Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Delusional Motherhood

Today I was sick. I mean, flu, yuk sick. It stunk. The worst part was, I had to take care of two kids while I was sick. It made is stink even worse. It was a long, long, long, tiresome day. But, it is over.

I was thinking how "hard" Kaylin has been. You know, she is not sleeping through the night. . . Ok, she does on occasion, but then wakes up at 5:00 a.m. It is killing me. I am tired. I would love to consider getting my body back, but I am so stinkin' tired, I don't even know what to do with myself. The funny thing is. . I was sitting here thinking that Kaylin is definitely my hardest baby. D.E.F.I.N.I.T.E.L.Y. I mean, she is soooooooooooo high maintenance!!!

She is starting to want to get up on all fours, and I was trying to remember when my other kids got up on all 4's, so I ventured into Abby's room to get her baby calendar. Yep, I did one of those. . . for my FIRST child. Anyone out there do one for a second child? If you did, you are my idol. Seriously.

I started to read it, and started to laugh. . out loud because I have basically no memory of Abby. Ok, well, I do, but not exactly as I had written it down. I remember she had a hard time going to sleep. . Like, she would cry . . FOREVER! An hour! Sometimes 2!! If she could hear me and Peter (in our 800 sq.ft. apartment) or see any light under the door, she would SCREAM! She hated going to bed because she felt like she was going to miss the party. . (Um, not too much unlike she is now). Anywho. ..

Her calendar goes like this:

April 7th: Naps were a struggle again today. I think you are teething and growing!
April 11th: You wanted to stay up late tonight!
April 12th: You have been waking up at 5:00 a.m.! Mommy doesn't like it!
(There were entries on the days in between the 12th and the 19th but they had nothing to do with sleep deprivation, so, I am omitting them)
April 19th: You did not want to take an afternoon nap today! You cried for 2 hours!

Under Your Habits I put: You don't like going to bed, you think crawling is awesome and you growl when you eat!

Now, if you would have asked me, I would have said she woke up at 6 or 6:30. . . and that she was an excellent baby on a great schedule. . . The truth of the matter is, she struggled with nap time and woke up too early and cried for an hour every night before going to bed.

Delusional Motherhood.

It is why we do it again, right? Well, I am here to state that I WILL NOT BE DOING IT AGAIN, and I am trying sooooooooooooooo hard to enjoy this baby, but the truth of the matter is: I AM SO TIRED it is hard to. . . I am just too old for this biz, and if you were to read Kaylin's "calendar" (which I am not doing) it would read:

August 29th: You woke up at the crack of dawn. I am exhausted
August 30st: You woke up at 3:00 a.m. and then decided to wake up at 6:00 a.m. for the day. I need more sleep.
September 1st: I have no idea what day it is and I am losing my mind over sleep deprivation.
September 2nd. I am sick as a dog, and can barely handle myself, let alone a baby and a 2 year old. . . Calgon take me away.

There you have it folks! I have spent the last few weeks reading about how you all are home alone all day and having nothing to do. . and let me tell you. . I am ready to join your ranks! (In like, 5 years. . . )


cher said...

Love this post - because it's SOOO true! Wait... why am I up?! Oh wait. It's cause my baby is too. :)

Poor little dude's got a fever.

The Grant Family said...

So, so true. I think our first babies weren't any easier, we were just young enough to handle it better. These babies in the 30's are sooo much harder! Hang in there. Eventually they do sleep. Oh wait, wasn't it my SEVEN year old who came and stood by my bedside last night???? Yes it was! Well, maybe before they go to college ;)

Natalie said...

I am in the same rank as you if it makes you feel any better:). Hope your flu is gone forever. that is the worst!!!Have a better day and maybe a nap:)?!?!?!

Leah said...

There is nothing more important in life than sleep. I hope you drop everything else and catch up when you can! Yes, that means a messy house and cold cereal for dinner because mom needs some afternoon naps. I am headed to bed right now. I take a nap every day when I can. Every day. And I let the kids run around wild. I say it makes me a better girlfriend for my husband at night if I've had a nap!

jessica said...

What's up with Leah's " I can be a good girlfriend to my husband" comment. Dang she has one lucky husband! My guy is lucky if he gets dinner let alone "girlfriend" time! I sure love that Leah even though she makes me feel like a LOUSEY wifey.

Babies are cute but soooo hard! I know this stage will pass and I don't want to miss the good parts but I am so tired of being tired all the time!

Ilene said...

I hope you soon have an entry reporting that you baby slept all night and you felt great!

Leah said...

Okay, so my husband does not get an awesome girlfriend every night. And especially when I had a baby!

About your comment on my blog...I did not feel the way I do now when my kids were your kids' ages. The first 2 years of having 4 kids were REALLY rough. Let's just say you have a lot to look forward to because kids only get better and better with age! ;)

Leah said...

Oops...I should say easier with age.

Melissa-Mc said...

So sorry. The mom should never be allowed to be sick! I don't have babies anymore, but I do have 2 preschoolers. Everything is harder when you are not getting a good night's sleep.

Lindsay said...

I feel ya sister. I wish I could help but I'm living my own form of delusional over here. BUT if you need to come to Forida for a little RNR I'm only a phone call away!

sarah goodman said...

CRACKED up reading gets easier as they get older...NOT...i end up having half of my family in my bed when i wake up in the morning....sheesh! aidan is like the family dog (we don't have one)...he is always at the foot of our bed every morning! :)


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