Bachelor Re-cap. Highlights and Disappointments

Highlights:

*Chantal playing a mind game with Michelle over the fact her card doesn't have the word "love" in it. HILARIOUS! Well played Chantal.

*Michelle's back eye. Hysterical on So.Many.Levels.

*Michelle constantly icing her eye. With just about any frozen item out of the freezer. Even a popsicle with the awkward wrapper still on.

*Michelle's interviews. ALL OF THEM.

*Michelle's grumpiness. I mean, can Brad not see it from a mile away? I mean, you don't want to cross that girl. If he does it once, he will be in her dog house FOREVER! Do you wanna marry that?

*Ashley and the number of times she said, "uuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" It was redonkulous and became totally and completely irritating, and did you notice that she went from super cute girl on that first date, to NOT SO CUTE? I mean, it is almost like her whole face changed! Is it her hair? Or just the fact that she hasn't smiled in three weeks?

*The exit interviews: Finally some girls with their heads on! (They all took my, "What not to say class")

*Sending home THE RIGHT ladies. . except for Lindsay. She was a class act. Maybe a little on the boring side, but I would take her over Britt. What the heck does he see with BRITT? (PS- Ashley was about to get that rose before she started in with the uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhh! on that date. Awkward.)

Disappointments:

*The fact that Brad is digging Michelle. Ew. I watched a trailer for her movie and she totally plays, HERSELF. Like, it seems like that is all she ever is. . . .an act. A crazy act. If I didn't know the premise of the movie, I would say she was playing some Glenn Close roll like in Fatal Attraction. Seriously. She even looks crazy when she is supposed to be playing "sweet". Ps- that movie looks horrible.

*The interview they cut to of Chantal where she had crazy blue mascara on! WHAT THE HECK? First of all, that interview was totally out of the blue, she wasn't even wearing the same clothes, and then the BLUE EYESHADOW! I am sorry, but as much as people try, that look will NEVER come back. . . Don't even get me started with Chambray coming back this spring. No. No. No. Chambray is, was, and always will be a bad idea. Speaking of bad ideas, what was with Chris Harrison's Mr. Rodgers's outfit? (Totally stole that one, but couldn't resist)

*Ashley's earrings at the rose ceremony. Please tell me someone else saw those horrid 80's turquoise (but not REAL turquoise, but PLASTIC turquoise) earrings she was sporting that looked completely ridiculous. Seriously? She and Chantal need to let the 80's dream DIE! IT IS NOT COMING BACK!

Any other major disappointments? That is all I can think of!

The Bachelor- Brad Womack re-cap

Let's just all agree, the first night of the Bachelor is boring. Too many girls to keep track of.

Let's start with Brad's repentance.

Adequate.

That is all I can think of. You know? I mean, I nailed it right on the head. The guy was a commitment phobe. But at least he is willing to admit it now right? I am not sure, if I was one of those girls, that him saying that would make me feel any better. But he did it. So, GO BRAD!

The DeAnna and Jenni moment was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo reality T.V. And can I just state for the record that I am DONE with DeAnna? That smug look. That attitude. Yuk. I can't stand her for another minute! Please! Do we have to have more DeAnna?? Let's not. Mkay?

Not that I am a Brad lover... I am not. Maybe he will win me over, but I kinda doubt it.

Let's get on to the ladies.

Okay, let's not.

Except for a few.

There really are too many girls. I mean, they are up to 30 now????? When it all started, wasn't it like 20? Are they just trying to confuse the poor guy SUPER bad now? Or what? I have to admit, the "real-ness" factor this season was up. I mean, the girls seemed more "real" I know that is an oxymoron since they are on a Reality TV show, but it really did seem that way! All except for . . .

Vampire girl. Totally lame. Totally. All the looking over her shoulder, flipping hair. Seriously? Ugh.

And of course, our little Salt Lake City girl. . . um. wow. Did you see the dress? Did you see the SLIT? Crazy. She seems a little crazy too.

No one else stood out to me as a total nut job, but hey, it has been at least 24 hours now since I watched it, but I will tell you who I DID like.

Little southern Belle... However, it seems like she really does somethin' to tick Brad off. She almost seems like a female version of Brad. . . I like you buuuuuuuuuuut.....

What did you think?

PS- what is with girls crying on the first night??? Weird. If you leave on the first night, don't CRY about it!?

The Mormon Bachelorette

Well, if you have been reading this blog for any length of time, you know that I have a slight obsession with the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise. It is true. I think it is because I spent many years as a Bachelorette and feel like I have quite a bit of insight in the whole "dating" realm. I have several "theories" which someday I will write in a book and call it. . . ok, I don't have an idea for a book, nor do I have a fictional book title. I DO however, take pride in my ability to make the call with the Bach/Bachelorette finalists and if you have been reading you know that my call with DeAnna Pappas AND Brad Womack was SPOT ON. I am sure I have nailed a few others, but, whatever. . I am not here to talk about that tonight.

What I AM here to talk about is . .. THE MORMON BACHELORETTE, which, quite frankly, STOLE MY IDEA, which I consider intellectual property (learned that from watching the movie The Social Network) and I plan on suing them for millions later in life when they make millions. Or, I at least want to be invited to the wedding when Aubrey finds her man, oh, and I want credits on the website. Enough said.

