Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Bachelorette Re-Cap

First of all, I would like to apologize to Holly because I gave her a bad time last week for putting up her post so late, yet, here I am, putting up my post late! I am on vacation and balancing obligations with vacations is not that easy. So, SORRY HOLLY! By the way, her post last week was particularly hilarious and if you missed it, you need to go back and read it because it was way too funny.

Second, I would like to thank Hillary (my sister) for letting me watch the Bachelorette last night with her. (And Trevor) The pregnant lady stayed up late just so she could watch with me. And everyone knows it is more fun to watch the drama unfold with someone else! Especially someone who has the fantastic ability to balance things on their stomach.

I can balance plates, but she can balance remotes.

It was a pleasure Hills, thanks. While we watched the show, we also partook of Cupcakes from the SWEET TOOTH FAIRY. Most commonly cited HERE. They were good, my review will follow in a few days, but I think I am still partial to Sprinkles. Just sayin'.

Alright, let's start.

It became BLARINGLY clear last night as to why Ali dropped her job to do the Bachelorette. Yes, so she could "find love" Gah. But it was OBVIOUSLY so she could get a FREE TRIP around the world. I could have SERIOUSLY thought of MUCH BETTER places to go. How 'bout PARIS!, ROME! MONACO! GREECE! Apparently she has been all those places and decided to really "go crazy" (literally) and hit the beautiful and bizarre lands of Iceland and Turkey. I can seriously hear the phone call now. Ali: "The only way I would EVER do this is if I can go to whatever locations I want to film, and get LONG hair extensions, FAKE EYELASHES (were those driving anyone else crazy last night?) and a FREE WARDROBE that I get to keep. Oh, and a photoshoot for InStyle Magazine." Whatevs, Ali.

They really let the drama unfold quickly last night. With THE SCANDAL! Everyone knew about it, right? If you didn't. You have been living under a rock. But seriously. There were so many fabulous moments, the only way to capture them is via bullet point. What was to like more?

  • the shakey action cam filming the phone call in the US? How cheap was that! [Producers: Hey, do you think you could get someone over there with a video camera to film you? Girls: Sure. We will have the THIRD girlfriend come!]
  • the number of rings it took them to answer the phone? Did they think it was going to have more drama if they did more rings? Let's cut to the chase people!
  • the "Snooki Poof" that the girlfriend was wearing? (If you don't know what that is, google it)
  • the crusty Justin had on his face when Ali came in to the guys room, nothin' says, "I love you and I am INTO THIS like a big old, "I just woke up" crusty.
  • Chris Harrison. (He gets a few of his OWN bullet points.)
  1. Was it just me? Or did he look like he was about to bust up laughing at every minute?
  2. I love how he jumped out of his seat to sit closer to her in case she needed to cry on his shoulder.
  3. Did anyone else notice the finger to the forehead while he was listening? He was seriously craking me up.
  • How about the way Justin was running away from the camera? Jumping over planters? WHAT? That seriously could not have been better even if they had said, "Okay Justin! Jump over those planters so you look like a COMPLETE idiot!"
  • How 'bout the voicemails being played as he is running away. An awesome "touch". Classic. The whole show could have been just that and it would have been equally hilarious.

Okay, I have had enough of Justin. And you?

Let' s move on to the bad hair week that Craig R was having. Did anyone notice the doofus (is that how you would spell it?) he looked like at the VERY beginning of the show when EVERY SINGLE GUY was wearing a hat, and he was wearing his a LITTLE too far back on his head ala farmer Joe? Not a good look man, not a good look.

How about the several times he was shot with actual hat head. Like he had just taken that hat off and all of his hair was pressed flat to his head. I am sorry, but throughout the WHOLE THING, Craig R. was looking worse and worse and Chris L was lookin' better and BETTER!

Craig R. never made it out of the "friendzone" as my sister was calling it and Ali's body language was CLEAR as CRYSTAL. Sorry Craig, whatever "connection" you thought you guys were having was um, non-existent. You could tell by all of the "fake laughing" Ali was doing during their date. Nothin', nada, NO CHEMISTRY. He still gives the most hilarious takes, and although I really liked him (aside from the hats and hair) he was outta there.

I am sorry, I know there are a LOT of Ty lovers out there. And YOU CAN HAVE HIM! Those turned out feet, that BIG HONKIN' MEDALLION that looks like a Transformer shield or something, the little black ankle socks he was wearing? Sorry Ya'll. I still don't get it. Just don't. Everything he said was CHEEZY. But even with all that, he COMPLETELY SHOT HIMSELF IN THE FOOT by saying, "Yeah, I divorced my wife because she loved her job and didn't want to be barefoot and pregnant." Oh, you didn't hear him say that? WELL HE DID! He totally did. It sounded like he was sayin' a whole lotta nuthin' but if you listened to him long enough, that is exactly what he was saying. He was just trying to say it so Ali wouldn't notice because she was OBVIOUSLY dedicated to her career. At the end, he tried to patch it all up by saying, "But, I don't feel that way anymore." huh.

Let's move on to Frank. Let me start by saying that there has never been a season of the Bachelorette where the guys have sat around and chatted like a bunch catty little girls more, and it cracks me up. I mean, Frank actually said, "He is the kind of guy you would date, but not the kind of guy I want to marry." He REALLY DID SAY, "I WANT TO MARRY". (Okay, I am pretty sure, but I don't have time to rewind it now, but that is what I wrote down) Which reminds me that Hillary's gaydar has gone off more than once in association with Frank and after seeing him in that white tank and brown sweater (which seems to be his only outfit) several times, I am starting to side with Hillary. That, and that he bought the weatherman's jacket in army green .. and we all know where the weatherman stands. Not to mention the EXTREMELY WUSSY BEARD, which I cannot believe he hasn't shaved ONCE. Give me a break! Can't you shave JUST ONCE? Did anyone else notice the background music for the date with Frank? Choir of angels? Really? I think that was going a little far. I know they were just trying to build up for the drama with next week, but it was really, really too much.

