Bachelorette Re-Cap

First of all, I would like to apologize to Holly because I gave her a bad time last week for putting up her post so late, yet, here I am, putting up my post late! I am on vacation and balancing obligations with vacations is not that easy. So, SORRY HOLLY! By the way, her post last week was particularly hilarious and if you missed it, you need to go back and read it because it was way too funny.

Second, I would like to thank Hillary (my sister) for letting me watch the Bachelorette last night with her. (And Trevor) The pregnant lady stayed up late just so she could watch with me. And everyone knows it is more fun to watch the drama unfold with someone else! Especially someone who has the fantastic ability to balance things on their stomach.

I can balance plates, but she can balance remotes.

It was a pleasure Hills, thanks. While we watched the show, we also partook of Cupcakes from the SWEET TOOTH FAIRY. Most commonly cited HERE. They were good, my review will follow in a few days, but I think I am still partial to Sprinkles. Just sayin'.

Alright, let's start.

It became BLARINGLY clear last night as to why Ali dropped her job to do the Bachelorette. Yes, so she could "find love" Gah. But it was OBVIOUSLY so she could get a FREE TRIP around the world. I could have SERIOUSLY thought of MUCH BETTER places to go. How 'bout PARIS!, ROME! MONACO! GREECE! Apparently she has been all those places and decided to really "go crazy" (literally) and hit the beautiful and bizarre lands of Iceland and Turkey. I can seriously hear the phone call now. Ali: "The only way I would EVER do this is if I can go to whatever locations I want to film, and get LONG hair extensions, FAKE EYELASHES (were those driving anyone else crazy last night?) and a FREE WARDROBE that I get to keep. Oh, and a photoshoot for InStyle Magazine." Whatevs, Ali.

They really let the drama unfold quickly last night. With THE SCANDAL! Everyone knew about it, right? If you didn't. You have been living under a rock. But seriously. There were so many fabulous moments, the only way to capture them is via bullet point. What was to like more?

• the shakey action cam filming the phone call in the US? How cheap was that! [Producers: Hey, do you think you could get someone over there with a video camera to film you? Girls: Sure. We will have the THIRD girlfriend come!]
• the number of rings it took them to answer the phone? Did they think it was going to have more drama if they did more rings? Let's cut to the chase people!
• the "Snooki Poof" that the girlfriend was wearing? (If you don't know what that is, google it)
• the crusty Justin had on his face when Ali came in to the guys room, nothin' says, "I love you and I am INTO THIS like a big old, "I just woke up" crusty.
• Chris Harrison. (He gets a few of his OWN bullet points.)

1. Was it just me? Or did he look like he was about to bust up laughing at every minute?
2. I love how he jumped out of his seat to sit closer to her in case she needed to cry on his shoulder.
3. Did anyone else notice the finger to the forehead while he was listening? He was seriously craking me up.

• How about the way Justin was running away from the camera? Jumping over planters? WHAT? That seriously could not have been better even if they had said, "Okay Justin! Jump over those planters so you look like a COMPLETE idiot!"
• How 'bout the voicemails being played as he is running away. An awesome "touch". Classic. The whole show could have been just that and it would have been equally hilarious.

Okay, I have had enough of Justin. And you?

Let' s move on to the bad hair week that Craig R was having. Did anyone notice the doofus (is that how you would spell it?) he looked like at the VERY beginning of the show when EVERY SINGLE GUY was wearing a hat, and he was wearing his a LITTLE too far back on his head ala farmer Joe? Not a good look man, not a good look.

How about the several times he was shot with actual hat head. Like he had just taken that hat off and all of his hair was pressed flat to his head. I am sorry, but throughout the WHOLE THING, Craig R. was looking worse and worse and Chris L was lookin' better and BETTER!

Craig R. never made it out of the "friendzone" as my sister was calling it and Ali's body language was CLEAR as CRYSTAL. Sorry Craig, whatever "connection" you thought you guys were having was um, non-existent. You could tell by all of the "fake laughing" Ali was doing during their date. Nothin', nada, NO CHEMISTRY. He still gives the most hilarious takes, and although I really liked him (aside from the hats and hair) he was outta there.

I am sorry, I know there are a LOT of Ty lovers out there. And YOU CAN HAVE HIM! Those turned out feet, that BIG HONKIN' MEDALLION that looks like a Transformer shield or something, the little black ankle socks he was wearing? Sorry Ya'll. I still don't get it. Just don't. Everything he said was CHEEZY. But even with all that, he COMPLETELY SHOT HIMSELF IN THE FOOT by saying, "Yeah, I divorced my wife because she loved her job and didn't want to be barefoot and pregnant." Oh, you didn't hear him say that? WELL HE DID! He totally did. It sounded like he was sayin' a whole lotta nuthin' but if you listened to him long enough, that is exactly what he was saying. He was just trying to say it so Ali wouldn't notice because she was OBVIOUSLY dedicated to her career. At the end, he tried to patch it all up by saying, "But, I don't feel that way anymore." huh.

Let's move on to Frank. Let me start by saying that there has never been a season of the Bachelorette where the guys have sat around and chatted like a bunch catty little girls more, and it cracks me up. I mean, Frank actually said, "He is the kind of guy you would date, but not the kind of guy I want to marry." He REALLY DID SAY, "I WANT TO MARRY". (Okay, I am pretty sure, but I don't have time to rewind it now, but that is what I wrote down) Which reminds me that Hillary's gaydar has gone off more than once in association with Frank and after seeing him in that white tank and brown sweater (which seems to be his only outfit) several times, I am starting to side with Hillary. That, and that he bought the weatherman's jacket in army green .. and we all know where the weatherman stands. Not to mention the EXTREMELY WUSSY BEARD, which I cannot believe he hasn't shaved ONCE. Give me a break! Can't you shave JUST ONCE? Did anyone else notice the background music for the date with Frank? Choir of angels? Really? I think that was going a little far. I know they were just trying to build up for the drama with next week, but it was really, really too much.

Speaking of the Drama for next week. If you go back to week ONE with Frank, he has always talked about how into Ali he is and blah blah blah. But he said, REAL things ABOUT Ali and about how much he liked her and was into her. Justin NEVER said things about Ali, he just said things like, I am here for the "right reasons" etc. But never personalized it. In my book, that makes Frank a BIGGER jerk for going that much further and taking up that much more of her time and "going there" with her. I know it didn't say exactly WHAT Frank's big issue is, but I think we all know where it is going. . . . He is in love with the Weatherman.

I don't have much more to say about last nights episode other than.

I like Chris in oil.

and

Trevor thinks you should never trust an insurance salesman named Roberto.