One of my Bachelor/Bachelorette followers clued me in to the site which has taken on the task of finding Aubrey Messick an eternal companion. And no, it is not a joke. I am quite certain, if I was still single, and living with a bunch of great women that I would have totally come up with this idea on my own, so, kudos to them for taking it as far as they have. I would have been no match against Aubrey's style though. She always looks effortless and amazing. Anywho, when I first visited the site, they had a few "applicant videos" that were. . .well, horrible. And I couldn't even finish watching some of them. However, a little time has gone by, and now Aubrey has been on COUNT 'EM 22 DATES! WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I started watching a few of these dates tonight, and I have to admit, it made me want to walk around with a video camera following my every move and have a complete soundtrack to my life. (Ps- I am LOVING the music they have put to all this!) There have been all sorts of dates, and even a SCANDAL. Which, since I wasn't following the site daily, I missed. Sadly. (I am seriously making this easy for you with all of these links. . .)

Anywho, if you are one of my Bach/Bachelorette followers, this could probably entertain you for hours. So. . ENJOY.

PS- I have not watched all of the dates yet, but I am going to make the call right now that LARRY is going to make it into the finals because A-He is cute, and B-he got to spend the most time with Aubrey (he has acted as the camera guy on a few dates) and C- he got under a table to video her legs. . . Just sayin' .

And if there is anyone out there who wants to follow me around with a video recorder all day, I am sure my life would make for some interesting moments. So, I am open.

REALITY SHOW MASH UP

Let's talk Reality TV. It's been a while.

Starting with Dancing With the Stars:



Did you watch last night? I wasn't very excited about this year. Just not very exciting contestants. Let's be certain about one thing, as much as everyone hated her, Kate makes compelling reality tv, and I was always DYING to see what she was going to do this week and what crazy fight she was going to get into with nice guy Tony. Know what I mean?



Seems like this year is kind of a snooze fest, BUT, I will admit that I watched Jennifer Grey's dance last night 5 times. It was awesome, it was compelling, and I like Derek's hair this year. (I have a "thing" about hair styles. . . Just ask my husband-- I consider him 8 to 10 times more attractive if he has just gotten a haircut. . . I digress) But, Derek's hair DOES make a difference, and that dance was so fun, and exciting last night. I loved it. I am starting to forget about Julianne being gone. . . bad news for her, good news for Derek. Everyone else on the show is a COMPLETE SNOOZEFEST though, and puhlease . . . . How mean was it to put an old guy (Michael Bolten) with cute little thing Chelsie Hightower. I feel so bad for her. Michael needs to go. Serious. For Chelsie's sake.





THE BACHELOR



It was leaked last week on People that Brad Womack was going to be the next Bachelor. Ugh.



The Commitment Phobe? AGAIN??????? If you don't remember, Brad ticked off every woman on the planet by not choosing someone at the end of the Bachelor. For those of you who say, "GOOD FOR HIM! It is just a reality show!" I say, "YOU DIDN'T WATCH IT!" He seriously demonstrated perfection in the definition of "COMMITMENT PHOBE" and I am pretty sure there is a picture of his mug in the dictionary next those words.

The only thing worse than a commitment phobe is a SLIMY commitment phobe. You can even watch him and his interview on Ellen where he admits to TOTALLY LEADING THEM ALL ON!.




Anywho. Even better, Chris Harrison admitted to Ryan Seacrest the other day that Brad was indeed a commitment phobe and has been receiving THERAPY FOR IT! I would totally love to say that I am just not going to watch this all go down, but you know I am. You know it. I am such a sucker.

PS- I love Chris Harrison. Here is what he put on his Facebook page about Brad. As you saw announced Brad as our new Bachelor last night on DWTS. I know many of you have valid concerns and questions. All I can ask or tell you is give the man a chance to prove himself. If he lets you down he's all yours' and I'll help hold him down for ya!

And that is why I love Chris Harrison. Because he is willing to hold down Brad Womack so we can all get a shot at him. Love it.

SURVIVOR

Not totally invested yet. I had to finished watching Master Chef before my Tivo could catch Survivor (conflicting time slots) Anywho, was last weeks Tribal Counsel the biggest blunder EVER? Sure seemed like it!

AM I mising one?

I have three things to say:

1- My baby, yep, my last little baby went to nursery. Like, A MONTH AGO. But, hey, who keeps track of time anyway? I have mixed feelings. Some people say they cried when they dropped their last baby off in nursery. Some don't. I definitely didn't. But that doesn't mean I don't look longingly at that 6 week old baby in Relief Society. It is a weird kind of longing though. Not a longing to WANT a 6 week old baby, but definitely to hold one. Definitely to go back through time just to experience it again. And then instantly flash back to where I am now. For sure. And I am soooooooooooooooo NOT a baby person. I like "babies" when they are 9 months old. (Except Wade, he was perfect from day one). But there IS something in me that thinks about that time and cherishes it. But has moved on from it. If you are reading this, and you don't get it, I probably will never be able to explain it, but that is just the way it is.

(This is my baby, and if you can believe it, this is a 4T Old Navy Dress that has never been washed. And I know it doesn't look it, because I am standing above her, but it IS t-length, not too long. Yes. She is huge)



I look around my kitchen table at dinner and I am happy that every single face is there. Most people call it, "MY! You have your hands full" But, I call it perfect.

