenly Father thought I was strong enough to endure them. 

Peter and I doing who knows what...

Our Store Front. Yes, REALLY! 

Peter working at what is lovingly known as the "sheeter"

We opened our new store on November 3rd, after a few crazy days of delays and difficulty with the county fire department. All is forgiven now that we are open, and things are going well! We have been met with incredible excitement and we have no fewer than 5 pizza stores in our parking lot. However, we feel like we have a great location, and have received great feedback on our product which is brand new to the area. That is right. There has never been a Papa Murphy's pizza here! (Hard to believe for some of you, I am sure.) 

Peter "sheeting" dough. Yes, he is not required to wear gloves doing this, and yes, his hands are clean...

Peter is still working LONG hours, and I find myself "working" at the store as well. However, my main title is "marketing freakshow" and of course, I love it. I manage our store's facebook page, as well as School Fundraisers, and any other marketing activities that we might need. Peter runs day to day operations, however, I find myself doing a little bit of that as well. I am sure that is a common occurrence when you own your own business. I even go to work and run the cash register and answer the phones when I am needed, and I work WAY more than I thought I would, but I kind like that too because I get a glimpse into what Peter does all day long and I get to educate our customers about what Papa Murphy's is, and why they are going to love it. (You can like our Facebook page to see what I do at facebook.com/papamurphysmurrieta)

Our Grand Opening Ribbon Cutting by the Murrieta Chamber of Commerce. 

Introducing, Mini Murph

Our kids. Oh yeah, we still have them. Abigail is in 5th grade. She is doing VERY well with her grades (after a rough transition to a very intense school) and is finally starting to enjoy the So. Cal. life. She LIVES for boogie boarding, and is definitely going to be a beach babe. We just got a new puppy for her for Christmas. (I know, I can't believe it either) But the family dog was long over due, and I just decided I needed to take the plunge NOW.

I know she is STANDING on her boogie board, but still..

Jaxon being Jaxon.

Jaxon is Jaxon. Really, what can I say about that kid. He is funny, and I wish I could record everything he says. He is getting used to his new school, and I am still working on deciding if we are going to keep him there. It is challenging to come from a school that had an amazing autism program to one that.... doesn't. But we are working on it. 

Waders.

Wade is in his second year of preschool and is going every day. (I had to do SOMETHING to keep him busy! He turns 5 in a few months, and will go to Kindergarten next year) I am sure he will do great, and we are working on reading right now. He is a complete video(game) head, and I hope Peter will teach him programming in a few years so we can capitalize on that obsession....

Kaylie is a wild, stubborn, hard headed two year old. When she is good, she is VERY VERY good, and when she is bad, she is HORRID! I had a babysitter call me in tears the other night because Kaylie was throwing a big tantrum. Really, the first of all my kids who has done it with any real intense vigor. She really knows how to throw it down though. HOWEVER, on the other side, she can be just super sweet and loving. She will go far in life, as long as we can learn to channel all that energy and intensity!

Overall, it has been an amazing year. We are incredibly grateful for this opportunity and are finding blessings around every corner. We know without a shade of doubt this is where were are supposed to be, and that is a wonderful feeling after years of uncertainty. We know the blessings of the Lord are upon us, and any who choose to put their faith in Him.  We wish you a wonderful 2012, and hope we will be able to put together a family photo NEXT YEAR! Until then, enjoy this one...

Enjoying the beachy life.

Thanksgiving and more.

We had a quiet Thanksgiving this year. Although having your own business is very rewarding, and hopefully will create a fantastic autonomy for our family some day, right now, it is completely overwhelming and draining, not to mention a complete time suck. My husband has taken ONE day off in three weeks, and guess what, it was on Thanksgiving!

I wanted to make sure my kids were able to enjoy "the thanksgiving experience" eventhough we had no house guests, and didn't travel anywhere.

They seemed to enjoy the pomp and ceremony of it all, and didn't seem to mind that they were on their own all day. However, I missed the extra family, and the entertainment that friends or cousins bring. What can I say, I am a people person, and I got my degree in throwing a party, so, it was a smidge to quiet for me.

I love this happy face.

The bird was a masterpiece, and I LOVED pretending there were going to be tons of happy eaters. But yet, there were just 6.

This is what my kitchen looked like after the dinner was made. I AM sure it was worth it in eating the dinner. I am NOT sure it was worth it in the clean up. That is admittedly the best part of having Thanksgiving guests, they usually clean up the aftermath.

I have posted on this blog the complete gratitude that I have felt for the blessings we have been given. We have been given so many.

A beautiful house to live in,

a great business, that we love and are so excited about,

our beautiful kids, who, are healthy and happy,

two sets grandparents who are happy and healthy as well,

a wonderful new state to live in,

a wonderful new ward,

a wonderful husband who has put in about 8 and 1/2 weeks of work into three weeks (yes, I am talking about 16 hour days)

Our blessings are simple, but astounding, and although I don't wish the trials we went through on anyone, I am grateful for them for teaching us to appreciate the simple blessings, of employment, a home to call our own, direction in our future, and true happiness in all of it.

