Bachelor Re-cap

Honestly...

My mouth is agape. Is that how you spell that? Basically, I am catching flies. The Bachelor went with new highs and new lows last night during last nights airing.. Did anyone else fast forward through most of the "Where are they now" segment? Because YAWN. I will tell you where they are now.. They are where they have ALWAYS been.. desperate and single.

When I saw Deanna, I was like... yep, there she is... still single, and she is gonna be for a . . . EVER! And who was excited to see Kipton. I WAS! He is so cute. But I tell you.. that was plumb boring. Thanks for giving back THE BACHELOR. (but we don't really care).

The truth is, they didn't have enough air time of girls ripping Jake apart to fill two hours.. and you wanna know why? Because of STRAIGHT SHOOTIN' JAKE. He never messed around and the girls had nothin' to say about it because he was always straight up.

But oh Michelle, could you see the crazy? Pushed down WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY deep? She had one chance to redeem herself and so she shoved that crazy down as far as she could go.. Too bad everyone COULD STILL SEE IT! Oh well.

And Ali, Aw. See?? I told you you should like Ali. She was snotty. She redeemed herself with Jake and THEN, she redeemed herself EVEN MORE last night. Now, that is a real, good, girl.. Someone who can admit to their mistakes and make a change... (MAN IN THE MIRROR!) Ok, sorry, MJ just popped into my head. But, she is obviously a mature person who can see when they look ugly and try to change.

THE CAGE MATCH: Seriously. No one is a match for Chris Harrison. No one. He is quick on his feet and knew exactly how to make Rozlyn look like a total and complete liar... even when she was attacking him personally. Wow. Seriously. I know I have professed my love for Chris Harrison SEVERAL times. Come on, you have to love him after singing "On the wings of Love" to Jake. Those outtakes are PRICELESS and I seriously wish instead of doing an hour of "The Bachelor gives back" I wish they would do a whole season of "BACHELOR OUTTAKES" or at least release them on DVD. I would buy.

In terms of our grand finale... I know what the spoiler is, and I am stickin' with my guns. I think it is WRONG. I don't think he chooses ANYONE! Did you see his response last night to Chris Harrison's favorite question? "Are you happy?" Is was a big sigh with not too much enthusiasm. . ."Yeah" Sorry Jake, but you are not a great actor and that WAS NOT CONVINCING. So, even if he DID pick you know who. (She who cannot be named) It seems like he may be having a bit of "buyer's remorse".

Until next week. . . . .

PS- I am having a GIVEAWAY! Please enter! FREE STUFF!

MEET MY BACHELOR

You know, I am obsessed with The Bachelor. And secretly, haven't you ALLLLLLLLL dreamt in your head that you wished there was an LDS Bachelor on BYU TV? Oh come on... I know you have... Here is the thing... I HAVE GOT HIM! A BACHELOR! And his name is Jimmy.

Ok, you can call him Jim, but to me, he is Jimmy. We go back about 10 years back to post graduation days in SLC. He hung with me and my girls at the condo all the time... Was a regular fixture and just recently, I found him on the FB and he was... SINGLE. Never married, and SINGLE.

I found it hard to believe, I mean, IT'S JIMMY! One of the most likable, lovable guys on the planet! I had to find out his scoop, so I messaged him. I told him I thought I could hook him up with some chicks.. because EVERYONE knows SOMEONE... So, I am coming to YOU people. YOU, my readers. And just in case you are skeptical, remember, I met my husband on-line 10 years ago.. So, it can work. TRUST ME.

Do you know a lady? A 30 something lady who is looking for a man? It's almost Valentines Day and I KNOW you are all in the mood to play match-maker, so, let's do it. Here is a few of Jimmy's dets:

From: Thousand Oaks, CA. (Ventura County) Grew up near by and after a stint at BYU and SLC moved back there and has been there for the past 9 years. [You do NOT have to live locally to apply! It never hurts to meet someone long-distance. Peter was in Seattle when I was in SLC! Let's face it, you can't always meet someone locally!]

Likes to: Travel to watch sports (i.e. go to a Dodgers game or travel to a bowl game), go out to eat, go to movies, host parties (no wonder I liked him!) and cook for a crowd.

Graduated: from BYU in '97 in Sociology with a Minor in Business and is currently working as a Manufacturing Sales Rep. Has been doing so for the past 5 years and owns his own house in the Thousand Oaks area. . . Has won sales awards for the past few years and sadly, has to take buddies to Hawaii with him...

If he does get married: He wants a few kids...