2- Someone asked me if I have ever watched "Parenthood" , a show that started last year on NBC. Regular old show about a family (extended) who have a son with Autism. I hadn't watched it. I set a timer on my DVR for it so I could catch some episodes when it came on. It recorded three yesterday. I watched them at super lightening speed (I love skipping commercials!) and I have to say. . . It is a good show. Well written. Pretty true to form with Autism, except Jaxon has different "issues", but impacts our life about the same way. And Peter is TOTALLY the Dad (Adam) and I am a lot like Kristina, except for more "fun" and probably more "manic". I sat there watching it and thought, "Why am I watching this? I live this EVERY DAY" (except for the daughter sleeping around et.al.) So, I can't say that I will add it to my permanent DVR list, but, if I didn't have so many previous obligations, I might. Which reminds me, I might have to do an additional Fall Line-Up Post. Comment if there is a show you want me to review!

3- I hired a trainer. For a few sessions anyway. I felt like my work outs weren't. . . working. I could have to do with the fact that I was on the road for 3 weeks during the summer and never hit the gym while the kids were out of school for 7 weeks. Okay, maybe I hit it a 'few' times but not enough, and well, whatever I had lost, found me again. But anyway, we talked about my "habits" and I told her that I always go for the 3 p.m. sugar binge (and 11 a.m. and 9 p.m.) and she said, "Well, if you don't have that stuff in the house, you won't be tempted to eat it!" I was like. . . um. . . "That isn't really my problem, MY problem is, I like to bake. So, it doesn't matter if I buy it or don't buy it. The problem is. . . I LIKE TO MAKE IT." And so, she told me what any good trainer would say, "THEN GIVE IT AWAY" So, I would like a list of people to give baked goods to at any moment in time. And if you would like to be on that list, please let me know.

Hopefully, my hips will thank you.

Bachelorette Re-Cap

Oh.you.guys.



What can I say? I am kinda speechless! I.KNOW.



I can't believe it either.



I have been sitting here waiting for inspiration to hit me and it just hasn't. But, I know a few things for sure. I can't WAIT to hear YOUR feedback, because I am sure you have a LOT to say. I know I always do each week, and I don't know what is different about this week.



I think it might be because of Frank. I honestly believe that Ali had chosen Frank (already in her heart). She would beg and beg and beg him to let go and be present and he just never was. She was so "into" him and it was obvious where her feelings were. Especially because she chose him for the last date. They ALWAYS choose the best for last because that is the lasting impression they want.



I think Frank's issues go FAR BEYOND having an "ex" GIRLFRIEND. And are more about him being a complete nomad with no real direction in life. So, in the end, it would be a total trainwreck, so, I am glad he did this anyway, but. . . . but. . . it almost deflates the rest of it, which is what really stinks because even if Ali chooses someone, I am not 100% sure she is going to be into him. You know? [Here I am acting like it works out most of the time. Ha!]



Anywho. Because I was struggling with this post, I decided to read my favorite re-caps. Both Ali and Chris Harrison re-cap every show, so, I went looking for my re-caps. I stumbled upon a re-cap on EW. Apparently there is someone there who re-caps every show. And to be honest, I thought I was reading one of our witty and smart re-caps! I loved it, and I have to link it HERE because it was hilarious.



The show starts with Frank in Chicago going to check out his "ex" girlfriend. I love putting that in quotes because it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO obvious that he didn't break up with her befor he left, but rather, said, "Hey. . I got his awesome opportunity to go on this show, and I am going, so, see ya later! If I come back, I would love to hook back up with you!" To me, she did not at all seem like a jaded or dumped "ex" but just the girl he left behind. (Ps- I watched an interview with Ali and she basically said the same thing. . . but, she defended Frank as being different saying that he did open up and try to have a relationship with her, but his feelings for another won out.)



What did you think of their "talk" didn't she seem like the most interesting and exciting girl EVER? Ya. At least Ali has some spunk! But whatever Frank. You are a total cad. Did he even tell her he loves her? The whole thing was weird. It seems like she was one of his employees at Starbucks and they started to date and well, the rest was history.

Back to the beach. RoBerto has the first date an MAN WAS HE SWEATY! Isn't that guy latin? Didn't he live in Florida? I have never seen someone sweat as much as RoBerto! Or Rerberto, as Ali calls him. He was pitting out all day/night and I just wanted to find him a cold shower. Poor guy. Ali on the other hand looked like she was vacationing in San Fran. What is with the pants? If it is half as hot as RoBerto makes it look, she should have been wearing a LOT less. Oh, and hats off to Ali's trainer that she negotiated as part of her deal along with her travel destinations. Her abs are looking amazing. RoBerto looked like a love sick puppy while on the helicopter and Ali was just happy to be lookin' out the window. I kinda wanted to smack her.

Ok, now you HAVE to read THIS RECAP because this is where I just can't compete. The only other thing I WILL mention is that dress that Ali was wearing for dinner. So super short. When Ali was starting her ascent up the ladder to the fantasy suite, I was just waiting to see if he glanced up. Yup. He did. RoBerto, you opportunist you. At least it was just a quick glimpse and not a complete stare down.