We are blessed.

Boxing Out

The other night, I had a dream. It was about boxes... I was frantically searching around for boxes before a big move.

Story of my life right?

I was frantic, and wasn't sure I was going to be able to find enough boxes. I was searching high and low and I am pretty sure I broke into a sweat. . . in my sleep.

I woke up and thought, woah. THAT was a crazy dream.

I am purging boxes out of my house like nobody's business right now. I am tossing them out on the curb, and I hope to NEVER see them again.

I have a little confession, with living in rentals for the last three years, one knows they are going to be moving. Sometime, in the near future.

I kept boxes.

I never unpacked boxes.

I have things in my bedroom currently that I haven't seen for at least two years!

I folded up boxes and lined the walls of my garage with them.

I hid them in my food pantry,

my closets

and my basement.

I hoarded boxes.

And now. . .

I AM GETTING RID OF THEM!!!!!

Almost done.

Free Bird

Well, hello blog.

I have missed you.

Well, missed is the wrong word.

I have neglected you?

Yeah, that sounds more like it.

Blogging, for a long time, was my only method of processing a difficult time in my life.

Guess what.

Things aren't difficult right now.

As a matter of fact, they are amazing.

And I feel like a free bird.

I knew that eventually we would rise up.

But, three years was going on a long time.

It's not like all of our challenges are over.

We still have LOTS of challenges ahead.

But they seem to be more of a "fun" kind of challenge.

Possible?

Yes.

I feel like I have been a bird, stuffed in a cage, with clipped wings.

My captor grew lazy, and forgot to keep clipping my wings.

And accidentally left the door open for too long one day.

I escaped.

I left my prison.

And, it is absolutely the most wonderful feeling in the world.

I don't ever want to forget it.

I don't ever want to forget what we went through.

Sometimes, I can't believe we made it.

Most of the time, actually.

But we did.

And we are being rewarded beyond our wildest dreams.

It makes me think about this life's end.

Where we will probably stand, completely worn, exhausted, defeated and discouraged.

We will be uncertain if the sacrifice we made was enough. We will be tattered, and torn.

Then, we will be "taken in" and "lifted up" and we will feel His redeeming love, and we will forget the hardship we have been through, because now we have tasted of the good.

And it will be like nothing else we have ever experienced.

And it will be indescribable.

And it will be better than anything that we could have ever imagined.

And we will be home.



I have had a glimmer of what it will be like.

I cried the ugly cry.

Yesterday was the last day of school. The day BEFORE yesterday, I was trying to find someone who could watch my kids while I went to the dentist. One friend said, "I have to go to Kindergarten Graduation", and then I remembered,

I DO TOO!


I immediately checked the time of the "graduation" and it was at exactly the same time as my dental appointment. That was NOT going to work. So, I cancelled the appointment and prepared myself to fight with two non-stationary kids during a kindergarten graduation the next day.



The next day came and my husband was home sick! Perfect! Now I can go hands free to the graduation! (I am sure he was thrilled). Anywho, I entered the auditorium and sat down. After a few minutes of waiting I saw Jaxon's teacher enter the room. The amount of love I have for that woman is difficult to measure. She has unflinchingly weathered through all of Jaxon's issues this year with total love, support and compassion. I felt humbled, once again, to be in such a fortunate position to have her as part of our lives. All of you know that sometimes the situations that our kids fall in to are not always ideal, and when Jaxon first entered school here in AZ, I was definitely NOT SURE that it was going to be a good situation. After Jaxon was situated in the "right place" he started to flourish and has grown so much.



I know that the reason for his fantastic growth and development is in large part to the wonderful support he receives from his therapists and teachers who love him and give every ounce of their patience and support to him.


I was completely caught off guard because when I saw her, I started to cry in realizing that she was not going to be a part of his daily life anymore. How was I going to live? Then they started playing, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" (the ukulele version) and I started to cry, and it wouldn't stop. I cried, and cried and cried.


Not because I was sad, but because I am so grateful to educators and therapists for what they do for Jaxon every day. I could not do it alone, and although I work with him lots at home, it is because they work with him even more at school and it is because all of us together work as a team to make sure he succeeds in this life.


At times, it is just so "part of my life" that I don't even think about it. It is just what I do, it is just what they do, it is just what "we" do. But yesterday, I realized that it isn't. And I am grateful beyond words for the time and effort they put into my son.


What is frustrating is that I don't know how to thank them. I don't know how to tell them how much they mean to me. I tried to tell them, and with all my tears yesterday, I am sure they know, but still. I wish there was some way to tell them the effect that they had on my son in the most critical years of his development. They will always hold a special place in my heart. I never want to let go.

Ms. Deffenbaugh, total angel.

Mrs. Boettcher, Inspired and perfect Special Ed teacher.

Jaxon holding his diploma. (Look for the tallest kid, of course)

And Jaxon's first love. I couldn't help it. Look for small, Latina, and purple dress. I think his depiction of her was pretty much spot on.

I took video on my cell phone of it all, but I can't seem to get it off my phone, and right now, it is killing me.