He thinks that humor, openness, and GENUINE kindness make a good relationship. And Jimmy just doesn't mean, "NICE", He means, someone who is genuinely KIND to others and seeks their welfare (aw--he is sweet). Being easy going (Jimmy is) and fun loving (Jimmy is) is also a major plus and he would prefer to stay away from any D.R.A.M.A. nice and steady does the trick.

On dates he likes to: Do lots! Go on a bit of a marathon date! Try something new like Whale watching, going to the pier and catching a bite to eat.

The kind of girl Jimmy is looking for is

• Genuinely Kind


• a little spice is GOOD


• affectionate (catching up for lost time)


• grounded in the gospel-- gotta know it girls!


• attractive - (come on, we all know you HAVE to be attracted to someone)


• good with money-- I used the word frugal, and he stayed away from that, but likes to follow a BUDGET.

IF YOU KNOW A SINGLE LADY IN HER 30'S THAT MEETS THIS DESCRIPTION, PLEASE HAVE HER E-MAIL ME AT LINDZSTEWATHOTMAILDOTCOM. I will forward your info on to Jimbo.

IF YOU DON'T KNOW A SINGLE LADY IN HER MID-30'S PLEASE COPY THIS POST, OR PUT A LINK TO IT ON YOUR BLOG. HELP A BACHELOR OUT! LET'S MAKE A CONNECTION!

The Bachelor Re-cap

This plane is going to crash.

That is the distinct feeling that I get when watching the Bachelor with "no-messin' around" Jake. This man is alllllllllllllllllll businesss when it comes to dating his women... no re-ject returns either!

For all of you who just can't STAND the Bachelor and his choices, I think I need to remind you of how to manage expectations when watching the Bachelor.

SEE EXPECTATIONS HERE.

Now, with that said let's talk about last nights episode which started with a date with Gia. To be honest, it was so stinkin' boring that I didn't even get through it. Jake had some good intentions with seeing if she could, "deal with the locals". What? Jake! Not a true test of her character! That girl has spent a LIFETIME shopping for her Boutins . . shopping does not equal . . true test of character!

Oh well, it seems like he sorted it all out anyway.

Tenley. It is soooooooooooooooo hard to say rotten things about Tenley because she is so sweet. I mean, sweet as stinkin' pie. But, that laugh.. Did anyone else get slightly un-nerved by that laugh as they were dancing? It was weird, uncomfortable and creepy. Tenley? Creepy? I know, it is a stretch, but the laughing was kinda creepy!

And Vienna. I swore I had nothing to say about Vienna.. except for: Eye shadow belongs on you EYE LID! Please! PUT IT ON YOUR EYE LID!!!!!

It finally made sense to me this morning when I was watching it (I am a lot quicker in the morning) Jake= awkward, sometimes socially rejected (come ON! You all rejected him!) man who doesn't always think too highly of himself. + Vienna= awkward, sometimes socially rejected woman who thinks too highly of herself = PERFECT REALITY SHOW COUPLE.

*I know that doesn't really add up right, especially with two = signs, but I was never good at math.

Come on, you saw it last night, and you KNOW it is true. They are meant for each other (that was for you Leah).

PS- Thanks for all of your submissions for MY BACHELOR, he is truly flattered and loves my "little bloggies" (true quote there). I hope something works out for him (and her, whoever she might be) and I hope I am invited to their wedding and they name their first child Lindsey. I mean, it is only fair! RIGHT??

I got some pretty impressive Bachlorettes BTW, and it makes me think, why can't it go both ways? Are there enough single men out there to e-mail me about my "Bachelorette?" Well, if so, please discuss.

PSS- How excited are you that ABC is going to throw Roslyn under the bus next week with additional footage?? Oh ME ME ME!!!

REALITY SHOW MASH UP

Let's talk Reality TV. It's been a while.

Starting with Dancing With the Stars:



Did you watch last night? I wasn't very excited about this year. Just not very exciting contestants. Let's be certain about one thing, as much as everyone hated her, Kate makes compelling reality tv, and I was always DYING to see what she was going to do this week and what crazy fight she was going to get into with nice guy Tony. Know what I mean?



Seems like this year is kind of a snooze fest, BUT, I will admit that I watched Jennifer Grey's dance last night 5 times. It was awesome, it was compelling, and I like Derek's hair this year. (I have a "thing" about hair styles. . . Just ask my husband-- I consider him 8 to 10 times more attractive if he has just gotten a haircut. . . I digress) But, Derek's hair DOES make a difference, and that dance was so fun, and exciting last night. I loved it. I am starting to forget about Julianne being gone. . . bad news for her, good news for Derek. Everyone else on the show is a COMPLETE SNOOZEFEST though, and puhlease . . . . How mean was it to put an old guy (Michael Bolten) with cute little thing Chelsie Hightower. I feel so bad for her. Michael needs to go. Serious. For Chelsie's sake.