Now on to Chris. If you haven't felt love for Chris in the past, CAN YOU FEEL IT NOW? Man. I have always been a huge Chris fan, but now. . . NOW. . . I can hardly believe anyone else is still in the running! Between him being an amazing person to him having that incredibly giddy in love look on his face when he looks at Ali. . if she can even REMEMBER Frank's name, I would be amazed. I can hardly believe that she even CARES when Frank leaves.

There were just so many endearing moments with Chris that were making the decision VERY clear to me. Shall I list them? Okay.

• The windswept hair is a MUCH better look for Chris.
• Cuddling on the lounge chairs when Ali has her face pressed up to Chris's? And that GIGANTIC smile on his face? Come on! Priceless.
• The fact that he CAN'T TREAD WATER. What was up with that?
• Walking toward the beach while he is carrying her and kissing her the whole way? Hubba hubba. . .ticket to Tahiti please. Did anyone else notice they had aqua socks on right there, but at no other time?
• Looking for pearls? So, cute. Especially his response when he found one. (Where did Ali get her skirt from last I saw she jumped off the boat without it!)
• Saying, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY as he is kissing her. . .
• And looking around for Chris Harrison when the card appears and asking if he is going to arrive in Scuba gear.
• And telling Ali that HE is reading the card when she reads it for him. Hilarious.
• His response to "do you want to?" [go to the fantasy sweet?] If you missed it. Rewind it.
• And saying, "G_ _, I love you" Whoa. For reals.
• He is 100% confident about it and how can that NOT be s*xy. I'm just sayin'.

Now, on to the "confrontation" first of all, I really give Ali some credit. She could have really ripped him a new one, and she didn't. She even threw her flip flops in the other direction. I would have thrown them right at Frank. She even gave him a hug? Huh? I am not sure I would have done that either, but she really seemed to show some restraint.

The only frustrating part was her, "This ALWAYS happens to me" thing. I can hardly believe she is saying that with two other guys COMPLETELY drooling over her. Does THAT ALWAYS happen to you Ali? Um, I don't think so. So, I think it is time to start lookin' at what you DO have instead of what you DON'T. And trust me, Frank was no "prize" just look at that beard and if you need a reminder, watch him dance at the concert. No. Thanks.

Alrighty kids. Once again, I would LOVE to hear how you are feelin' about this episode! Jeanelle is at girl's camp, and Holly is about ready to burst, so, if you find me. . .SAY HELLO and tell me what you think!

Bachelorett Re-Cap!

Sorry folks! It has been on Jeanelle's blog for a while now, but I am on VACATION. So, I forgot to rush to my blog.

Here is the link!

JEANELLE'S RE-CAP of THE BACHELORETTE

I am hoping to post something interesting soon!

I have been put to shame

Last night was the Bachelorette.

When I sat down to watch it at 8:01 p.m. (because that is the SPLIT SECOND after my kids go to bed) I found out something HORRIBLE.

Abby had cancelled my Bachelorette Timer to record Kitchen Wars or something like that. (I told you. . . Foodie) and I was livid.

I work hard people.

All day.

With 4 kids.

20 loads of freakin' laundry.

cleaning up the 200 messes that K makes, (okay, I usually only clean up 50 and leave the other 150)

Driving kids to camp, swimming, going to the gym, and lessons.

And DANG IT.

I just want to come home and watch my show IN PEACE AND QUIET at 8:01 p.m.

I got mad. Very mad.

Went down to my husband and cried about my lost show.

(Seriously I did- It musta been a long day)

And you know what?

He felt bad for me.

It was nice.

That someone would feel bad for me.

Because really, don't we all look forward to that one little reward at the end of the day?

Yours might be ice cream.

Mine is the Bachelorette. (and cookie dough)

TomaTOE, TomATO.

It reminds me of another little rant of mine. An oldie, but a goodie.

Speaking of the BACHELORETTE. You MUST go read Holly's Post. It is her week to re-cap this week and MAN, it was hilarious. She put me to shame.

You can check out the comments if you want my take. But really, Holly's is completely perfect in every way.

Bachelorette Re-Cap

Okay, so, if you haven't figured it out by NOW, I am re-capping these episodes with some of my other Bachelorette Besties.

Holly was supposed to re-cap last nights episode, but her DVR didn't cooperate.

So, Jeanelle, who was supposed to do NEXT week, is doing it this week.

Don't worry, I still give my two cents on Jeanelle's comment section. Enjoy!

The Bachelorette Episode 3 Re-Cap

I am sooooooooooooo sorry it took me so long to get to this post! I wasn't able to watch the show until late last night, and as I was watching it, I thought to myself, "I need to be taking notes, because, I will never remember all the stuff I am thinking!" But, since I was in bed, with the covers up to my head, I never did get that note pad. So, I had to watch it all over AGAIN this morning, and take notes while I was watching so I didn't miss anything. Because, honey, you don't want to miss ANYTHING! It was just as funny, if not more the second time around too!

I was trying to decide HOW to re-cap when I was taking notes, because, let's face it, there are lots of options there. But then, a "theme" started to appear in my notes, so, we will go with a theme today, categorized by person. And the theme is going to be,

"PLEASE DON'T"

Let's start with Chris L. I guess, because I didn't load these up in any particular order! Chris L., Please don't get rid of that Boston Accent, it is endearing, and so are those pecks! (whoa).