Hope Floats

*Pictures taken by MOI. Yesterday.

I started to HATE the phrase, "Everything happens for a reason". Because when you venture out on your own, and then, lose everything, it seems like a slap in the face.

I mean, you are SUPPOSED to lose everything "for a reason"? Have your hopes and dreams dashed for a "reason" and then, like, be happy about it?
And then, be stuck away from family, friends and everyone else and dealing with the biggest struggle in your life?

Cause, that doesn't seem quite right. Especially for people who tried hard, gave much, and did their best to choose the right. It is not like we were perfect. But we tried.
But, then again, there is Job.

But, sometimes, when things are going the OTHER direction, the phrase, "Everything happens for a reason" is a lot more hopeful. Because maybe there was a reason my husband had a break in his master's program this month.

Maybe there is a reason he met someone's husband who is out of work.

Or maybe even a reason we didn't get that job promotion we wanted. I mean, could there be a good reason for that?

Here is to HOPE.

I am in LOVE.

I am in love. I think the season is getting to me because I have moments where I am just overwhelmed with L.O.V.E. (I am sure sleep deprivation is causing quite a bit of emotion too)



The past 9 months, I have been gestating. Not just a baby, but a new life, extreme challenges, heartbreak, frustration, sadness, wonderful blessings, calm and peace only the spirit can bring, and new love for my husband of 9 years.



I have shed more tears than I could have possibly imagined. I have asked why. I have cursed the heavens. I have resigned myself to God's will, I have overcome my frustrations, I have truly let God and let go.



You see, back then... we were on our way to a new life. But, apparently it wasn't the new life we THOUGHT we were getting. It was the new life Heavenly Father wanted us to have. He knew that it would be life altering. He knew that we would become stronger because of it. He knew that I would eventually realize that if I hadn't gotten pregnant when I did, I would have NEVER had a fourth child. He knew that these challenges would forever change my husband from the person I knew he was into an even better, more focused, more spiritual person than he was before.



We lost a lot in the process. A lot of $$$$$, a lot of hair, a lot of friends (from moving away), a lot of sanity, a lot of peace and even MORE SLEEP.



We gained grey hairs (I finally got one), new help for Jaxon, a new daughter and a better life. (We haven't yet gained back the sleep)



But here we are at the end. (kind of) Looking back, and BEGINNING to realize why it all went down. All I can feel is love. LOVE. L.O.V.E. In a whole new way. Don't get me wrong. It was rough. Rougher than I thought my life would EVER be. But I am grateful because now I see what I have. Now I see some light. Now I see that maybe Heavenly Father knows the plan a little better than I do, and now, I have more faith to let him be in total control. (Because I never even REMOTELY had control of this DOOZEY) I just had moments... Moments of inspiration. Moments of peace. Moments when I knew exactly what I needed to do to help my husband endure and find peace even in the most difficult of times. It is a horrible experience to watch someone you love suffer and struggle when there is nothing you can do except try to support them through it all.



We grew. We grow. We are still growing. We have a L.O.N.G. way to go to get back to where we were (stability wise).... But we are on our way.



Peter starts work on Tuesday.

Miracle Part 1

I have a lot to share... but don't know where to start. Let's just say that only having to get up for ONE feeding at night (last night, 3:00 a.m.) has made me feel like a WHOLE NEW WOMAN!

I mean, yesterday, if you would have talked to me... asked me a question such as, "How is your day?" I would have burst into tears and blubbered something about sleep deprivation and how insane I am that I had another baby and blah blah blah. It was tragic.

TODAY, if you would ask me how my day is I would say, "FABULOUS, WONDERFUL, AMAZING, I AM SO BLESSED!" Because, I am. I am sure there will be a few more sleepless nights, but right now, WOW. I feel great. So great, I think I might clean the kitchen floor. (Don't worry, no mops, just vacuums for now) There are lots of other miracles going on right now. Ones that I can't WAIT to share, but for now, I will share how this awesome little babe made her entry into the world. Lots of you have asked, and so, if you are interested... here is how it all went down. If you aren't interested, STOP READING RIGHT NOW!

As you know, (well, I guess you would only know if you read ALL of my blog posts) I scheduled an induction because this little girl was NOT going to come out willingly. I was officially due on Feb 3rd. (Of course I thought I was going to have her January 20something) I had originally scheduled one for the week prior, but chickened out because.....

As a VBAC patient, there is not a lot a Dr. can do for me to get me into Labor. As a matter of fact, MOST Dr.s will do NOTHING because of the risk involved. (i.e. my uterus splitting open from the previous incision from my c-section--hey, I said stop reading if you can't hack it!) So, I decided to wait one more week. On Saturday night I had contractions for 12 hours straight, but they never went below 10 mins apart (unless I was out walking.. believe me I TRIED). Anyway, on Monday I went to the Dr. and scheduled the soonest induction I could have, and I use the words "induction" loosely, because there isn't a lot they can do for a VBAC. My Dr.s said they would break my water and MAYBE give me a LITTLE pitocin.

