Nothingness

This is such a weird feeling. I have never had this feeling before. . . Nothing is going on.
We aren't going anywhere for summer vacation.
Peter is home. A LOT, because he just hired a manager for the store.
My kids are home, and don't have a ton of things to do.
I mean, I have signed them up for a few summer things, but, in all, it doesn't fee like much.
I am working, but it is definitely slower in the summer.
I watch other people's lives swirling around me.
And I am grateful.
That I am not packing a box,
or trying to find a place to live,
or making life changing decisions,
or having major upheaval,
or devastation,
or anything else.
I am SO grateful.
And although I am probably at my best when I have a little bit of stress,
I am grateful that there is no stress.
I am just plum happy about it.
I may finally have a normal life.
Like you all have had for many, many years.
Where you don't move,
and you don't pack boxes,
and you don't stress about where to live.
or what your husband is going to do for work,
and it feels FREAKING FANTASTIC.
And I can say that because it is my blog.
And I don't feel bad about it.
Not one bit.
I still look back on my life and wonder what on earth was happening,
and wonder how on earth I survived it.
And realize man! I DID SURVIVE IT!
And I now see other people, with their turn,
for whatever.
And I am here for you, for them.
If you need me.
Because I understand.
And I am grateful for that too.
Because that is what life is about.
Understanding.
Having compassion.
Loving.
Understanding.
I wonder if this feeling will ever go away.
Or if I will just continually be amazed that I made it to this point.
It feels good.
And I am grateful.