Chris N, (Ryan Sutter look-a-like) Please don't ever wear those ugly 80's sunglasses EVER AGAIN! Oh wait, maybe you and Ali would look like an awesome 80's couple with your ugly glasses and her off the shoulder shirt.

Craig R., Please don't stop giving your take on every scene. They are always spot on. The producers obviously love them because you are pretty much the only one they put on there with your personal take, but I love 'em too, so, it is okay. I hear there is a job opening at American Idol. Think about it.

Frank, PLEASE DON'T wear that ugly beard anymore! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! It is not manly, it is SCRAWNY! I thought I told you that last week, but I guess you weren't listening. Please check Holly's blog next week for further instructions as I will be sure to leave more nasty comments about it. Oh, and one other thing, please don't wear your glasses on the top of your head unless they are sunglasses. It isn't cool. Oh, and sorry about this, but ONE MORE THING. Please don't ever ever EVER dance on national television again. You will thank me for that one. (Did anyone else catch that? Horrible)

Hunter, please don't wear your seat belt under your arm pit (I think it is the same shirt you have on in this picture) like a four year old. Just endure the wrinkles, okay? And although I LOVED having a Manny, please don't tell Ali that you want to be one on your first date. Your lack of ambition MIGHT be a turn off to Ali. I am just sayin'.

Beefcake, I mean, Jesse, Please don't wear a jean shirt AND jeans at the same time. You would have been better off with just the black shirt, and where was your suit anyway? You were at a ROSE CEREMONY! You shoulda looked your best! You were barely even on this episode... which probably means your beefcake ways aren't cuttin' it man.

John C., Please don't wonder aloud if Ali even knows your name, because you know what? She doesn't. Was that take of them in the bathtub too hilarious? Did you see his face when she got out? How about his face after he talked about his scene. Too much. Guess why they didn't re-do that take John, because it was JUST LIKE REAL LIFE! Sionara .

Weatherman, I love that that is what EVERYONE calls him. Jonathan, PLEASE DON'T say "Bare Naked Ladies" again. It looks bad coming out of your mouth. Please don't wear ANOTHER zippered jacket. Did you raid MJ's closet at Neverland Ranch? (Thanks Jeanelle! I was so tired last night I almost missed it!) And Please don't make EVERY interaction you have with Ali SO STINKIN' UNCOMFORTABLE! Geesh. Nothing says, "I'm uncomfortable" like wiggly scratchy fingers on the back after a kiss. Blech.

Justin, Please don't wear that ugly soul patch anymore. Because you have no soul. And PLEASE quit trying to get us to think you are a decent guy, because, we know you're not.

Kasey, Please don't talk anymore. It makes me want to clear my throat. And from the looks of it, it looks like you should keep your singing to yourself too.
Kirk, Please don't consider a career change into adult f*lms (don't want any google hits) because your romp on the video set was "so real". You acted like it was a bit too natural bud. Sorry.
ROBERTO, Please don't STOP being you, because you have got this in the BAG BABY! Kissing in the air was a GREAT idea, and I don't know if it was staged (okay, it was) but when you guys were looking into the sunset and you said, "I really want to see a lot more of these with you" I don't know what Ali was thinking, but I was pretty sure I would marry him. And that kissing? While laying down? I am pretty sure he was "feelin' it" because I SURE AS HECK WAS! (Okay, TMI, but you all know you were thinkin' it) Ps- Multi -LINGUAL esta muey S*XY!
Steve, Please don't get upset, but your helmet head would turn anyone off. Consider a new hair route. The picnic at the rose ceremony was cute, but too little too late. And please don't tell girls you have "fragile hands". Girls want TOUGH hands. BE TOUGH! (And please don't try to open a bottle of champagne on your own again)
Ty, please don't wear this ruffly shirt you have on in this picture EVER AGAIN unless you are in a Lawrence Welk skit on SNL. (Okay, I can see now that it is actually embroidered, but STILL!) And please don't wear that big medallion thingy again. It screams, "I HAVE NO FASHION SENSE OR DIGNITY!".

Was that it? Wow, that went by too fast! But I am forgetting one person.

ALI-

Please don't wear any more 80's clothes! It was NOT the most flattering decade. Please don't guffaw anymore when you are about to give someone a rose (ala Roberto's date) and PLEASE DON'T talk about how you know how it will "be" with someone when you are cuddling. Weird. And TMI.

K-thanks! Hope you enjoyed! Stop my Holly's blog next week for a re-cap post!

The Bachelorette Re-Cap

I know, I know. You are all waiting for my re-cap. Seriously, I soooooooooooooooooo wanted to re-cap last night's show, because it was awesome on so many levels. I even saved it because I might have to watch it again if I am bored today, which is not going to happen, but I hope it does.

If you didn't catch it, I am team re-capping this season with Jeanelle and Holly. They are my favorite re-cap girls and we all seemed to have been saying the same things last season so, we decided to try it.

I still get to have my say in her comments though, and you better believe that I did after last night's show, so please feel free to hop on over and check it out! :)

WE HAVE A WINNER!

Ok, someone won the citrus press.


Crazy huh.


