Monday, March 29, 2010

Dear Kate

*thank you abc.com


Dear Kate,

You made me feel COMPLETELY uncomfortable tonight. I couldn't even watch, it was so uncomfortable. It was painful. And sad. And, if you really knew you had no "dance" ability, maybe you shouldn't have come on this show.. Even though you "need a paycheck" to "support your family". We get it. You are a single mom. That is tragic. But, maybe this was just a bad idea. You kinda ruined my TV tonight.

Not only that, but, you made Tony Dovolani, Mr. NICE. Quit. That is saying something Kate. Seriously. That Tony doesn't have a mean bone in his body. So, maybe you should look at that and think about it. I know I would.

Dear Tony,

Sorry. Hugs to you. I felt VERY badly for you tonight. Hope you get a good nights sleep. You looked like you needed one.


Dear Pam,

You and your partner just need to get a room.


Dear Derek and Pussy Cat Doll,

You guys are cheaters. And you are SO good, it make things anti-climatic, because we all know you are going to win. NO ONE gets a 10 in week 2. NO ONE. Stink a little more at your dance next week.


Dear Ashly,

Did you really have to name your two little boys Ammon and Enoch? Just wondering, because with names like that in Hollywood, they could live very un-happy lives. But I guess in some ways it is better than Pilot Inspektor. (Or whatever that name is).

Dear Maks,

I think you have biceps. You two are so weird together it is cute.

Dear Louis,

I used to think you were the most stodgy and difficult DWTS pro. Now, I just plum love you. But I don't think it is just me. I really do think you have loosened up a bit and I think you can thank Lisa Rhinna. I like it when you are nice to your partners.

Dear Cheryl and Chad,

We get it Chad, you like Cheryl, but maybe next week you should focus more on your dancing. We saw how painfully disappointed you were in your scores. Keep your head in the game man.

Dear Jake,

I seriously don't know if I like you or not. What happened to your thumb? I saw you icing it (baby). I know you "tried hard" But I still can't decide if you actually did a good job.

Dear Soap Star,

You have a really big head. But your really big head is a good looking big head, but I am just saying. Don't give poor Edyta so much crap. She is just trying to help you. I think she make have punched you intentionally. Just because she could.

Dear rest of the cast: If I missed you, you weren't compelling enough to write about! Sorry! Better luck next week.

Oh WAIT!

Dear Brooke,

You bugged tonight. You asked stupid questions that were already answered in the "package". I think you can do a good job, but ask about something OTHER than what was already shown in the package, your questions were awkward. Esp. The ones to Buzz, because he didn't get your joke,

Dear Tom. I heart you. As always.

9 comments:

Amy said...

Seriously. What the heck with Kate? You could see her counting.

Amy said...

That was Amy Lawson...from my work account. Oops.

Danika said...

Well said!

Natalie said...

i missed it dang it! thanks for the re-cap. you made me feel as if i was there:).

Hollyween said...

I gave up this show a couple seasons ago mainly because it was too time consuming. I mean, three nights a week, two hours every night? Maybe I'd watch it if that's ALL I'd watch.

This was hilarious. I plan on reading every single update you give on it. Oh, and I read about what Ashly named her kids. I agree.... TOO TOO MUCH! What was she thinking?

Emily said...

perfect!!! and was brooke dress not awful??

jessica said...

Because I tivo this show, I skip all the people I don't like...which is pretty much everyone. You were so right on with your notes. Seriously Kate, quit using the "feel sorry for me I'm a single mom that exploited my family" vote.

I love Chelsie. I really love her. I can't stand Derek. Is is just me or does he look like an alien?

Oh and I don't think Brooke could get any more on my nerves.

Shanakin Skywalker said...

After reading this I had to google the Dancing episode and see exactly what happened. I don't have TV so I get all my pop culture news from FB and blogs. Anyway, I got stuck on a Kate Gosselin chain of news stories after seeing that. Thanks for the night time catch up on what's been going on in her life for the last 5 years!

sarah goodman said...

I LOVE you! You TOTALLY said it! I was feeling major pain for some of those people and wondering what the heck they were thinking signing up when they can't even keep a beat!

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