Bachelorette Re-Cap

First of all, I would like to apologize to Holly because I gave her a bad time last week for putting up her post so late, yet, here I am, putting up my post late! I am on vacation and balancing obligations with vacations is not that easy. So, SORRY HOLLY! By the way, her post last week was particularly hilarious and if you missed it, you need to go back and read it because it was way too funny.

Second, I would like to thank Hillary (my sister) for letting me watch the Bachelorette last night with her. (And Trevor) The pregnant lady stayed up late just so she could watch with me. And everyone knows it is more fun to watch the drama unfold with someone else! Especially someone who has the fantastic ability to balance things on their stomach.

I can balance plates, but she can balance remotes.

It was a pleasure Hills, thanks. While we watched the show, we also partook of Cupcakes from the SWEET TOOTH FAIRY. Most commonly cited HERE. They were good, my review will follow in a few days, but I think I am still partial to Sprinkles. Just sayin'.

Alright, let's start.

It became BLARINGLY clear last night as to why Ali dropped her job to do the Bachelorette. Yes, so she could "find love" Gah. But it was OBVIOUSLY so she could get a FREE TRIP around the world. I could have SERIOUSLY thought of MUCH BETTER places to go. How 'bout PARIS!, ROME! MONACO! GREECE! Apparently she has been all those places and decided to really "go crazy" (literally) and hit the beautiful and bizarre lands of Iceland and Turkey. I can seriously hear the phone call now. Ali: "The only way I would EVER do this is if I can go to whatever locations I want to film, and get LONG hair extensions, FAKE EYELASHES (were those driving anyone else crazy last night?) and a FREE WARDROBE that I get to keep. Oh, and a photoshoot for InStyle Magazine." Whatevs, Ali.

They really let the drama unfold quickly last night. With THE SCANDAL! Everyone knew about it, right? If you didn't. You have been living under a rock. But seriously. There were so many fabulous moments, the only way to capture them is via bullet point. What was to like more?

• the shakey action cam filming the phone call in the US? How cheap was that! [Producers: Hey, do you think you could get someone over there with a video camera to film you? Girls: Sure. We will have the THIRD girlfriend come!]
• the number of rings it took them to answer the phone? Did they think it was going to have more drama if they did more rings? Let's cut to the chase people!
• the "Snooki Poof" that the girlfriend was wearing? (If you don't know what that is, google it)
• the crusty Justin had on his face when Ali came in to the guys room, nothin' says, "I love you and I am INTO THIS like a big old, "I just woke up" crusty.
• Chris Harrison. (He gets a few of his OWN bullet points.)

1. Was it just me? Or did he look like he was about to bust up laughing at every minute?
2. I love how he jumped out of his seat to sit closer to her in case she needed to cry on his shoulder.
3. Did anyone else notice the finger to the forehead while he was listening? He was seriously craking me up.

• How about the way Justin was running away from the camera? Jumping over planters? WHAT? That seriously could not have been better even if they had said, "Okay Justin! Jump over those planters so you look like a COMPLETE idiot!"
• How 'bout the voicemails being played as he is running away. An awesome "touch". Classic. The whole show could have been just that and it would have been equally hilarious.

Okay, I have had enough of Justin. And you?

Let' s move on to the bad hair week that Craig R was having. Did anyone notice the doofus (is that how you would spell it?) he looked like at the VERY beginning of the show when EVERY SINGLE GUY was wearing a hat, and he was wearing his a LITTLE too far back on his head ala farmer Joe? Not a good look man, not a good look.

How about the several times he was shot with actual hat head. Like he had just taken that hat off and all of his hair was pressed flat to his head. I am sorry, but throughout the WHOLE THING, Craig R. was looking worse and worse and Chris L was lookin' better and BETTER!

Craig R. never made it out of the "friendzone" as my sister was calling it and Ali's body language was CLEAR as CRYSTAL. Sorry Craig, whatever "connection" you thought you guys were having was um, non-existent. You could tell by all of the "fake laughing" Ali was doing during their date. Nothin', nada, NO CHEMISTRY. He still gives the most hilarious takes, and although I really liked him (aside from the hats and hair) he was outta there.