Guess what?


You could STILL totally get the citrus press. . . FOR FREE.


If you hosted a catalog party with me.


Serious! I don't care if you live in Timbuktwo!


(Pampered Chef will totally ship there, I am sure!)


I can set you up on my website and you can have all of your friends order and then guess what. You STILL get FREE PRODUCT AND I will throw the citrus press in too.

Because I am nice like that.

And because I like FREE STUFF as much as the next person.

So,

If you are not KATIE! Who said, "I would love to win this! I make a lemon cake that requires TONS of fresh lemon juice and I hate squeezing them by hand!" (Number 38 by Random.org)

Then you can host an on-line party and STILL get your citrus press for FREE.


Awesome.

Come on, wouldn't it be nice to STILL get something for FREE?

PS- I WILL be doing my customary blog post on the Bachelorette, but I will be waiting my turn, because I have "Joined Forces" with Jeanelle and Holly, both of which obsess equally as much as me on The Bachelor. :) Holly will be posting tonight (or tomorrow - NO PRESSURE HOLLY!) and Jeanelle will do next week. I will be privileged enough to do week 3. We all started saying/thinking/and feeling the same thing anyway, so, it just made sense!

TV+ 10LBS

Dearest Natalie, one of my most valiant fans, actually took the time to go BACK to my TV story and see if they posted the video of my spot, and, THEY DID!

I am here to tell you that the TV REALLY does add 10 lbs. Because I just LOST 10 lbs when I was doing my NO SUGAR thing.. and yeah, well, after I saw myself on TV, I was like, WAIT!!! I TOTALLY LOST THOSE 10 lbs! I should have consulted with someone on what NOT to wear when being filmed... i.e. white shirt. Mkay?

But since I love ya'll. I am going to let you check out the video anyway.

You can click on the link from my original post, or you can CLICK HERE.

Once you are there, click on the little (tiny) video icon below the story line and it will let you see the video along with ALL OF MY CHILDREN in their finest "acting" mode. Why can't kids just be natural? WHY? WHY? WHY?

And I also want to mention that I am a TOTAL VICTIM OF EDITING. Because my kids ALWAYS LOVE WHAT I MAKE! (ok, but they rarely dislike it) But they asked Jaxon what he doesn't like and he said, "Burned Pineapple" Which would mean, when I put pineapple, one of his most beloved foods, on the BBQ. He obviously doesn't like it when it is BURNT. End of story.. You watch the edit for yourself! :)

THINGS TO LOOK FOR COMING UP!

• ANOTHER GIVEAWAY! HiP!
• MY ANNIVERSARY (tomorrow... 10 years, thank you)
• A PHOTO SHOOT OF YOURS-TRULY
• ANSWERS TO BURNING QUESTIONS!
• MY BIRTHDAY!

STAY TUNED!

DWTS Really?

Was anyone just missing plain old entertainment last night?

I WAS.

It seems like ALL the performances were a little heavy handed in the DRAMA department last night.

Really? Is DWTS the place to show your firm conviction of same s*x marriage? If it is, I wasn't feelin' it. Because, if you didn't notice, Niecy and Louis are NOT the same s*x, FURTHERMORE, their dance of "forbidden love" was. . . Far from that. And her sour face was not so fun.

Then there was Chelsie and Jake's dance. Is it just me? Or do they seem thoroughly annoyed with each other. It is obvious that Jake has problems taking direction from a 19 year old girl. But Jake, let's get real for a minute. You may not like being beaten down by a 19 year old girl, but she IS the PRO. If you were teaching her to fly a plane, and she wasn't doing it right, would you get on her about it? Yeah, you would. Don't go too much further Jake, or I am going to think you are a P.I.G. an not the animal kind.. the chauvinist kind.

Ashley. Speaking of heavy handed. It was driving me BONKERS that you were talking in Buzz's ear during the judges critique. What the heck were you saying? Was is REALLY that important? It is a dancing show Ashley, and, Buzz isn't that good and it is the judges job to say so. Just give him a hug and get that chip off your shoulder GEEZ! EVERYONE had a chip on their shoulder last night!

I really cannot even respond to Tony and Kate's dance. The judges totally called it. Pedestrian. I would call it more stomping around, but pedestrian sounds more nice. Tony, if you want to know what to do, please read Ashley's instructions above. Just give her a hug and call it good, cuz she stinks. Oh, but Kate? On a personal note, PLEASE don't wear your super curly hair all pulled back in the banana clip and pull your bangs back again (hair-dressing WTH?) it is REALLY not a good look for you. Seriously.


DWTS- Next week, can you please lighten up? What is going on over there? For the "best cast EVER" ya'll are kinda stinkin' it up!

Dear Kate

*thank you abc.com

Dear Kate,

You made me feel COMPLETELY uncomfortable tonight. I couldn't even watch, it was so uncomfortable. It was painful. And sad. And, if you really knew you had no "dance" ability, maybe you shouldn't have come on this show.. Even though you "need a paycheck" to "support your family". We get it. You are a single mom. That is tragic. But, maybe this was just a bad idea. You kinda ruined my TV tonight.

Not only that, but, you made Tony Dovolani, Mr. NICE. Quit. That is saying something Kate. Seriously. That Tony doesn't have a mean bone in his body. So, maybe you should look at that and think about it. I know I would.