THE BACHELOR



It was leaked last week on People that Brad Womack was going to be the next Bachelor. Ugh.



The Commitment Phobe? AGAIN??????? If you don't remember, Brad ticked off every woman on the planet by not choosing someone at the end of the Bachelor. For those of you who say, "GOOD FOR HIM! It is just a reality show!" I say, "YOU DIDN'T WATCH IT!" He seriously demonstrated perfection in the definition of "COMMITMENT PHOBE" and I am pretty sure there is a picture of his mug in the dictionary next those words.

The only thing worse than a commitment phobe is a SLIMY commitment phobe. You can even watch him and his interview on Ellen where he admits to TOTALLY LEADING THEM ALL ON!.




Anywho. Even better, Chris Harrison admitted to Ryan Seacrest the other day that Brad was indeed a commitment phobe and has been receiving THERAPY FOR IT! I would totally love to say that I am just not going to watch this all go down, but you know I am. You know it. I am such a sucker.

PS- I love Chris Harrison. Here is what he put on his Facebook page about Brad. As you saw announced Brad as our new Bachelor last night on DWTS. I know many of you have valid concerns and questions. All I can ask or tell you is give the man a chance to prove himself. If he lets you down he's all yours' and I'll help hold him down for ya!

And that is why I love Chris Harrison. Because he is willing to hold down Brad Womack so we can all get a shot at him. Love it.

SURVIVOR

Not totally invested yet. I had to finished watching Master Chef before my Tivo could catch Survivor (conflicting time slots) Anywho, was last weeks Tribal Counsel the biggest blunder EVER? Sure seemed like it!

AM I mising one?

The Bachelor Re-cap . . . Women go crazy.

I almost did a post about something other than the Bachelor last week. Seriously! I almost did! It would have been awesome. . . but, The Bachelor is almost over, so, soon. Soon.

I am sorry I didn't get a post about the show up last week! I was watching it with a friend and was able to get all of my, "Whaaaaaaaaaaa?" "No she DIDn't" and "huuuuuuuuh?" moments out.

Most of them had to do with what Chantel chooses to wear. I am sorry. I don't like that kind of cattiness. I really don't. I refuse to let my kids talk that way, I usually don't like hearing OTHER people talk that way, but seriously. Chantel was not lookin' her best. . . oh wait. . . was she ever? All I can think back on is the many poor choices in dresses at the rose ceremonies. I wish I could do a montage. Holly seems to be able to find any screen shot she wants. Holly, will you please put together a montage of Chantel's poor dress choices? Thanks.

Moving on. . no, that CAN'T be all I can say about the African Safari, can it? Nope. First of all, back to what they were wearing. I have to hand it to Emily to always look freakishly perfect even in the jungle with ratty un-curled hair. Seriously. Props to that girl. She always looked hot. I know that is the reason SOME of you don't like her, but, really, she seems super-de-duper nice. Doesn't she? I really have not found a down side to that girl. I like her. Plus, every man needs a woman who can bring him down a notch. And I am not saying that Emily cuts him down or anything, but Brad seems like a rambunctious puppy. And Emily just might be the calming nature he needs to finally "settle down".

Speaking of rambunctious puppy. . .

See that there in the driver's seat? That is Brad's twin brother driving the car. I sure hope they are somewhere in the desert because he is drinking a Bud-light while driving, and I am pretty sure that is illegal. Why bother with the seat belts guys? But you can see Brad the puppy in the back seat. He might as well have his head stuck out the window with his tongue flapping in the wind. Ladies. Does this video say 38 year old man to you? I think not. Emily, Chantal. . you can have him. But then again, I have never been a huge Brad fan. However, he might be ready for a real relationship THIS time. But we all know how long these relationships last.

I was laughing last night that his "significant other" told him to not be too happy to see the women from the show. HA! Already got a grip on that guy huh? That seems more like a Chantal move, than an Emily move. If Emily did say that. . she said it in that super sweet southern drawl, and didn't really insist. And the video montage they showed last night of Brad being a spaz. . . like I said. Puppy.