I am sorry, I know there are a LOT of Ty lovers out there. And YOU CAN HAVE HIM! Those turned out feet, that BIG HONKIN' MEDALLION that looks like a Transformer shield or something, the little black ankle socks he was wearing? Sorry Ya'll. I still don't get it. Just don't. Everything he said was CHEEZY. But even with all that, he COMPLETELY SHOT HIMSELF IN THE FOOT by saying, "Yeah, I divorced my wife because she loved her job and didn't want to be barefoot and pregnant." Oh, you didn't hear him say that? WELL HE DID! He totally did. It sounded like he was sayin' a whole lotta nuthin' but if you listened to him long enough, that is exactly what he was saying. He was just trying to say it so Ali wouldn't notice because she was OBVIOUSLY dedicated to her career. At the end, he tried to patch it all up by saying, "But, I don't feel that way anymore." huh.

Let's move on to Frank. Let me start by saying that there has never been a season of the Bachelorette where the guys have sat around and chatted like a bunch catty little girls more, and it cracks me up. I mean, Frank actually said, "He is the kind of guy you would date, but not the kind of guy I want to marry." He REALLY DID SAY, "I WANT TO MARRY". (Okay, I am pretty sure, but I don't have time to rewind it now, but that is what I wrote down) Which reminds me that Hillary's gaydar has gone off more than once in association with Frank and after seeing him in that white tank and brown sweater (which seems to be his only outfit) several times, I am starting to side with Hillary. That, and that he bought the weatherman's jacket in army green .. and we all know where the weatherman stands. Not to mention the EXTREMELY WUSSY BEARD, which I cannot believe he hasn't shaved ONCE. Give me a break! Can't you shave JUST ONCE? Did anyone else notice the background music for the date with Frank? Choir of angels? Really? I think that was going a little far. I know they were just trying to build up for the drama with next week, but it was really, really too much.

Speaking of the Drama for next week. If you go back to week ONE with Frank, he has always talked about how into Ali he is and blah blah blah. But he said, REAL things ABOUT Ali and about how much he liked her and was into her. Justin NEVER said things about Ali, he just said things like, I am here for the "right reasons" etc. But never personalized it. In my book, that makes Frank a BIGGER jerk for going that much further and taking up that much more of her time and "going there" with her. I know it didn't say exactly WHAT Frank's big issue is, but I think we all know where it is going. . . . He is in love with the Weatherman.

I don't have much more to say about last nights episode other than.

I like Chris in oil.

and

Trevor thinks you should never trust an insurance salesman named Roberto.

I've Been Featured!

Ah, that feels good.

Isn't it nice when something you've done gets noticed?

Yeah, it's nice.

#14. Chef for a Day

I've Been Featured!

I have been put to shame

Last night was the Bachelorette.

When I sat down to watch it at 8:01 p.m. (because that is the SPLIT SECOND after my kids go to bed) I found out something HORRIBLE.

Abby had cancelled my Bachelorette Timer to record Kitchen Wars or something like that. (I told you. . . Foodie) and I was livid.

I work hard people.

All day.

With 4 kids.

20 loads of freakin' laundry.

cleaning up the 200 messes that K makes, (okay, I usually only clean up 50 and leave the other 150)

Driving kids to camp, swimming, going to the gym, and lessons.

And DANG IT.

I just want to come home and watch my show IN PEACE AND QUIET at 8:01 p.m.

I got mad. Very mad.

Went down to my husband and cried about my lost show.

(Seriously I did- It musta been a long day)

And you know what?

He felt bad for me.

It was nice.

That someone would feel bad for me.

Because really, don't we all look forward to that one little reward at the end of the day?

Yours might be ice cream.

Mine is the Bachelorette. (and cookie dough)

TomaTOE, TomATO.

It reminds me of another little rant of mine. An oldie, but a goodie.

Speaking of the BACHELORETTE. You MUST go read Holly's Post. It is her week to re-cap this week and MAN, it was hilarious. She put me to shame.

You can check out the comments if you want my take. But really, Holly's is completely perfect in every way.

The Oldest

I had a lot of assumptions of who my eldest child would be.