We checked into the hospital at 7:30 a.m. on Wednesday Feb 4th for my scheduled induction and of course didn't see a Dr. until around 10:00. I think she broke my water about 10:30 a.m. and NOTHING HAPPENED. They wouldn't let me walk either because of my "status" (VBAC). So, I laid there and watched the Bonnie Hunt show and a bunch of other TV I never get to see because I am either watching Super Why or Teletubbies...

About 12:30 she came to "check me" and there had been little to no activity (3 cm), so they set me up on a pit drip. Now, me compared to a regular pit drip is increase by 1 every 30 mins. Normally, they would increase by 2 every 30 mins up to 30 ccs. For me, they would go no higher than 6. No worries. By the time I was up to a 4 on the pit drip, (about 3:00 p.m.) I asked for that BLESSED EPIDURAL.

In comes the all knowing anesthesiologist. Whom asked, "is there anything I should know before I get started?" I said, "YES! The last Dr. said to start a few spots higher on my back because my contacts are too tight" [it took him 45 mins to get me my epidural with Wade and I almost killed the poor man]. Of course this Dr. being SO MUCH BETTER than the other Dr. decided to ignore my advice and to do TWO attempts as well. GEE THANKS. I LOVE THAT SHARP SHOOTING PAIN IN MY BACK. CAN YOU DO IT AGAIN? Anyway, x2 was successful and after that, it was smooth sailing. I seem to recall saying things like, "Am I even HAVING contractions?" I guess the only bad thing would be that my blood pressure bottomed out... and they spent some time working on that. It felt like I was just uber tired and a little loopy. Maybe like a drug induced high? I wouldn't know.

She was delivered at about 5:15 p.m. We pushed a little with my nurse (whom I totally loved, shared a birthday with as well as a complete addiction to chapstick) and then the Dr. came and we finished things up! You might be thinking, "huh, I thought that was almost a 10 lb. baby!" Well, she was, but as my previous OB said, "I think you could give birth to a Mac Truck" (I take it as a compliment) I am not a little person so, getting her out wasn't so hard. As a matter of fact, she had a perfectly round head..... No cones... because, well, I have a gigantic pelvis... so, there you have it. :)

More on the other miracles if I get another good nights sleep.

AUTISM UPDATE

Ok, I know most of you don't read my blog because I have a son with Autism. HOWEVER, sometimes I feel the need to share for people who might 'come across' my blog, or have a friend with a son recently diagnosed. For someone with a child who is recently diagnosed, Autism can be an extremely scary unknown world. If you know someone, maybe this will help you, understand them. All opinions are based on my personal experience and knowledge about MY SON. Autism is a WIDE spectrum of behaviors and symptoms. Very few are related to each other. There will never be a case where I say to another mother, THAT IS EXACTLY LIKE MY SON! It just won't happen. Technically speaking, my son has (currently) been diagnosed with PDD-NOS. It is considered on the "spectrum" and most of his issues are with developmental delays both educational and social.

Luckily, Jaxon has GREAT DESIRES to be social. He doesn't have classic "stimming" issues (hand flapping, high pitched noises) but can occasionally get too aggressive in playing. Not that he wants to be mean, just that he gets "overly excited" and can't control his desire to jump on someone (it is a sensory issue). He can talk, tell you what he wants, but many children with Autism have problems answering W questions concerning, WHAT, WHERE, WHY, WHEN. They just don't have the ability to handle it cognitively. He will answer the question, but usually not accurately, or he will say, "I don't know". Overall, he is a fun kid who keeps us laughing and we enjoy his personality... If you have read any of my Jaxonisms, you will know why.

Jaxon was diagnosed around the age of 3 when I tried to put him into pre-school and he couldn't handle the social aspects of it. He played too aggressively with some kids (usually other boys who wanted to play rough, but Jaxon didn't get boundaries), didn't want to transition to different activities (follow the crowd) and would "melt down" when he was asked to conform. Not to say he never had issues before then. He had a hard time sharing, would get too aggressive with other kids, and has absolutely NO fear of strangers as well as a very high pain threshold. But, we would chalk it up to being two. I mean, how can you tell the difference between 2 and Autism. It is tough when you have a mild child like Jaxon.

Of course, there is lots of controversy around Autism and how/if it is treatable. I think Jaxon has a very specific case. He had chronic ear infections from the time he was 5 months old to 2 years old when we finally decided to put tubes in his ears. He was on antibiotics pretty much that whole time all the while getting his immunizations along the way. I am sure any of you who have put your child on an antibiotic EVEN ONCE know what it does to their bowels system.. usually causing diarrhea. I am sure it isn't a stretch for anyone to realize that back to back antibiotics for 2 years would hurt anyones' digestion, not to mention a small child. In regards to the immunizations. I don't think it was those that CAUSED his Autism, but, the fact that he continued to receive them when he wasn't well didn't help. Your child should be well, and have not had any sicknesses for a week or so. That was never so in Jaxon's case.