Okay, let's move on now to the Women tell all, and the most important details of the night. First off, if they pick Ashley H. to be the new bachelorette, I will be seriously disappointed. Like, DeAnna Papas disappointed. And if you have been with me through all the Bachelorette seasons, you should know that is VERY DISAPPOINTED! I just started to get really irritated by her whining and "do you like me" insecurities. I don't think she would be that much fun to watch. Seriously. But, you all know I will. I would NEVER go so far to say that I won't watch. DUH. WINNING.

Just kidding. What would a blog post be without a reference to the biggest melt down this week. Classic.

Okay, now on to Michelle. She drove me crazy. But watching her last night was weird. I didn't feel bad for her, because hey, you put yourself on a reality show, and that is what you are going to get, but EW. . . Alli really showed HER ugly side. Yuck. I am not saying Michelle should have left her 5 year old at home. We all know that she went on the show to "further her career" and I am sure she thought that was going to be great. But can you imagine the backlash you are going to get from a 5 year old if you have been gone for a month? I can't.

She was probably regretting it at that point.

And as for her craziness. It was clearly an act. Or was the crying last night. I don't know, you tell me. What I saw was a girl who is a little insecure, a LOT over exposed, and I dunno. But she did give us the best entertainment of the season. Thanks Michelle!

On a last note. Did you hear Reality Steve was wrong? That is what he is saying. You know what I think? I think the Bachelor producers are having a complete heyday wreaking havoc on Reality Steve and spoilers or not. I still can't figure out who he chooses. They haven't shown him standing out by himself until last night. And they have only shown Brad crying (hard) on Emily's shoulder. . which is strange, and getting mad at Chantal and her saying, "After all this, you better put a ring on my finger!" Nice touch Chantal. I think I may have said something like that right before I got engaged, but there wasn't a "plan B" or "second option" waiting in the wings. I may have saved that little morsel until AFTER you have the ring on your finger. No?

Happy watching kids! I have read the spoilers and I seriously STILL don't have any clue who he is going to pick, but I can't wait to find out!

I can't believe I didn't

Blog about the Bachelor this week. BUT YOU BETTER BELIEVE I WATCHED IT! Compared to most though, I am truly missing the boat. Sleep deprivation is stifling my ability to notice the fine and completely entertaining detail... But, the FABULOUS Jeanelle has taken up in my spot.

We had a hilarious e-mail chain going yesterday that left me truly amazed at what I missed when I was watching the show. I am very bleary eyed... cuz even though this baby is a VERY GOOD baby.. She likes to try to stay up on her 2 a.m. feeding.. and I always have a spot of trouble getting her settled back down. It is costing me my razor sharp bachelor senses. (If it sounds like a Super Hero Power, that is because, IT IS)

Thank HEAVENS Jeanelle has been blogging about it so I can read and laugh and remind myself to watch it again when I am a little more alert. If you want some REALLY great Bachelor entertainment, check Chris Harrison's blog. Just ANOTHER reason to love Chris Harrison. (My favorite host BY FAR... especially if you have seen any of his outtakes. He truly has a fantastic sense of humor--- Oh wait, did I just say FAVORITE HOST? He must be running neck and neck with Tom Bergeron.. .because I totally love him too.)

On a side note... I miss my Manny... Peter had his first full day of work yesterday and I was....

LONELY.

If you would have asked me back in October if I liked having him home I would have told you that I was secretly pulling my hair out and wanted him out of my "office" for the day. I guess I had a few months to change my mind.... More on that to come.

The Bachelor Recap- Brad, I'm Sorry.

Hello from the desert! Okay, I normally am in the desert, but this time I AM in the desert. Like somewhere between PHX, and Indio. Those who live in PHX know it well because it is a huge stretch of land with nothin' to look at for miles, and miles, and I have lots of fond memories of this road from when I was traveling it with a 2 month old who blew out her diaper right as I ran out of gas. PS- I was by myself with that 2 month old and 3 other kids. It was a good time.

Anyway! Isn't technology so cool? My hubby has wi-fi anywhere your cell phone works. I am blogging, and he is listening to talk radio (ew) and we are on our way to Cali while some old people watch our kids. (LOVE THOSE OLD PEOPLE! )

I aaaaaaaaaaalllllllllmost didn't write my bachelor re-cap, but I decided that I needed to keep up with my commitment to society by writing my blog posts. :) Ya, I know all 12 of you who read my blog for these updates. This is how much I love you.

So, let's start with the title, shall we? Brad. I am sorry. I misjudged you. Actually, I didn't misjudge you. I was right, you were a total commitment phobe. But with your dedicated therapy sessions, you have decided to not be such an un-emotional troll. YAY YOU! I am seriously proud of you bud. And your therapists. I have been thinking lately that I need one of those, and with the progress they made with you, I think I might be signing up soon .