Speaking of the Drama for next week. If you go back to week ONE with Frank, he has always talked about how into Ali he is and blah blah blah. But he said, REAL things ABOUT Ali and about how much he liked her and was into her. Justin NEVER said things about Ali, he just said things like, I am here for the "right reasons" etc. But never personalized it. In my book, that makes Frank a BIGGER jerk for going that much further and taking up that much more of her time and "going there" with her. I know it didn't say exactly WHAT Frank's big issue is, but I think we all know where it is going. . . . He is in love with the Weatherman.

I don't have much more to say about last nights episode other than.

I like Chris in oil.


Trevor thinks you should never trust an insurance salesman named Roberto.


Jill said...

great recap. this show is seriously the most entertaining thing on the tube. LOVE it. oh, the drama never ends. last night was so good, I was feeling every emotion. GOOD JUNK TV.

Hollyween said...

Oh my word. That recap was the bomb. SO flippin' hilarious that you mentioned Ty's necklace looking like a transformer shield!! What the heck is with that thing anyway?

I hate Frank. He's a weasel and I can't wait to find out what he did that he waited ALL. FREAKING. SEASON. to do. I loathe his glasses. LOATHE! Did you notice the several awkward silences while he was talking to Ali? I don't get the chemistry she's talking about cuz it sure ain't apparent on camera.

Did you notice the two seconds where they showed Ali walking a' la the Seinfeld girl with stiff arms? I had to pause and rewind twice because it was so funny.

Oh, and you forgot to mention the SUPER SUPER fake crying from Justin's girlfriend. She kept sobbing and yet, no tears... fake and yeah... what in the world was with the shakey camera? I thought I was going to barf.

And I love that you mentioned Justin's super crusty morning face and him hopping around through the bushes. ha ha ha ha ha ha What a Loser.

My top pics are Chris and Roberto... cuz you KNOW Ty sort of lost it with me with the whole 'barefoot and pregnant' thing he alluded to (oh yes, he did).

Love these recaps. Who's got next week?

Jeanelle, do you want me to take it to make up or do you want it? It doesn't matter to me.

I'm linking you right now...

Hollyween said...

Also, I have to say how super sad I am that it didn't work out with us meeting up. That would have been sooo much fun. If you get bored and want to visit my large self, come on by.

Hollyween said...

And weren't you a bit surprised that Craig thought he was a step ahead of everyone else? There was zero chemistry between those two. Zilch. Nada.

Hollyween said...

Also, Chris L. really does look good in oil, but did you notice his super tacky tennis shoes he wore to the rose ceremony. Tack. EEEE.

diane said...

I'm with you on Craig's hair. There were a couple of times he was sporting the Dumb and Dumber look. So bad.

Ty bugs. I can't handle the use of the phrase, "Fixin' to..."

Ali's hair looked worse than ever. That girl needs a deep conditioner, a haircut, and low lights. I've had enough of the yellow hair.

It was an action packed episode and I love your recap. You get points for bullet points.

I'm not happy that they are giving so much away in the previews. I like to be surprised. Half the fun is the anticipation of who will get the boot.

Aaron + Kayti said...

thanks for the awesome recap! however, you forgot to mention the scene where ali and frank bought that blasted rug and frank ended up carrying it around with them - haha, i could have died that was so stupid!

i have to agree though, i love chris in oil.

Leah said...

Chris. Yes. Yes. and Yes.

And you are SO right about Ali's CRYSTAL CLEAR body language to Craig. And SO sad he couldn't get that. It's like we need to show that footage to all of single America to teach guys how to tell if a girl is NOT into you.

Rebecca McNair said...

Yes, Holly! Chris's shoes!!! He is my fav! But helloooooo???!! Great recap!!!

Jeanelle said...

Why did they show so much in the scenes from the upcoming season? I don't get it. You know they do crap like that to manipulate us but I still don't get it.

I loved and adored watching Rated R traipse through the bushes, hedges and shrubbery. Hilariously funny to me. I loved how Ali just totally confronted him and called him out. It made me respect her even more. HOWEVER, her laugh is killing me. Like to the point where I cannot stand it. One commenter on one of our blogs mentioned it early on but it didn't bug me then. Now, it's bugging me. I do like Ty but the jewelry - you nailed it. I just don't get the strong chemistry vibe like I do with Roberto and Chris. and seriously, Chris dresses as bad as Jesse (my eye candy.) You also totally nailed the girlfriend's fake tears. And how contrived was the whole scene. A former contestant just happens to know a girl who happens to be dating a current contestant? So staged! okay, I should rewatch and comment more but this is all this sleep deprived girl can muster for today. LOVE YA! Wish I could come to your PC party!!

Jenibelle said...

You left out one thing...
What's with the dorky, dorky tennis shoes that Chris was wearing? Get some decent clothes/shoes already!!!

Love the recaps.

k2liketheski said...

I am a very delayed and delinquent visitor from Jeanelle's blog this week. I've started reading about 10 times and gotten distracted, much to my dismay as I LOVE LOVE LOVE your recap now that I've finally finished it!

Seriously? What in the heck is up with the transformer medallion? Ty has never done it for me and this last episode didn't help.

And Justin? Really? If he came on the show to further his wrestling career, well....good luck with that. I wouldn't even hire him as a gardener. What, with tromping all over the shrubs!?

Fantastic recap lady! I think the three of you really have a good thing going with this rotating recap. Keep up the great work!



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