Our philosophy with Jaxon has always been, "we will give it a try". I had a friend in Spokane who started her son on a Gluten Free/Casein Free Diet and was doing a Vitamin Regimen to help cure some of her sons symptoms. They were using a specialist in TX. It seemed too drastic for us.. No wheat, No dairy. If you know ANYTHING about me it is that I love to cook and bake. Changing our lifestyle this way seemed out of the question. Not to mention the fact I wasn't going to take Jaxon to TX to see a specialist. But, once we moved to Arizona, there were many specialists here and many people who had seen great results from this method. With it being so close, I had a hard time telling myself it wasn't worth it. These types of Dr. s are called DAN Dr.s which stands for Defeat Autism Now.

I went in blindly at first. Not really knowing the science behind it, but thinking, why not try it? I wondered why wheat would be such an issue, but then I started to learn more about Celiacs Disease. Celiacs is becoming more and more common and is wide problem among children with Autism. Actually, allergies IN GENERAL are very common among children with Autism.

What I found it that Celiacs is not just an allergy, but, a problem with the way that the bowels react to Wheat. The villi in the intestine cannot process the wheat, so they lay flat, prohibiting absorption of anything into your system. So, celiacs is a problem not because of an allergic reaction, but, people can actually die of malnutrition because their bodies are not absorbing critical nutrients. Now, back to Jaxon. Two years of antibiotics I think had caused his digestive system to shut down. Not only prohibiting essential nutrients for brain function, but at the same time we were injecting him with immunizations that his body could not process, causing a toxic environment. After hundreds of blood tests and lab work, that evidence came out and Jaxon was found to be lacking in several essential nutrients in his body that would allow his body to function properly not to mention the finding that he had very high levels of toxic materials in his body.

We have had him on the GF/CF diet for about 6 months now and have seen some great results. No, there is no magic bullet and I am not sure Autism can be "cured". Maybe in some very specific cases, but definitely not ALL. He responded almost instantaneously with taking Dairy out of his diet. He had increased eye contact and decreased melt-downs. He didn't even melt down very often, but, in situations where he would have normally melted down, he was having many more "typical" responses.

The best result we have seen from the is Jaxon's ability to work with those W questions. We went to the Temple a few weeks ago to see the lights. Jaxon asked about the pool of water outside and asked if that is where they do baptisms (that would be the first miracle.. how he would assume that is beyond me) I said, no, and told him that they do those INSIDE. The missionaries came to dinner a week later and asked if we had been to visit the lights. Jaxon told them, with perfect recall, that he had been to see the lights at the temples and thought the water was for baptisms, and that his mom told him they do the baptisms inside. It was astonishing, truly. Sometimes it is hard to tell if what you are doing is really helping, but, in this case, it most certainly is.

Our goal with the diet has always been to try it for 3 months. We have been on for 6, and have decided to take him off for the Holiday because it is just too hard to police with plates of cookies around. It will be an interesting test to see if there is any difference in his behavior, but one I am excited for! We will see how it goes, and may put him back on the GF/CF Diet after the Holidays. We are grateful for these kinds of "interventions" and we do others as well such as Speech Therapy, Occupational Therapy and ABA Therapy that help teach him more of the social aspects of being in society. Hopefully, with all of these things put together, Jaxon will be able to enjoy life like all of the rest of us. He will probably still have challenges throughout much of life, but we want to give him the best chance we can.

Christmas Shopping in a DAY!

I used to think those hard core Black Friday shoppers were completely BONKERS! I mean, 5 am? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I have a date with my BED at 5:00 a.m. and have REPEATEDLY stated that NO CHILD should get out of bed before 7:00 a.m. I am a firm believer in that.

I started perusing the ads on Thursday afternoon and realized there might be a few great deals out there to be had. That getting up early MIGHT NOT be such a bad idea. Tis the year to save some dough, you know? Better yet, since I have a night owl husband, I might as well take advantage of the fact that SOME of the sales start at midnight. There were only a few items that were on a GREAT discount, but I figured, why not just send him with a list and let him go at it with the other millions of crazy people in the world. (And we all heard how crazy they were, right?) My husband said there were at least 250 people at the doors at Toys R Us and he was able to get around to what we were looking for, but did not take any ADDITIONAL time in looking for those "mystery deals" as the madness was just too much. He arrived home at 1:30 (not bad beings that it is 20 minutes away) and showed me the goods. (I am sleeping light these days). Much was accomplished, but a few things were still missing.

I decided to get up when Wade got up (hopefully not before 7:00 a.m.) and just go see what I could see. After all, I am a big fan of "crowd mentality". Sure enough, the parking lot was packed and people were walking out with their bags and bags of loot. No crazy attacks at our local Walmart, and I DID find a few deals! Like THIS for $140 (enclosure included)!!! You better believe it! The workers SAID they were all gone, but there were a few left thrown in with the regularly priced ones. I BEGGED the worker to scan it so I could verify it was the right one, and, IT WAS! I started to attract some attention and a few other stalkers... I mean, shoppers, realized that there WERE a few more available. I got some help out, and headed out the door before anyone could jump me. Mission accomplished.

We might not have snow here in AZ, but the other complaint that the children have is their lack of that big blue thing in our yard...