-A boy
-Type A
-Go Getter


I was pretty much dead wrong on all accounts.

Of course this was all before she was born.

* Courtesy of Sarah Goodman Photography

NOW, I know that she is easy going (as long as she isn't too tired), a great eater (foodie), creative, free spirit that doesn't have a type A bone in her body. And those half moon eyes. . . those half moon eyes are her signature to the world. Love 'em. The one thing she is and will always be by name is her father's joy. Which is what Abigail means.

Sometimes that little free spirit clashes with her Type A mommy, but as of late, I have been enjoying it more and more. I love her creative and artisitc spirit and think that she is loads of fun.

Yesterday, I spent 6 hours at a pool, watching glittery little things walking around and dipping in and out of the water. Twirling arms and legs treading fast and furious. She fulfilled a life long dream of mine, and whomever my aquatics partner of the moment was. (Usually, Hillary or Stacy). She was in a Synchronized Swimming Event and won first place. (They may have been the only "rec" team participating, but who is counting right?) My sisters and I would spend hours upon hours choreographing our routines in the pool. NONE of which were as good as Abby's today. You can see her performance HERE.

Since that moment, I have heard nothing but, Synchro this and Synchro that. I think we have more Synchro in our future.

It is a whole new world of "knoxing", bobbypins, sequins and water. And it is all fine by me. Really, it is. I couldn't have enjoyed myself more at that pool. Okay, I would have enjoyed it more if I were IN the pool on a FLOAT. But, it was still great. Synchro, Synchro away.

Bachelorette Re-Cap

Okay, so, if you haven't figured it out by NOW, I am re-capping these episodes with some of my other Bachelorette Besties.

Holly was supposed to re-cap last nights episode, but her DVR didn't cooperate.

So, Jeanelle, who was supposed to do NEXT week, is doing it this week.

Don't worry, I still give my two cents on Jeanelle's comment section. Enjoy!

Irrational Fears

People have irrational fears.

Some revolve around garbage disposals, (not naming names)

Some revolve around bugs,

Some revolve around leaving electrical appliances on (ahem)

Some revolve around just about anything.

A long time ago, I found out that Wade was scared of SPIDERS.

And if you were annoyed by my post yesterday about my ridiculously cute and smart child,

you can now be put at ease, because he DEFINITELY has issues.


He is afraid of Spiders,

He is afraid of heights (seriously acrophobic)

and now, I am certain he is either afraid of rodents(who isn't)

or Zu Zu pet knock offs.

My Buddy and Me

I have a buddy.

He hangs out with me all day long.

He likes to hang out with me.

And I like to have him with me.
He is cute,


He is smart,

and he is funny.

And USUALLY super nice.

You would like him.

I don't wanna gloat (mkay, I kinda do), but he is 3, and he is reading.
Yup, reading.

*You can tell by the "How old are you" question, he is not a genius, he just REALLY wanted to learn how to read when I practise with Jaxon. This is how far we have gotten.

The Bachelorette Episode 3 Re-Cap

I am sooooooooooooo sorry it took me so long to get to this post! I wasn't able to watch the show until late last night, and as I was watching it, I thought to myself, "I need to be taking notes, because, I will never remember all the stuff I am thinking!" But, since I was in bed, with the covers up to my head, I never did get that note pad. So, I had to watch it all over AGAIN this morning, and take notes while I was watching so I didn't miss anything. Because, honey, you don't want to miss ANYTHING! It was just as funny, if not more the second time around too!

I was trying to decide HOW to re-cap when I was taking notes, because, let's face it, there are lots of options there. But then, a "theme" started to appear in my notes, so, we will go with a theme today, categorized by person. And the theme is going to be,

"PLEASE DON'T"

Let's start with Chris L. I guess, because I didn't load these up in any particular order! Chris L., Please don't get rid of that Boston Accent, it is endearing, and so are those pecks! (whoa).

Chris N, (Ryan Sutter look-a-like) Please don't ever wear those ugly 80's sunglasses EVER AGAIN! Oh wait, maybe you and Ali would look like an awesome 80's couple with your ugly glasses and her off the shoulder shirt.

