WHO KNEW?

Who knew the that Travoltas had their temple whites ready?

Does anyone else think that pic looks a little strange?

We interrupt WHY I WEEK for a quick open letter to a celebrity

Dear Bret Michaels,


You are sick. You should really stay in bed. (We know that is where you would rather be anyway... ) You are making yourself look REALLY DESPERATE for cash. I mean, I know you should "Strike while the iron is hot" and all that, and, it has been surprisingly hot for you since you started your romp with as many women as possible show. (Oh wait, I think it is called Rock of Love).

Really, with Diabetes, a stroke, and a hole in your heart, I think you ought to spend some time recovering, because if you don't. . . well, I hear there is no "Rock of Love" in heaven. I am not sure that I am saying I think you should stick around this earth, because there are people all over the world who are donating the hair of their heads so you can wear it under a sweaty headband, and I think there are probably a few cancer patients who could use that hair. Just own up to your baldness man. It is a better move. You can keep the guy liner, but, come on.

Anyway, best of luck in your recovering hiking Mt. Everest. I hear is is a doozy, so, be careful. But make sure to have those video cameras on. Because it would sure be a waste to miss any second of your life on film.

Sincerely,


Lindsey

Dear Kate

*thank you abc.com

Dear Kate,

You made me feel COMPLETELY uncomfortable tonight. I couldn't even watch, it was so uncomfortable. It was painful. And sad. And, if you really knew you had no "dance" ability, maybe you shouldn't have come on this show.. Even though you "need a paycheck" to "support your family". We get it. You are a single mom. That is tragic. But, maybe this was just a bad idea. You kinda ruined my TV tonight.

Not only that, but, you made Tony Dovolani, Mr. NICE. Quit. That is saying something Kate. Seriously. That Tony doesn't have a mean bone in his body. So, maybe you should look at that and think about it. I know I would.

Dear Tony,

Sorry. Hugs to you. I felt VERY badly for you tonight. Hope you get a good nights sleep. You looked like you needed one.


Dear Pam,

You and your partner just need to get a room.


Dear Derek and Pussy Cat Doll,

You guys are cheaters. And you are SO good, it make things anti-climatic, because we all know you are going to win. NO ONE gets a 10 in week 2. NO ONE. Stink a little more at your dance next week.


Dear Ashly,

Did you really have to name your two little boys Ammon and Enoch? Just wondering, because with names like that in Hollywood, they could live very un-happy lives. But I guess in some ways it is better than Pilot Inspektor. (Or whatever that name is).

Dear Maks,

I think you have biceps. You two are so weird together it is cute.

Dear Louis,

I used to think you were the most stodgy and difficult DWTS pro. Now, I just plum love you. But I don't think it is just me. I really do think you have loosened up a bit and I think you can thank Lisa Rhinna. I like it when you are nice to your partners.

Dear Cheryl and Chad,

We get it Chad, you like Cheryl, but maybe next week you should focus more on your dancing. We saw how painfully disappointed you were in your scores. Keep your head in the game man.

Dear Jake,

I seriously don't know if I like you or not. What happened to your thumb? I saw you icing it (baby). I know you "tried hard" But I still can't decide if you actually did a good job.

Dear Soap Star,

You have a really big head. But your really big head is a good looking big head, but I am just saying. Don't give poor Edyta so much crap. She is just trying to help you. I think she make have punched you intentionally. Just because she could.

Dear rest of the cast: If I missed you, you weren't compelling enough to write about! Sorry! Better luck next week.

Oh WAIT!

Dear Brooke,

You bugged tonight. You asked stupid questions that were already answered in the "package". I think you can do a good job, but ask about something OTHER than what was already shown in the package, your questions were awkward. Esp. The ones to Buzz, because he didn't get your joke,

Dear Tom. I heart you. As always.

Dear Adam Lambert

Dear Adam,

You are not Beyonce. . .

Nor are you Britney Spears. . .

Hate to break it to ya.


Much Love and Best Wishes,

Lindsey

You can listen to britney's. . . i mean Adam's new single HERE.

POP Culture

The VMA's were last night. I didn't watch them, but, I heard there was some "drama" so, I went to the site to check it out. . Here is what I found:

Lady Gaga (photo via mtv.com)

Can you say, issues?


I mean, this takes issues to a whole new level. . no? (Lady Gaga--again)

And Madge, you need to lay off the plastic surgery. You aren't foolin' anyone anymore as the most youthful 51 year old. Mmmkay? You are starting to look like the cat woman. .

I'm just sayin'. . you are about one step away. . It is a fine, fine line.


But now, to the REAL reason I visited the VMA site. . I heard they previewed a new movie trailer. .

Have you seen the movie Twilight? I mean, during the day, when you are not surrounded by a million screaming teenagers, and when you are not hopped up on caffeine? Because there were parts that were laughable. Seriously. Don't hurt me.

THE GOOD NEWS IS: NEW MOON LOOKS A WHOLE LOT BETTER!!!

Movie Trailers - Movies Blog

PS- Dear Kanye, we are all tired of your tirades. . Time to lay off the sauce and go to rehab.

You Should Be Embarrassed

Jon Gosselin.

Seriously.

Because you are looking like a total and complete idiot.

And if I DID ever feel sorry for you,

because sometimes your wife seems REALLY over the top,

Now, I DON'T.

Because you pierced both your ears (and I am pretty sure you are over 30)

And because I just read THIS story, and it is seriously SO DUMB.

And I think you and Kate have had just a WEE BIT TOO MUCH ATTENTION.

But at least she is not galavanting around the world with a paparazzi pack.

She is at home with the kids.

And right now, she is looking a whole lot more put together than you.

And your 30-something mid-life crisis.

Dear Sarah (George Clooney's Ex)

Hey, if Celia can write letters... so can I!

Dear Sarah,

I heard today that you broke up with George... Sorry... I mean, did you REALLY think that you could get the most famous bachelor on the planet to settle down? I mean, I did there for a while, so certainly YOU must have thought you could! You seemed pretty "normal" and "down to earth" (whatever that means) and I thought you might actually have a chance! I did notice that you were 'absent' from the last few events. What happened? Did you ask for a ring? Did you get all pushy and committal? Did you have a DTR with him? (Define the Relationship) I mean, cuz, anyone would have told you that that would send him running.

Well, I hope you have a good time settling into your old apartment. Probably gonna feel kinda small now.. Hopefully you get to take home some great "parting gifts" with you. I hope you also had a note on your back as you walked out the door that said, it is HIS LOSS... because in my last big break up (before the marriage) I just happened have to have that written on the door he was walking out of. (and Yes, he saw it--I call that Karma) Anywho, I hope you have some good Karma coming your way. But, I can't think of any other famous bachelors who aren't already taken! I mean, they are all pretty locked up right now... Even Lance Armstrong (rumored to be with Kate Hudson), and Matthew McConaughey--girlfriend with child, Jake Gyllenhall (Committed to Reese Witherspoon) Brad is committed (I guess that is what you would call it- 6 children later) and Matt and Ben are actually married (IMPRESSIVE!) Maybe you could hook up with Jen and Luciana and ask them how they "did it" (meaning, got their men to commit) Anywho... hopefully you can get back to work. I am sure there are a few bars hiring. Best of luck!

Love,

Lindsey

PS- I realize in this post, I have just professed how much I know about the celebrity world, and no, I am not proud of it. :)