We sold it before we left. Hopefully this will minimize the complaining around here. One out of two ain't bad, is it? BESIDES, we DID get some of the white stuff on Thanksgiving.

Do you see it? LOOK CLOSELY! It is hail. Isn't that close enough? You better believe I made them go outside and play in it.. It IS a form a snow after all. They were dreaming of a white Christmas and GOT ONE! :)

Here is to more answered WISHES this Holiday Season!

GRATITUDE

I have been waiting and waiting and waiting for the right time to do this post..... and it just seems the timing was never quite right. I am not sure it is now, but sometimes, you just need to get it out.


In June, we moved.



No wait, I have to back up a little more. .



Right around THIS time, we decided to have another baby. Yes, we were already planning on "doing our own thing" by moving to Arizona and buying a pizza business. But, I figured by the time we actually HAD the baby, we would have been business owners for 9 months, and we would be all comfy cozy in our new surroundings.


SO, by the time we BOUGHT the businesses, we were pregnant by, oh, a week or two... I guess when we set our minds to doing something, we get 'er done. No time to spare. Anyway, those last few weeks before the move, I was a few weeks pregnant and packing up the house on my own while Peter was already in Arizona getting into the businesses.

[INSERT MASS CHAOS]

I called Peter to tell him about our little arrival over the phone. He had been in Arizona for about a week... Just long enough for him to figure out that our newly purchased businesses had been cooked, and when I say cooked, I am not just talkin' about the pizzas... I am talkin' about THE BOOKS... THE BOOKS HAD BEEN COOKED.


To save his wife a wee bit o' stress Peter decided to wait until I was here to tell me about the situation. I was shocked. (Ok, that is a BIT of an understatement) I am sure you could understand. Even though we had the best laid plans... the A bomb had seemed to go off in our faces. The last 5 months have been spent cleaning up the nuclear aftermath, and to be honest, I am glad we are still alive... albeit a little burned, but alive.

[INSERT ATTORNEYS]

HOWEVER, we had LOTS of WONDERFUL things happen since we have moved here. We were able to start Jaxon on some treatment that was not available to us in WA.

He was accepted by the State of Arizona for Disability Services.


We were able to sell ONE of THREE houses that we own in WA and have renters for the other two.

We feel Abby is in better schooling too! She is light years from where she was in Spokane (sorry Spokane peeps)


We have had MANY, MANY, MANY Blessings. . . too many to count.


Throughout it all, I have been reminded that I have been given so much and have been carefully watched over during this incredibly stressful time. Don't get me wrong. Even though I haven't posted about it here, I have had many days where I have chosen to just lay in bed and cry. I have asked, WHY WHY WHY? I have wondered about the reason for it all. I have wondered WHY we conceived so quickly... when all this stress would have been a little easier without all these hormones... This time has NOT been without lots of blessings, but at times, it has been ugly. I am sure you can understand with the the state our our current Economic Crisis how this could be a bad time for such an event.

The amazing thing is, I have had lots of support. I have alluded to some troublesome times, and I have felt supported by so many of you. Some people have even let me know that they prayed for me... and they didn't know why. Others have sent sweet notes just letting me know that they were thinking about me. In the end, I have clung to this little world of blogging for survival, for support and for something ELSE to think about. I know there are MANY who have posted about being blessed by the little blogging world, and today, here is mine. I have been blessed by you. By your strength, support, shared struggles, and love. Because of you, I have felt LESS ALONE and MORE STRENGTHENED!

So, regardless if my husband thinks I am "playing with my imaginary friends", I know that YOU, MY FRIENDS, are FAR from imaginary and for that I AM

GRATEFUL.

May all of you feel GRATITUDE this happy season.......


PS- We are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Law suit settled, Peter looking for work and is in the final stages of interviewing for a great job. We will be GRATEFUL if he gets it. Healthy baby on the way.

Go forth with Faith-[Inspirational Post]

You know, we have been tried as of late. It stinks, it is hard, it may only get harder. I don't like it. I don't enjoy it. But there are times... or moments... or even just flashes that someday, it will all be ok. I don't know when, how or what that someday will be .... but, it will be SOMEDAY. That was affirmed tonight when I had the opportunity to go to my mission reunion.

WAIT! Before you get any pre-conceived notions about how that was or offer up any jokes about how stupid they are... you need to know that it was none of those things. My Mission President was just called as a member of the First Quorum of the Seventy. So, it was a wonderful opportunity to get to hear about his call and family and the experience they have had since the mission.

For those of you who have not served a mission, you need to know that a Mission President has a VERY influential and powerful influence over you during the time that you serve as a missionary. He knows you... WELL. You meet with him on a regular basis.. have personal interviews..write weekly letters and not only that, he has a direct calling to provide you with direction and revelation while you are serving in that mission. There was more than one occasion where I would sit in front of my Mission President, and before I could say A WORD about my troubles/challenges/trials/successes he would recite them to me and even tell me how I was FEELING about them. It was powerful/scary/real and intense to have that kind of relationship. Needless to say, it's unlike any other time in your life.