Dear Tony,

Sorry. Hugs to you. I felt VERY badly for you tonight. Hope you get a good nights sleep. You looked like you needed one.


Dear Pam,

You and your partner just need to get a room.


Dear Derek and Pussy Cat Doll,

You guys are cheaters. And you are SO good, it make things anti-climatic, because we all know you are going to win. NO ONE gets a 10 in week 2. NO ONE. Stink a little more at your dance next week.


Dear Ashly,

Did you really have to name your two little boys Ammon and Enoch? Just wondering, because with names like that in Hollywood, they could live very un-happy lives. But I guess in some ways it is better than Pilot Inspektor. (Or whatever that name is).

Dear Maks,

I think you have biceps. You two are so weird together it is cute.

Dear Louis,

I used to think you were the most stodgy and difficult DWTS pro. Now, I just plum love you. But I don't think it is just me. I really do think you have loosened up a bit and I think you can thank Lisa Rhinna. I like it when you are nice to your partners.

Dear Cheryl and Chad,

We get it Chad, you like Cheryl, but maybe next week you should focus more on your dancing. We saw how painfully disappointed you were in your scores. Keep your head in the game man.

Dear Jake,

I seriously don't know if I like you or not. What happened to your thumb? I saw you icing it (baby). I know you "tried hard" But I still can't decide if you actually did a good job.

Dear Soap Star,

You have a really big head. But your really big head is a good looking big head, but I am just saying. Don't give poor Edyta so much crap. She is just trying to help you. I think she make have punched you intentionally. Just because she could.

Dear rest of the cast: If I missed you, you weren't compelling enough to write about! Sorry! Better luck next week.

Oh WAIT!

Dear Brooke,

You bugged tonight. You asked stupid questions that were already answered in the "package". I think you can do a good job, but ask about something OTHER than what was already shown in the package, your questions were awkward. Esp. The ones to Buzz, because he didn't get your joke,

Dear Tom. I heart you. As always.

ABC LOCAL NEWS

TONIGHT! At 10:00.

Me, my kitchen and my crazy kids.

(Don't you just LOVE how kids act when they know they are on camera?)

Yeah, me niether.

Watch for the cooking segment!

Link to Story HERE

Not sure if video will be on-line.

The Stage Was Set

If you read down far enough on my last post, you would have noticed that it said, I AM GOING TO BE ON TV!


A few days ago I got an e-mail from a friend who said they needed someone to do a "try it" segment for a news story. She thought I would be good because I cook in front of people all the time for The Pampered Chef. She was right. I loved it! It gave me some aspirations of doing my own cooking show... But we all know THAT isn't going to happen!


It was still fun though, and I had all the intentions in the world of giving you the play by play in pictures.

Here is the immaculate kitchen. I am pretty sure my kitchen has NEVER been this clean since I have moved in. I when I say clean, I mean, with everything put away. I always have endless piles on my counters!

The stage was set. Everything in it's place.

Looks like it is that way all the time! Huh! NOT!

I did Kaylie's hair all pretty,


And of course she pulled it out before they even got here!

I wish you could have see the camera and the lights, but instead, you can just watch it! Friday, ABC at 10 pm!

PS- I had a VERY strong inclination to blog about DWTS last night. Boy, there was sooooooooooo much to say about that show! But, then I wonder if you guys get tired of my re-caps of TV shows I watch... so, let me know? Do you want my take on DWTS? ----------------> VOTE!

*See top of my sidebar.

"The Wedding" Recap

Jason and Molly's wedding was last night. Ok, it was really February 27th, but it "aired" on TV last night. Of course, I didn't watch it until today and boy, did it make for some great entertainment.

If you are keeping track, that is a mere 4 days after the "finale" of flying' Jakes show. Did you love the re-cap of how "in-love" they are? (Oh don't try to pretend you didn't watch it.)
To be honest, the thing that struck me most is that Jake DID TRULY act like he was in love with Vienna. And when he said, "I have no doubt that we will be getting married someday" I believed him. And then, when she looked at him, smiled and said, "Yeah" and patted his leg, I so DID NOT believe her! Was that just me? Or was that vibe as 'bout as clear as crystal?

I love the, "where are they now" segments that the Bachelor does. It is like they know they have a bad wrap for not having successful relationships so they just have to pound it down every one's throat that INDEED they have a few couples together, but Charlie and whatshername? Please. They are as 'bout as solid as. . . their house they are going to buy. Just not very. I mean, I would like for them to stay together, but from the looks of it, not so much. I give them a 30% chance.

Ed and Jillian. I just tried to find a post from their season, and guess what? I can't! How weird is that! I know I posted about Ed at some point, but when I search for ed on my blog, it comes up with every ending of a word. Crazy. Well, anyway. Good for them. I am still not sure on the commitment level. It seems a little sketchy, but I am glad they got past the whole "scandal" and actually seem like they maybe still like each other. I was rooting for Ed anyway, so, it is nice to see they may have made it through the "drama". Time will only tell, but I give these guys, 50/50.

