Thursday, April 15, 2010

From One Mother to Another


I am guessing it is mostly women that read my blog. Prove me wrong.

So, I just wanted to take a minute to talk about m'boy Jaxon. (On the left)

Most of you know, he is Autistic.


Unlike other Autistic children he LOVES being around people.


LOVES.


The problem is, he doesn't always know how to act or what to say. Or, worse, he might say, or do something inappropriate.


If so, I am sorry.


VERY sorry.


I wish I could change it.


Believe me.


I wish I could.


Please accept my apology if he does something not appropriate.


But, will you do one other thing for me?


Talk to your child.


Talk to your child about children who are different.

He didn't choose to be different.

Tell your child that even though he is "different" you should still try to be nice.


Tell your child that even though you might think he is "weird" there are people in his world who love him. Dearly.


Tell your child that if they don't want to play with him, that is ok. But, try not to be mean to him.


Because, he still has feelings.



And he still wants to have friends.


Tell your child, especially your older children, to never hurt anyone physically.


Just because they might be bugging you.


Chances are, they are younger than you think they are and they don't quite understand what they should be doing.


Because his mom can't stand guard his whole life.


Sometimes, he is going to be on his own.


And I worry about him.


So, please tell teach your children about TOLERANCE.


For me.


Thanks.

16 comments:

natalieandherboys said...

Lindsey- We absolutely LOVE Jaxon! My Jack has truly enjoyed being in the same class as him this year. I sincerely hope and pray that my Jack has never said anything mean to him, and if he has, please let me know because tolerance is definitely one thing I really want my kids to learn and understand. I personally have never heard Jack say anything mean about Jaxon, but he did say that Jaxon kissed a girl in their class!! too cute!! As a mom, you just hope that your child is as nice to others as they seem to be to you... I know Jaxon has made great strides this year. I have seen it myself the times I have helped in class. He will continue to grow and I know with you as his mom, you will help him reach his full potential! You are awesome!

McB's said...

K it's funny that you write this because there is another boy in our ward that Kassidy is around sometimes because i'm friends with the mom and she brings up some of the things he has done to her like pull her hair or throw wipes all over her and the car and she's not being mean, she just says "remember when Hayden did that" and I say every time, "yes I do and it's ok because he doesn't know better, he's not being mean". So she asked me the other day why he didn't know better and I really struggled with what to explain to a 4 year old without sounding like he has problems, cuz it's not problems, it's just special challenges and it's just him and it's OK. So tell me what you would want someone to say about your child that is loving, kind and appropriate for that age...

On a side note: I'm truly glad I've met you and your kids, you are a great mom :)

Laurie said...

I just had to leave a comment here cause oh how my heart breaks when something mean happens to any of my kids!! But I was so proud of my little Adia the other day, they have a new autistic boy in their class who I guess is a bit of a handful for the teacher, anyways, she sent a note home saying how kind and helpful Adia has been to him! It did my heart good that she could see past differences and just know he needed a friend.

calibosmom said...

You got it! Tolerance is a big deal in our home. We have all sorts, sizes and shapes on both sides of our family so we know about being kind to everyone. It can be hard to always be nice but its extremely important. Thanks for the reminder.

Shanakin Skywalker said...

I wanted to give you the link to my friend's blog. She has a son with autism. Her blog just went private, but please send her a request to read, and I will send her a link to yours. She would really enjoy knowing you. http://clowardsworldofautism.blogspot.com
I don't have any autistic kids, but have the same feelings on a weekly basis with one of my sons that doesn't fit in anywhere with his peers. It's okay that they don't like him and I don't think they should have to hang out with him, but is it too much to ask for them just not to me mean? I have had conversations with parents about it, and it seems the modern way to deal with kids and their peers is very hands-off. They won't ever get involved and teach their kids to be kind. Very strange... I don't get it. Disappointing. I just want you to know that I DO teach my kids about tolerance and kindness to kids they don't understand. I think I'm raising kids that seek out the picked-on kid and find joy in being nice to them. If there's a blessing that comes from being left out, it's empathy.

liz said...

:( It makes me sad to think of someone being mean to him.

Emily said...

okay so i should have clarified....i don't mind people that are trying to get there OWN things going, i just don't like all the craft blogs FULL of them with no crafts.

also your post today made me cry, why are people mean, i hope as a mom i can teach my children not only tolerance but understanding and kindness too-

sistersue said...

Your post broke my heart because I remember when my boys were little and they would get picked on because they were wierd. I tried to educate people I knew about autism and what it was and wasn't and that helped some. My family was my greatest support and still is. My son's best friends were their cousins. Thank you for helping to educate others, it will not only help your son but others with autism also.

sistersue said...

I linked your post to my blog www.puzzledbyautism.blogspot.com. I just realized that I should have asked permission first. Go to my blog and check it out and leave a comment. If it's not OK I'll remove it. Thanks.

The Grant Family said...

Definietly a lesson that can be repeated over and over with the kids, and I hope when I'm not around they remember as well! We have a neighbor with autism and my son thinks it's cool how he focuses on certain things and becomes an expert on them. He was impressed by his great knowledge. On the other hand he's often puzzled by some of his other behavior. I'll continue to teach my children love and tolerance. (((hugs))) Lindsey and Jaxon!

Gabi said...

Heartbreaking. It is hard to watch our little (and not-so-little, in my case) guys struggle, isn't it?

All I know is that I have learned more from my Jake than I could've possibly imagined. These kids teach us so much.

Thank you for putting it so simply and perfectly.

Mary said...

Touching and well written post! I love it!

jessica said...

My kids have been taught and will continue to be taught not only tolerance but also love and acceptance.

I've said it before and I will say it again and again....Jaxon has an AWESOME mom!

Natalie said...

So i have been too tired to comment and out of town briefly. but geez a girl checks out and what does she miss? giveaways and a birthday! Happy very belated b-day. i hope your day was fantastic and full of cupcake delight.

I loved this post. I just finished reading a book about a boy with asperger's. In the beginning of the book there was a line that i appreciated. The mom was talking about one of her son's episodes in public. she says "My biggest hope for Jacob is that moments like this won't happen. My biggest fear: that they will, and i won't always be there to keep people from thinking the worst of him." I think this is where we come in as moms and women and humans on this earth. BE KIND. No matter the situation. BE KIND. Christ came, lead by example, suffered, and experienced all so that we could live in love and acceptance. i try really hard to teach my kids that it's not our job to be the judge. Christ will take care of that. But it is our job to love always as HE showed us.

Christi said...

Lindsey, Thanks for this post and for sharing it with me- it made me cry because they are my exact thoughts! I don't think Lucas is as sever as Jaxson, but many of the stuggles are the same. You and I have never really been close as cousins, but I am grateful that thanks to Facebook, etc I like to think that I have gotten to know you better! Thanks for sharing this- maybe our boys can play together at the next family reunion!!!

Christi said...

Meant to say severe... sorry!

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