Okay, now that that is off my chest, let's move on with the dates. Ashley. Sweet girl huh? Cute story about the Seal song, but seriously, these producers this season are out for some blood. I mean, do you really thing that was just a coincidence? Seriously? No, it wasn't. They wanted an emotional tear fest, and they got one. I am sure at one point in one interview at some time they said, "What is the most meaningful song to you, and why" and BAM. They have their first date with Ashley. And then making Emily get on a small private JET??? Wow. Seriously. Way to make a girl have a nervous break down.

I really liked Ashley, she was super cute, actually is anyone else surprised by the girls this season? I mean, all of the dates so far have been so NORMAL. I mean, they seem like really nice girls! (Except Michelle, Puh-lease. . . no one can like her, not even her own mother. Oh, that was mean, sorry.) My sister said how excited she was to watch Michelle's crazy. Especially with the fireworks over the head hand move, which she did several times BEFORE the kiss, and then afterword? No fireworks. Did anyone else notice this? Weird. She didn't even say that there WERE fireworks when they kissed, so, I guess we know where Michelle rates.

We all LUHUV Emily, right? But did anyone else think . . . . BORING. . . on their date? I mean, she is like the Brad of Bachelor past. An un-emotional troll. (Very very cute and sweet troll) But, unless she was talking about Rickybobby, she was all straight faced, and not so fun. I don't think she is ready for all of this. Not by a long shot. And, even though your fiance died, and you have a child with him, don't you think it is relationship napalm to mention how fantastic your ex was and how amazing he is? I mean, no one is ever going to think they can stack up to that. She needs to come up with a better way to describe him to her new boyfriends, or that might be the only one she ever has. Just sayin'.

And Madison, everyone thought what Madison did was sooooooooooooooo valiant. And it was, the right thing to do. However . . . the biggest shocker to me was. WHO THE HECK WAS THAT LAST GIRL HE GAVE A ROSE TO? I HAVE NEVER SEEN HER BEFORE!

Over and out, from the desert.

The Bachelor Goes CIVIL?

Wow, I have never heard so many people say so many nice things about the OTHER people on The Bachelor ! It was like a big ol' testimony meeting!

Truthfully, I think Naomi should have gone home tonight. Not that Stephanie was my favorite (her look is a little extreme) but, she was obviously a total sweetheart, caregiver, kind heart... It was amazing to see the girls treat each other so CIVILLY!

It must just be because they are *gasp* normal people??? Awwww, then what fun is THIS going to be??? I can't say that I EVER remember an episode of the Bachelor where I liked more than ONE person. (Maybe TWO at the most) But I can honestly say, although I think Stephanie wasn't right for him... I still liked her ok. No one could find anything bad to say about her!!

Right now, my favorites are Jillian, Molly and Melissa. *SCANDAL* Melissa's home date goes terribly wrong! Next week looks like better blog fodder anyway. (The dead dove burial?? Buh Bye Naomi!)

The Bachelor Re-cap. . .It's MY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Was last night's show a boat load of crazy last night or what?

Let's start off with the most DRAMATIC event of the evening shall we?

First of all, I am sooooooooooooooooooo sick of . . . "Let's go shoot a TV spot" I can hardly stand it.

And it looks like they are going to do another one NEXT week! I mean come ON! I think that is enough. Really. Enough.

Michelle is. . . scary. The throw a fit cuz it's my birthday seemed the do the trick, but was anyone else tired of her constant interviews? It is like they don't interview ANYONE but Michelle, and Chantal! How many times was Chantal interviewed last night? 20. And how many times was she seen even talking to Brad. 0. Michelle does make great train wreck tv though, she is spooky scary.

The strangest part is when she pulled Brad away before he could even finish his toast to ask him the two most important questions she could think of. . . .Where does he buy coffee? And what does he stock his refrigerator with? Seriously? I side with Emily on that one. Who cares. Michelle. But she is the ONLY person who does.

Let's talk about the girl fight between Melissa, and Raichel (who spells it that way? seriously?) Anyway . . . . . that is all I can think about that. . . . . It was dumb. . . . . okay, I have more to say.

It was dumb. And Melissa looked like she was completely making things up, and her random thoughts about pizza while she is crying is cukoo. It was obvious Brad thought so too. Good choice to get rid of both. That way, it doesn't seem like he is taking a side.

The STRANGEST thing was the people that Brad chose to take on single dates!!???!??!?!??!???!?

