It is 4:39 p.m. and I am still in my pajamas. I went to bed at 2:30 a.m. and Kaylie woke up at 5:00. Gotta love that girl. LOVE IT!
We have lived in this house for nearly 6 months and the most I have done since moving in was decorate my kitchen. The only reason I decorated it is because Abby was having a birthday party. (And I needed more room than having boxes all over the floor could provide) I LIVE in my kitchen. My laptop even resides in my kitchen now. I used to reside on my bed when I was pregnant, but since then has gotten quirky about me moving it about. (husband said it is not for bed use. To that I say, whatevs) I figure, if the kitchen is the only room I see all day, why should I do any other room???
I was on strike. How could I possibly unpack another box or decorate another room after moving 9 times in 9 years. The answer was, I couldn't. I couldn't do it anymore. I was worn out. Not necessarily because of moving, but because the strain of the last year was so overwhelming. . . moving again was the the culmination of a gigantic ugly year. A GIGANTIC UGLY YEAR.
I didn't want to deal with the after math of THAT. Everyone has their limits. I finally met mine. I consider myself tough. REAL TOUGH. But I met it. (hello wall, nice to meet you!) I am sure everyone in their life at some time meets it.
My thought is: if I don't unpack. I won't have to RE-pack in a year... (not saying we will move in a year, not saying we won't, it just seems to be the pattern).
I protested for these last 6 months. We didn't have many people over, so, it didn't matter. As a matter of fact, I used to entertain people several times a month in our house in WA. It was built that way... for entertaining, and I loved it. I love to entertain! I think the events of the year were just so overwhelming I lost the desire to entertain. Plus... anyone else could do it, so, why put the additional strain on myself.
I lost a bit of myself in not entertaining. I love to. I love to feed people. I love to welcome them over. I love to enjoy other people's company. But I just lost that love.
It was sad.
I lost a part of me.
But my husband is a smart man. A very smart man. VERY VERY smart man. You see, normally, I am the "coordinator" i.e. We are having so and so over for dinner, so, like it k honey? (he is a fan) But for almost 1 1/2 years since we lived here, I just haven't done it. Suddenly, he started lining up dinner dates... AT OUR HOUSE. One person one week... another person next week.. oh, and this person a few weeks from now.. I was willing. It felt kinda good to have "entertaining Lindsey" back.
But there was a problem.
And the boxes all over my house.
It is kinda weird.
To have boxes all over
and to have lived here for plenty of time to get those boxes unpacked.
My house was becoming a reflection of the last year of my life. ONE BIG DISHEVELED MESS.
So, today, I did it. I unpacked my living room. It was therapy. It brought me joy. I like things to look nice. But I just kinda gave up. It feels good. And I am sure it will feel better to those visiting my house next time too.
I think I am almost back to my old self.