It was a joy to see his family and how they have grown. He was MY AGE when he was called as a mission president (I am in my 30s) and had young children... 8, 6 , 4 , and two... His wife then had twins (surprise) while they were on their mission. When I was a missionary, I thought that was amazing. Now, as a mother of almost four... I think that must have been HORRIFYING! Regardless, he handled his tenure with grace, love and amazing ability and each of us KNEW there would be a time when this call would be issued to him. You could feel it in your bones when he would address us from the pulpit in a meeting. We just knew.

Things haven't changed much. He is humble, powerful, unassuming and wonderful to listen to. He even shared some challenges that he and his family had faced during that time, that were unbeknownst to us as missionaries. My burden was somewhat lifted... knowing that he too (in all his righteousness and near-perfection) had challenges at times in his life. It was wonderful to speak to him personally and share a little of my life with him right now. To talk to him about Jaxon, and the blessings and challenges that provides for our family. He was understanding, and affirmed that there was NO MISTAKE in having Jaxon a part of our family and that children with special needs are very carefully placed in their families for very particular reasons. That He knew, we could handle it. This I know, this I know.

I am grateful for small but powerful reminders that we are being watched over. No matter how extreme the challenge. I am grateful for the time I had to spend with President Hamula in such a personal way..tonight, but mostly in the mission field. He admitted that it was and probably always will be one of his most cherished experiences in his church committed life. Thank you for small blessings. Thank you for inspirations. Thank you for letting my life cross paths with such a profoundly beautiful spirit. Thank you, I am grateful. Enjoy General Conference . And if you would like to hear Jim Hamula speak, he will be speaking in the Priesthood Session on Saturday night. (You can read it later here)

It's a baby.........

GIRL!

Wow, you bloggers really know your stuff! Or you are all just wishfully thinking for me. I really wanted a baby girl to just even things out, and that is what we got. Of course, we are thrilled with whatever we are having, but I am thrilled to be able to look in the "girl" section for clothes again. I am also thrilled that Abby will have a baby sister. I grew up with 4 sisters, no brothers, and I know the joy and happiness that my sisters bring to me. I think they will be far apart enough in age that they won't roll down the stairs ripping each other's hair out... (did I do that?) But close enough like me and my little sis Hillary (private blog) to love and enjoy each other through the mommy years.

This is her waving to all of you bloggers... she will see you on (or hopefully before) February 2nd!

We are so excited! :)

I can see the light...BLESS THE STATE OF ARIZONA!

There are times that you do things for your children because you just have to. I am SURE you could make up your own list of things that you HAVE to do for your children... such things as wiping bums, doing laundry, fixing lunches the list goes on and on and is EXTENSIVE.

I have to add to that list... MEDICAL BILLS FOR JAXON. Some of you may think, WHAT HAPPENED TO JAXON? Well, nothing really... Jaxon happened. Discovering your child is Autistic is a long winding journey down a road that YOU DIDN'T choose. It just happens to you. From there, you go through a myriad of emotions, disillusionments, denials, heartbreaks, and frustrations.

I recently have come into contact with some women here in AZ who have Autistic Children. We have banded together to help each other with our GFCF diets for our children. I have started to think about Autism like lightening strikes. It never strikes the same WAY twice. But, we still have this amazing connection and understanding of one another. We were all struck by it... just not in the same way. Some cases were more severe than others... but it doesn't matter, we were struck and we have that in common. I love the way women get together to support each other. It makes me even more aware of the importance of the Relief Society in the church.

Anyway, back to the medical bills.. Lets see.. there are Vitamins, Specialists that DON'T accept your insurance, Speech Therapy, Occupational Therapy, and Rehabilitation. In our current position (3 mortgages in Spokane and rent here in AZ) these things tend to stress me out a bit and even though we find it a financial difficultly to do these things, you just feel like you MUST. Because you would do anything to give your child a better life. RIGHT?

IN WALKS THE GREAT STATE OF ARIZONA AND THE DDD.

What is the DDD? It is the Department of Developmental Disabilities. They have one in Washington too.. I qualified and never did find out what they could do for me... But I have here in Arizona!!! They can take that Speech Therapy, Occupational Therapy and Rehabilitation bill OFF MY PLATE. And, if I didn't think it would have hurt our status... I would have KISSED the man who came to evaluate Jaxon last week. You see, Jaxon is considered "high functioning" and thus is border-line when it comes to needing services. I mean, that is the thing.. He NEEDS them.. but does he NEED them as badly as someone else? Like I said, bless the man who did his eval. because he qualified him. They want to see Jaxon become a participating member of society AND SO DO I! (It just might take a little more work to accomplish that, but we all hope for it). This is a huge blessing for us, and I felt the weight lifted as he said those magic words.. "Well, I am going to qualify him" MARVELOUS. ANGELS SINGING GLORY BE!!!