Now, I can't really recall, and I already deleted it, but was Ashley H. the one last week who said she wanted to make him feel comfortable and have fun and totally set him at ease? Because if that was her, that date makes sense.

But. . . Jackie? That one came out of no-where. And what does an "Artist" do anyway. I would really like to know. But she seems so quirky -the New York City Artist- quirky, and seems like the last person alive who would want the "Pretty Woman Dream Date". She is more the, take a picnic to the park kinda girl, so, it just sat weird with me the whole time. Am I alone? It was weird. ESPECIALLY when Train started singing that "Marry Me" song. Talk about UNCOMFORTABLE. I mean, they have known each other for 2-3 days, and have gone on one date, and have seen each other about 2.5 times, and they are singing MARRY ME? Do they have another song they could sing? Are these dates seeming a little weird at such an early stage? Or is it just me? What happened to the "adrenalin date?" which is usually pre-determined to decide who the person picks? (Hello Ali, and Jake!) That would have been a more appropriate date for this stage. No?

Anywho. The person who wins most pathetic for the evening is: Keltie.

Oh, Keltie. Even if your hopes and dreams are shattered PLEASE don't lose your self dignity on national television and say you've tried everything???!!! That is just so, so, so SAD on sooooooooooo many levels. Can you just keep that to yourself? Yes, you can say your bummed. Yes, you can say it stinks.. But please don't act like you life is over.

For any future Bachelor contestants, I am willing to do "WHAT NOT TO SAY" coaching so that you don't ruin the rest of your life with anything you might say on the Bachelor. You can just e-mail me. I will be glad to be of service. And was is just me? Or did she look like she had Mickey Mouse ears on with that crazy hair do at the Rose Ceremony? Every time the camera flashed my her I thought. . is someone wearing Mickey Mouse ears??? Oh. . no. . it is just Keltie's hair.

Just sayin'

Thoughts appreciated. Let's chat! Comment below!

Holly re-capped over here!

The Bachelor Re-cap. . . silence is golden

It is a sad sad time when I can't blog anything but the bachelor. It is funny, because I will look through my photos and think, "Why didn't I blog about that?" But to be honest, sometimes, I just can't blog.

So, back to the Bachelor. . . There were only a few things that really came to mind. First of all. I love Rambo Brad. . . "breakin' all the rules" Brad. . . I mean, honestly. . . If he did something the producers didn't like, they would just edit it out! Have you ever heard Trista say that Alex Michele (or who ever he was) TOLD her that he was going to pick her? Yet, you never saw that (It was probably in the fantasy suite . . ahem) But anyway, if they said something "they weren't supposed to say" it can always end up on the editing floor.

Let's go to Brit's date. BORING. Wow. You could really feel the distance. There was just no chemistry whatsoever! So, kudos to Brad for sending her packing. However, I am with Michelle, what a waste of a yacht! WOW. And, to be honest, I was starting to get extremely uncomfortable with Brit in her bikini. . .if the camera adds 10 lbs, I don't want to see that in person. It made me hungry just looking at her. I am sooooooooooooooooooooooo not somebody who judges body types, but how hilarious was Chantel with her fat day. What a bummer to be having a fat day during an SI photoshoot. I understand all of the emotions going on there at that little photo shoot. And leave it to Michelle to manipulate the situation to her advantage. She is a master, and my hat is off to that girl.

I also want to give Brad a big thumbs up for realizing what kind of a situation that was. Nutso. At least he recognized it, and acknowledged it. That probably could have worked a few episodes ago, but not with the last few girls. Too many attachments there. But hey, he realized it! But was anyone else completely floored when he gave "You're SCARING me!" Ashley the rose? First of all, show some confidence GIRL! And second of all. . . what a blind side to Chantel! I have to admit, if I had dropped the "love" word and didn't get a rose out of three girls on a group date, I would have come unglued too. That said, I am all for a girl "sticking it" to a guy. **Sidestory** I dated a guy once, who was playing coy. . .I was starting to get frustrated with his games, and put a sign up on the back of my bedroom door that said, "IT'S HIS LOSS" in big huge letters. I never intended him to see it, but when he came to "break up" with me (we weren't dating exclusively), the only available room in our crowded Sunday night apartment was my room. . Guess what he saw on his way out. Snap! End of Sidestory**** I was kind of wishing Chantel would just hold her head up high and walk away, leaving Brad to want to chase her a little. But, she didn't.