Craig R., Please don't stop giving your take on every scene. They are always spot on. The producers obviously love them because you are pretty much the only one they put on there with your personal take, but I love 'em too, so, it is okay. I hear there is a job opening at American Idol. Think about it.

Frank, PLEASE DON'T wear that ugly beard anymore! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! It is not manly, it is SCRAWNY! I thought I told you that last week, but I guess you weren't listening. Please check Holly's blog next week for further instructions as I will be sure to leave more nasty comments about it. Oh, and one other thing, please don't wear your glasses on the top of your head unless they are sunglasses. It isn't cool. Oh, and sorry about this, but ONE MORE THING. Please don't ever ever EVER dance on national television again. You will thank me for that one. (Did anyone else catch that? Horrible)

Hunter, please don't wear your seat belt under your arm pit (I think it is the same shirt you have on in this picture) like a four year old. Just endure the wrinkles, okay? And although I LOVED having a Manny, please don't tell Ali that you want to be one on your first date. Your lack of ambition MIGHT be a turn off to Ali. I am just sayin'.

Beefcake, I mean, Jesse, Please don't wear a jean shirt AND jeans at the same time. You would have been better off with just the black shirt, and where was your suit anyway? You were at a ROSE CEREMONY! You shoulda looked your best! You were barely even on this episode... which probably means your beefcake ways aren't cuttin' it man.

John C., Please don't wonder aloud if Ali even knows your name, because you know what? She doesn't. Was that take of them in the bathtub too hilarious? Did you see his face when she got out? How about his face after he talked about his scene. Too much. Guess why they didn't re-do that take John, because it was JUST LIKE REAL LIFE! Sionara .

Weatherman, I love that that is what EVERYONE calls him. Jonathan, PLEASE DON'T say "Bare Naked Ladies" again. It looks bad coming out of your mouth. Please don't wear ANOTHER zippered jacket. Did you raid MJ's closet at Neverland Ranch? (Thanks Jeanelle! I was so tired last night I almost missed it!) And Please don't make EVERY interaction you have with Ali SO STINKIN' UNCOMFORTABLE! Geesh. Nothing says, "I'm uncomfortable" like wiggly scratchy fingers on the back after a kiss. Blech.

Justin, Please don't wear that ugly soul patch anymore. Because you have no soul. And PLEASE quit trying to get us to think you are a decent guy, because, we know you're not.

Kasey, Please don't talk anymore. It makes me want to clear my throat. And from the looks of it, it looks like you should keep your singing to yourself too.
Kirk, Please don't consider a career change into adult f*lms (don't want any google hits) because your romp on the video set was "so real". You acted like it was a bit too natural bud. Sorry.
ROBERTO, Please don't STOP being you, because you have got this in the BAG BABY! Kissing in the air was a GREAT idea, and I don't know if it was staged (okay, it was) but when you guys were looking into the sunset and you said, "I really want to see a lot more of these with you" I don't know what Ali was thinking, but I was pretty sure I would marry him. And that kissing? While laying down? I am pretty sure he was "feelin' it" because I SURE AS HECK WAS! (Okay, TMI, but you all know you were thinkin' it) Ps- Multi -LINGUAL esta muey S*XY!
Steve, Please don't get upset, but your helmet head would turn anyone off. Consider a new hair route. The picnic at the rose ceremony was cute, but too little too late. And please don't tell girls you have "fragile hands". Girls want TOUGH hands. BE TOUGH! (And please don't try to open a bottle of champagne on your own again)
Ty, please don't wear this ruffly shirt you have on in this picture EVER AGAIN unless you are in a Lawrence Welk skit on SNL. (Okay, I can see now that it is actually embroidered, but STILL!) And please don't wear that big medallion thingy again. It screams, "I HAVE NO FASHION SENSE OR DIGNITY!".

Was that it? Wow, that went by too fast! But I am forgetting one person.

ALI-

Please don't wear any more 80's clothes! It was NOT the most flattering decade. Please don't guffaw anymore when you are about to give someone a rose (ala Roberto's date) and PLEASE DON'T talk about how you know how it will "be" with someone when you are cuddling. Weird. And TMI.

K-thanks! Hope you enjoyed! Stop my Holly's blog next week for a re-cap post!