Something else MARVELOUS? Back to those ladies.. Well, they are EXTREMELY well informed (better than me) of the issues, qualifications and available resources. THAT is why I depend on them so fiercely and I hope to someday be that same pillar of strength for someone else. I hope to encourage someone and give them direction when they start the GFCF diet. I hope to tell them about the DDD (like these women did for me) and I hope to tell them about the ACT Today program. It is a program that offers grants to families in helping with the care of their autistic children. And UNLIKE our HEALTH CARE SYSTEM... they think things like Vitamin Therapies and GFCF diets help.. and they are willing to help you. I hope to let you know in a few weeks that we have qualified for help with his vitamin regimen and specialist bills. Even though we have just started these alternative treatments, our bills are already in the thousands... Is it worth it? I think so. Thanks be to WOMEN who work so hard to HELP EACH OTHER. Keep reaching out with what you know!

Special thanks to Shari, Abby and Lisa for helping me through all of the resources here in AZ!

PS- I hope this is more uplifting that LAST SUNDAY'S BLOG!

Blessed to Be ALIVE

Let's break it down... shall we?

My house used to look like THIS:


Now it looks like THIS:

Thanks in LARGE part to Heidi, Kara, Amy, Lindsay, Holly, Whitney(she swears she is going to start a blog any day now, Karen, Lori and Emily.
These are the ladies in my hood. Yes, I am privileged enough to live just a stones throw away from ALL of these girls, even if it is just for a few more days. I talked them into going to a swanky restaurant for my final soiree... and they agreed! We talked we laughed, we talked some more.. we laughed.. But we sure as heck didn't take any pictures, and I blame Lindsay (not me) because she is the only one who had a camera.

Either way, afterward these ladies took pity on a single mother of three (Peter has been in AZ over a week now) and came over until 11:00p.m. to help me pack. They were a whirling dervish of activity and rather than tell them what they should and shouldn't pack, I just let them at it. They were amazing, and although I just really wanted to be in bed at like 9:00, I was thrilled with everything they accomplished. Even though I didn't have a bowl to eat cereal in this morning. (That is ok girls, I managed)

Let me tell you though, I love them. Yes, that brings tears to my eyes to say it. And even though I am thrilled as I have ever been about our move to AZ for various reasons, I am torn in two to have to leave my hood. I love you girls. And I am so grateful for the blogging world that will keep us together. Thank you for your years of love and endless service. I will never forget how it felt to live among sisters and saints. THANK YOU. (Ok, now that I am crying, I will move on)I will miss you. Tremendously.


So, today, more packing and ONE more party.. Abby's Fake Birthday. It went pretty well. Pizza: Check, Cake from Walmart: Check (remember, we are doing easy here) Party Favors: Check. Everything went pretty well EXCEPT FOR: 1 wandering partier, (NOT SHOWN HERE... we were still looking).
little shy on cake and pizza,
and Abby's Strep Infection.... in her ARM. Great, just one more thing to go on this crazy weekend. The pen mark was drawn by the Dr. who drew a circle around the infection to track how big it gets... Yeah, so, I have been a little busy, and didn't notice that Abby's arm was about to fall off until she was in her swimming suit! Okay???After packing most of the morning, getting pizza, babysitter, and party ready..THEN Party.. what would be a crazy day be WITHOUT a trip to the Urgent Care. Honestly, I just don't know. I survived.. I am blessed... and now, I have assumed the "position" (Prone in my bed with my laptop on my head (I mean lap) And this is how I want to be... Shhhhhhhhhhhh....

My Love

I only have 10 more minutes left for this post. 8 Years Ago Today, I got married. Although we already celebrated in Vegas, I had an insane day, and my husband has been horribly neglected. So, I want to show him that I really do care. My inattentiveness today in no way reflects the blessing that this day has been in my life. I still want my husband to know how much he means to me on this special day.
He is patient, loving and kind. He is more generous than anyone I have ever encountered in my life and I love him for that. At Christmas, we go to the tree of sharing and pick out a person matching the description of a person in our family and buy their gifts. Not just one, or two, but EVERYTHING they put on the list (Peter insists it be so) and then, he will buy the most coveted item that he can find and buy it for an 8 year old kid. (We don't have an eight year old)
Most people would never know the kindness he has in his heart. But I do.
Most people would never see what he goes through for our family. But I do.
Most people would never understand how much he gives to others. But I do.
Most people would never believe how much he gives to our family. But I do.
Most people will never know how strongly he believes in the gospel of Jesus Christ, and tries to live it. But I do.
Most people never give him the credit he deserves. But I try.

Peter, I love you just the way you are and for all the things you do for us and everyone around you. Thank you for my beautiful family and for all that you do to put a smile on my face. I love you. Thank you for marrying me 8 years ago.

Faith Restored.

Some of you may be wondering how my return flight from Utah was since I was definitely SCARED SPITLESS on the way there. I am happy to report my faith in traveling by myself with three children has been restored. No miracles happened this time around unless you want to call

1 bottle full of milk
1 handful of goldfish
3 cheese sandwich crackers
20 fruit snacks
1 Rice Crispy Treat
1 sippy cup full of apple juice
and
3 shredded cocktail napkins a miracle.
Sometimes you just gotta STUFF THEIR LITTLE FACES so they have too much food in their mouths to SCREAM! :) We made it, and Wade is 10 lbs. heavier. All is well.