A quick note about Emily. He all but proposed to her! And I have to admit, I know people don't like her (hi Ashley!) But, I do. She is super sweet and has really not once show a bad side of herself. Not that there isn't one, but the fact that she can go through this complete experience and come out smelling like a rose is pretty amazing to me. I mean, just compare her to Chantel for just a second. She makes Chantel look like a completely immature, wreck of a girl. Knowwadimean? Seriously. After last night, as awkward as they were in their little private moment, I was instantly pulling for Emily. I also understand Brad's reservations though. . that history with her boyfriend, and even the fact that she is calling her little girl by HIS name every single day. . WOW. Don't know if ANYONE is going to get past that.

Last but not least (I had a lot more to say about this episode than I thought!) Michelle's departure. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?? ? ? ?? ?? Was anyone else seriously confused? For her to be completely silent is well. . . unbelievable? I mean, YOU KNOW the producers were in her face asking her a million how do you feel questions, and they didn't even get a "I AM NOT GOING TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS" answer!!??!?! I can't believe it. Not even a quote after an hour? Wow. She went mute. Who woulda thought. But again, kudos to brad for seeing the A-bomb when he meets one. She is fire and he is no lamb. . Their relationship would have been a nightmare. I am amazed that he was able to stay out of her flaxen cord. . .

What did YOU think?

The Bachelor Re-Cap

Thanks Ali, you ruined EVERYTHING!!!!

That is my re-cap! Hope you enjoyed it... Now, if you want to get to know a REAL BACHELOR (that I am trying to hook-up) GO HERE!

The Bachelor- Brad Womack re-cap

Let's just all agree, the first night of the Bachelor is boring. Too many girls to keep track of.

Let's start with Brad's repentance.

Adequate.

That is all I can think of. You know? I mean, I nailed it right on the head. The guy was a commitment phobe. But at least he is willing to admit it now right? I am not sure, if I was one of those girls, that him saying that would make me feel any better. But he did it. So, GO BRAD!

The DeAnna and Jenni moment was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo reality T.V. And can I just state for the record that I am DONE with DeAnna? That smug look. That attitude. Yuk. I can't stand her for another minute! Please! Do we have to have more DeAnna?? Let's not. Mkay?

Not that I am a Brad lover... I am not. Maybe he will win me over, but I kinda doubt it.

Let's get on to the ladies.

Okay, let's not.

Except for a few.

There really are too many girls. I mean, they are up to 30 now????? When it all started, wasn't it like 20? Are they just trying to confuse the poor guy SUPER bad now? Or what? I have to admit, the "real-ness" factor this season was up. I mean, the girls seemed more "real" I know that is an oxymoron since they are on a Reality TV show, but it really did seem that way! All except for . . .

Vampire girl. Totally lame. Totally. All the looking over her shoulder, flipping hair. Seriously? Ugh.

And of course, our little Salt Lake City girl. . . um. wow. Did you see the dress? Did you see the SLIT? Crazy. She seems a little crazy too.

No one else stood out to me as a total nut job, but hey, it has been at least 24 hours now since I watched it, but I will tell you who I DID like.

Little southern Belle... However, it seems like she really does somethin' to tick Brad off. She almost seems like a female version of Brad. . . I like you buuuuuuuuuuut.....

What did you think?

PS- what is with girls crying on the first night??? Weird. If you leave on the first night, don't CRY about it!?

The Bachelorette Re-Cap

Alrighty folks. I don't know what happened to Holly, but since she hasn't posted her re-cap, I will do a little ditty. Don't get too excited because I can't re-hash it all. It has long been deleted from my DVR, but I have to say,

I enjoyed it.

It was like UMPTEEN MILLION times better than when Jake chose that freakshow Vienna(Betcha he is sad he did that!) I think it was because of the genuineness of the people. Although Ali's love for Frank bugged me (he was SO weird), she won my heart over in the long run with her level head and big heart.

I don't think I remember thinking that a Bachelorette/Bachelor couple would make it as much as I think these two will. That being said, the chances are slim, of course. But do you remember Andrew Firestone and Jen Scheft? I really did think they were going to make it. And they dated for what... almost a year before breaking up? She was smart, and level headed too, and she proved it by not choosing ANY of the guys when she was the Bachelorette! (Smart girl) Eventhough they didn't make it, I think I am rooting for Ali and Rerberto (spelling error intended) as much as I was rooting for Andrew and Jen. And now look at Andrew and Jen, they are both happily married (not to each other albeit) but to others and are living very stable lives. (Not much can be said for the rest of the heaping pile of dysfunctional Bachelors/ettes.)

WHICH LEADS ME TO MY NEXT ISSUE.

