Thursday, June 3, 2010

I cried the ugly cry.

Yesterday was the last day of school. The day BEFORE yesterday, I was trying to find someone who could watch my kids while I went to the dentist. One friend said, "I have to go to Kindergarten Graduation", and then I remembered,


I immediately checked the time of the "graduation" and it was at exactly the same time as my dental appointment. That was NOT going to work. So, I cancelled the appointment and prepared myself to fight with two non-stationary kids during a kindergarten graduation the next day.

The next day came and my husband was home sick! Perfect! Now I can go hands free to the graduation! (I am sure he was thrilled). Anywho, I entered the auditorium and sat down. After a few minutes of waiting I saw Jaxon's teacher enter the room. The amount of love I have for that woman is difficult to measure. She has unflinchingly weathered through all of Jaxon's issues this year with total love, support and compassion. I felt humbled, once again, to be in such a fortunate position to have her as part of our lives. All of you know that sometimes the situations that our kids fall in to are not always ideal, and when Jaxon first entered school here in AZ, I was definitely NOT SURE that it was going to be a good situation. After Jaxon was situated in the "right place" he started to flourish and has grown so much.

I know that the reason for his fantastic growth and development is in large part to the wonderful support he receives from his therapists and teachers who love him and give every ounce of their patience and support to him.

I was completely caught off guard because when I saw her, I started to cry in realizing that she was not going to be a part of his daily life anymore. How was I going to live? Then they started playing, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" (the ukulele version) and I started to cry, and it wouldn't stop. I cried, and cried and cried.

Not because I was sad, but because I am so grateful to educators and therapists for what they do for Jaxon every day. I could not do it alone, and although I work with him lots at home, it is because they work with him even more at school and it is because all of us together work as a team to make sure he succeeds in this life.

At times, it is just so "part of my life" that I don't even think about it. It is just what I do, it is just what they do, it is just what "we" do. But yesterday, I realized that it isn't. And I am grateful beyond words for the time and effort they put into my son.

What is frustrating is that I don't know how to thank them. I don't know how to tell them how much they mean to me. I tried to tell them, and with all my tears yesterday, I am sure they know, but still. I wish there was some way to tell them the effect that they had on my son in the most critical years of his development. They will always hold a special place in my heart. I never want to let go.

Ms. Deffenbaugh, total angel.

Mrs. Boettcher, Inspired and perfect Special Ed teacher.

Jaxon holding his diploma. (Look for the tallest kid, of course)

And Jaxon's first love. I couldn't help it. Look for small, Latina, and purple dress. I think his depiction of her was pretty much spot on.

I took video on my cell phone of it all, but I can't seem to get it off my phone, and right now, it is killing me.


McB's said...

k you just made me cry, lol. how sweet to know that people love your/our kids and are willing to help them grow with all the patience in the world! to all the teachers who teach our kids...xoxo. :)

Danika said...

I tell Kevin all the time that pro athletes shouldn't be paid millions of dollars...teachers should! They are the ones educating (and sometimes just putting up with) our children.

Natalie said...

i thought that you were crying because it was the last day of school:). I love this. it's true, it takes a village!

Glennstew said...

So awesome! Congrats to all of you. But really, what's not to love?

Leah said...

I can TOTALLY relate. Somehow I shed a tear at every parent/teacher conference because I'm so overwhelmed with gratitude because of how they help my son.

jessica said...

I can only imagine...thanks for giving me a window into your world. I taught autistic kids for two was such a great experience. I always think about the day these kiddos will finally be able to say all the things that they couldn't say to all the people who loved them in this life. What amazing conversations those will be.


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