Deanna? Deanna Pappas? Is that you? With the break-dancer's BROTHER???? Did anyone else think that was a super weird match-up? But you KNOW they met on one of those "cast parties". Whatevs.. if it works, it will be a miracle. I give Deanna and crazy break-dancer's brother (who I actually really did like, but just thought he was too young) a 10% chance. For that exact reason... if he was really young, so, is his TWIN brother... and Deanna? Just a little too much woman for him.

Did you see Kipton sitting next to the Jason Mesnick cast off? They didn't show her with him again (the girl with the crazy sideburns) so, it was probably just to create buzz... Ok, you sit here.. with him... and good... now we will get the shot... and scene.

And Molly and Jason. Ok Jason. I know I thought you were seriously scum of the earth for doing that. But I can honestly say now... I guess it was alright. I mean, you made up for it in the end. Do I feel bad you got called names? Naw. You probably deserved it for a while, but it's all good now, right? You and Molly can have babies that inherit her LARGE EYES that you love and all will be well. Happy days. Thanks for making the "Bachelor" a success... hahahaha.

The Bachelor Re-cap

Well, we all knew it was coming. I held out a very small hope he would choose... no one. I mean, I would have rather he chose Tenley IF he had chosen anyone, but if not, then NO ONE PLEASE.

It is the classic case: did you hear it? It was Deanna Pappas all over again. (ugh, she bugged me) Did you hear him explaining it to Tenley? I wish I would have kept the recording because I would quote it directly right now, but in essence it was this:

"I think I know what has gone wrong in all of my past relationships. I always go for the crazy passion and it never ends up working out. With you (speaking of Tenley) there is everything else. Values, same demeanor, same interests we are just so much alike in all those ways and it just works!

Okay, so, that was Jake trying to convince himself that Tenley was a good choice for him, which, he actually ended up talking himself out of because they don't have enough 'fire'. Or whatever, but did you hear it?? Did you hear him say that NONE OF THE OTHER RELATIONSHIPS HAVE WORKED OUT? That is because, a fire dies baby, and you gotta have something else to carry it on. Knowwadimean? I mean, not all fires die, but I think that thrill at some point dissipates, or goes away and may even come back at some point, but then you find yourself questioning why you did it!! You have to have MORE than that to back it up, and Jake. . . poor straight shootin' Jake, just couldn't get his brain out of his pants.

Did I just say that?

Sorry.

That wasn't very PG, but you know what I mean. Tenley even proved she had the spice several times (like they showed in the flashbacks) but because she wasn't a diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirty girl, he just looked right on past it.

Better luck next time Jake! Get ready for the "I told you so!"


In other news: Jake the dancing pilot??? Ok, I am game.

And interesting move by Kate Gosselin. I wonder if we will like her more? Or hate her more? I hope she gets Maks as a partner. That is BOUND to make some serious reality TV sparks with their hot tempers. SET YOUR TIVO!

GO!

Bachelor Re-cap

Honestly...

My mouth is agape. Is that how you spell that? Basically, I am catching flies. The Bachelor went with new highs and new lows last night during last nights airing.. Did anyone else fast forward through most of the "Where are they now" segment? Because YAWN. I will tell you where they are now.. They are where they have ALWAYS been.. desperate and single.

When I saw Deanna, I was like... yep, there she is... still single, and she is gonna be for a . . . EVER! And who was excited to see Kipton. I WAS! He is so cute. But I tell you.. that was plumb boring. Thanks for giving back THE BACHELOR. (but we don't really care).

The truth is, they didn't have enough air time of girls ripping Jake apart to fill two hours.. and you wanna know why? Because of STRAIGHT SHOOTIN' JAKE. He never messed around and the girls had nothin' to say about it because he was always straight up.

But oh Michelle, could you see the crazy? Pushed down WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY deep? She had one chance to redeem herself and so she shoved that crazy down as far as she could go.. Too bad everyone COULD STILL SEE IT! Oh well.

And Ali, Aw. See?? I told you you should like Ali. She was snotty. She redeemed herself with Jake and THEN, she redeemed herself EVEN MORE last night. Now, that is a real, good, girl.. Someone who can admit to their mistakes and make a change... (MAN IN THE MIRROR!) Ok, sorry, MJ just popped into my head. But, she is obviously a mature person who can see when they look ugly and try to change.

THE CAGE MATCH: Seriously. No one is a match for Chris Harrison. No one. He is quick on his feet and knew exactly how to make Rozlyn look like a total and complete liar... even when she was attacking him personally. Wow. Seriously. I know I have professed my love for Chris Harrison SEVERAL times. Come on, you have to love him after singing "On the wings of Love" to Jake. Those outtakes are PRICELESS and I seriously wish instead of doing an hour of "The Bachelor gives back" I wish they would do a whole season of "BACHELOR OUTTAKES" or at least release them on DVD. I would buy.

In terms of our grand finale... I know what the spoiler is, and I am stickin' with my guns. I think it is WRONG. I don't think he chooses ANYONE! Did you see his response last night to Chris Harrison's favorite question? "Are you happy?" Is was a big sigh with not too much enthusiasm. . ."Yeah" Sorry Jake, but you are not a great actor and that WAS NOT CONVINCING. So, even if he DID pick you know who. (She who cannot be named) It seems like he may be having a bit of "buyer's remorse".

Until next week. . . . .

PS- I am having a GIVEAWAY! Please enter! FREE STUFF!