Saturday, March 15, 2008

The Middle Man

Jaxon is a blessing . . . in so many ways. Yes, it is challenging to have a child with Autism, (and overwhelming, frustrating, horrifying, scary, debilitating, enlightening, refreshing, and fun) but my husband and I were out to dinner last night and we realized that Jaxon provides us with something that we probably would have NEVER had if we didn't have him and that is: A simple and pure outlook of success.

Success is measured so differently when you have a child with Autism. With our older daughter, we are frustrated when she doesn't get 100% on a spelling test that she aced at home. . . with Jaxon, we will be THRILLED if we can teach him how to read. With Wade . . . we want him to go to school and have a career! With Jaxon, we will be thrilled if he can get a job at McDonald's.

Now, before you get up in arms about the low-expectations we have for Jaxon. It really isn't that way, it is just that we have been released from ANY expectation. The NATURAL expectation that you have for your kids... it is just not there with Jaxon. I am sure he WILL be able to do the things that I mentioned (read, get a job) but, it is a blessing to just feel grateful for what he DOES accomplish . . instead of having expectations for your children that they may or may not accomplish. You know, we ALL have them. But it is nice to NOT have them for Jaxon.

I would like to think that our Heavenly Father looks at us more the way we look at Jaxon, instead of the way everyone thinks He He is disappointed when we don't 'measure up' to His expectations for us. Maybe He is just thrilled with what we DO learn, and what we DO accomplish. Of course, He always wants more for us, but probably doesn't hang it over our heads.

It is just a different outlook on life, success and expectations. Without him, we wouldn't have that. Thank you Jaxon: we love you.

PS- That big giant chair that you see Jaxon sitting it, yeah, the one that looks like it came from your Grandma's house? Well, it did. And it graces Peter's MAN ROOM.


Jessica said...

I love what I learn from bloggers. With so many people, with so many different issues, I hope it's broadened my mind and made me more compassionate.

Thanks for sharing.

Natalie said...

I really loved this post and love your blog. You left a comment on Jessica's blog and said that you used My Publisher. Do they do blog books? I have used them before for photo books and LOVE if they do blogs, I will be in heaven! if you get a chance, please let me know. Thanks!

Kara said...

Thanks for posting this. Some good points to think about for someone who has far too many expectations for herself and her children.

Brianna said...

It is helpful for those of us not living in a world of autism to get a glimpse of it through experienced eyes. Thanks for sharing. Also, I'm sure you know about it, but just in case, here's a new article from Newsweek that you might find interesting:

Mique (as in M-i-c-k-e-y) said...

I toally hear you on this one. I agree 10000%. It's amazing how it all comes into perspective when you get a special kiddo like Jaxon.
This is so well written. And I love the clip of him at the end!

calibosmom said...

Rock on Jaxon! Thank you for reminding me to just love my children for who they are and not what I expect them to be.

gab said...

Great thoughts. I agree. I have learned so much from my special guy. Some days are so hard. But he has made me a much kinder, softer person.

Lindsay said...

OHohhhhOHHHH Pirates! Shiver me timbers Jaxon, that was great! He is lucky to have you and Peter as parents. Very blessed!


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