Kaylie-BUG

Kaylie is a hard baby. We added bug to her name because she is. She is a bug. You know, a pest. Sometimes her name is shortened all the way to BUG. Like, "Hey, Bug, How ya doin'?" I call her that so much that even Wade calls her Kaylie bug, or K-bug. Believe me, it has turned into a term of endearment, and I think it is going to stick.

Little K-bug has had a big month! She got her first haircut. It involved bribery with a Popsicle. There is a bit of an issue with the giant cow-lick in the front, and the one in the back that goes the other way. But, I just trimmed the bottom and made it into a bob. I think we are going to have to just have one length hair for the duration of her life. :)

I think it turned out pretty cute.


And the other "milestone" is moving to the "big table" and sitting with everyone else at a meal. . . . . Oh wait, AND learning how to lick your plate.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Syrup.

I have no idea where she learned this trick, but I am thinking. . .

Abby.

I cried the ugly cry.

Yesterday was the last day of school. The day BEFORE yesterday, I was trying to find someone who could watch my kids while I went to the dentist. One friend said, "I have to go to Kindergarten Graduation", and then I remembered,

I DO TOO!


I immediately checked the time of the "graduation" and it was at exactly the same time as my dental appointment. That was NOT going to work. So, I cancelled the appointment and prepared myself to fight with two non-stationary kids during a kindergarten graduation the next day.



The next day came and my husband was home sick! Perfect! Now I can go hands free to the graduation! (I am sure he was thrilled). Anywho, I entered the auditorium and sat down. After a few minutes of waiting I saw Jaxon's teacher enter the room. The amount of love I have for that woman is difficult to measure. She has unflinchingly weathered through all of Jaxon's issues this year with total love, support and compassion. I felt humbled, once again, to be in such a fortunate position to have her as part of our lives. All of you know that sometimes the situations that our kids fall in to are not always ideal, and when Jaxon first entered school here in AZ, I was definitely NOT SURE that it was going to be a good situation. After Jaxon was situated in the "right place" he started to flourish and has grown so much.



I know that the reason for his fantastic growth and development is in large part to the wonderful support he receives from his therapists and teachers who love him and give every ounce of their patience and support to him.


I was completely caught off guard because when I saw her, I started to cry in realizing that she was not going to be a part of his daily life anymore. How was I going to live? Then they started playing, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" (the ukulele version) and I started to cry, and it wouldn't stop. I cried, and cried and cried.


Not because I was sad, but because I am so grateful to educators and therapists for what they do for Jaxon every day. I could not do it alone, and although I work with him lots at home, it is because they work with him even more at school and it is because all of us together work as a team to make sure he succeeds in this life.


At times, it is just so "part of my life" that I don't even think about it. It is just what I do, it is just what they do, it is just what "we" do. But yesterday, I realized that it isn't. And I am grateful beyond words for the time and effort they put into my son.


What is frustrating is that I don't know how to thank them. I don't know how to tell them how much they mean to me. I tried to tell them, and with all my tears yesterday, I am sure they know, but still. I wish there was some way to tell them the effect that they had on my son in the most critical years of his development. They will always hold a special place in my heart. I never want to let go.

Ms. Deffenbaugh, total angel.

Mrs. Boettcher, Inspired and perfect Special Ed teacher.

Jaxon holding his diploma. (Look for the tallest kid, of course)

And Jaxon's first love. I couldn't help it. Look for small, Latina, and purple dress. I think his depiction of her was pretty much spot on.

I took video on my cell phone of it all, but I can't seem to get it off my phone, and right now, it is killing me.

The Bachelorette Re-Cap

I know, I know. You are all waiting for my re-cap. Seriously, I soooooooooooooooooo wanted to re-cap last night's show, because it was awesome on so many levels. I even saved it because I might have to watch it again if I am bored today, which is not going to happen, but I hope it does.

If you didn't catch it, I am team re-capping this season with Jeanelle and Holly. They are my favorite re-cap girls and we all seemed to have been saying the same things last season so, we decided to try it.

I still get to have my say in her comments though, and you better believe that I did after last night's show, so please feel free to hop on over and check it out! :)