As much as it maybe a temptation. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT MAKE CHRIS L. THE NEXT BACHELOR.

REALLY.

He is just too nice of a guy. I mean, a former school teacher, who coached kids and left his job to care for his convalescing mom? Seriously? I mean, I see why Ali didn't choose him. He is reserved. (Did you see some of his outtakes though? Seriously funny) And Ali is a fruit pie. She is as nutty as they come, and Rerberto loved it. And although he isn't as nutty, he TOTALLY accepts her nutty-ness and calls it cute and her perfect. So in my opinion, she picked the RIGHT GUY FOR HER. But not the right guy. Know whatimean?

Chris L. *Sigh*


And kudos go to Ali for leaving the Bach team and their producers in a lurch when she sent Chris home. FINALLY someone who does something for the right reasons, no matter what the consequences. She did the right thing, we all knew it. And at that moment, for a slight second, I thought. . . you know? This show is inspiring...... JUST KIDDING.

I liked it. I wasn't quite sure leading up that Rerberto was going to take the plunge, but it looks like he did, both literally and figuratively. The guy was COVERED in sweat. (So, stinkin' romantic--NOT) Chris Harrison's blog said that he also fell into the water when he was getting out of that boat AND that he had to climb a LONG WAYS to get up to that platform. Poor guy. Why didn't they just CHOPPER him in?

Loves to you all who wanted a re-cap. THERE.YOU.GO.

Bachelor Re-Cap

Alright, since everyone's fav is The Bachelor re-caps.. here you go. [I am GIVING AWAY SOMETHING! GO SEE!]

I am in trouble. BIG TROUBLE.

I an not rooting for anyone. NO ONE.

BIG FAT ZERO.

Because everyone is starting to drive me CRAZY!!!

Let's start with Gia- I am just not a fan. I never have been, but I don't know! It doesn't seem to me like there is much to her personality. Ok, there is NOTHING to her personality! And it is starting to drive me crazy that her upper lip does not move. Did anyone else notice that? Sorry, it has just started to bug me and it is all I can think about when I see her.

Ali- Honestly, she has been my favorite from the beginning she seems "for real" and not "crazy" and she SEMI redeemed herself for backing off of Vienna and saying she was over it. *sigh* GOOD. But in the mean time, she is lookin' pretty um, well, let's just use the word snotty. Ok? I just wish she would wipe that smirk off her face because it makes it U.G.L.Y. and I don't mean just on the outside.

Tenley- I know there are a LOT of you Tenley fans out there. And look, I think she is sweet as pie too, but I am thinking: DOOR MAT. And sometimes, when she is talking... and her pitch goes a bit higher... and higher and then she throws a little baby talk in there and.........fffffffffsttttttttp. I am out. The second she starts to do that, I just can't cut it. I want to scratch her off the list.

Corrie: Who? Ok, I totally respect that you are a virgin, and so does Jake, but virgin doesn't have to mean, BORING. ok?

Jake. Oooooooooooooooooooooooh Jakey. What are we going to do with you. Really. I have read the spoilers Jake.. You know, the ones that say who you choose? I am am not pleased. And I FOR SURE hope that those spoilers are DEAD WRONG. But, I guess it doesn't matter super much because I don't like the girls anyway. I mean, they just all have their "issues", and I am not saying there is one that got away, because, there probably wasn't.. but I am going to stand by my original thought and HOPE that you don't choose any. That would make me the most happy I am thinking. (AND IT IS AAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL ABOUT MAKING ME HAPPY, RIGHT?) no, it isn't, because I would watch the show no matter WHAT happens. (*sucker*)

Can't wait to see who is trying to stir up DRAMA, but I bet it is old Vienna at the door. Oh wait, I didn't even mention her!! BECAUSE WHAT IS THERE TO SAY BUT AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

There... hope you liked it.

PS- I think I WILL add a little Pampered Chef goodie to my giveaway. I was thinkin' of makin' it a little sweeter anyway! :)

Wings of Love

* pic courtesy of abc.com

Anyone have that song stuck in their head today??? No? Just me?

Alright... wouldn't be the first time.

To those of you who watched the Bachelor last night the only word I can think of to sum it up was...


AWKWARD.

Wasn't it?

Was it Jake? (I know there are a lot of Jake haters out there... don't hate him because he is awkward--think of a better reason)

Was it the HORRIBLE, GOOFY, STUPID (I hate that word-- and for the record, I hate the word hate) ONE liners the girls were coming up with. I mean, I have never heard worse in the HISTORY of bad opening one liners!!!

Moving on...

Ed and Jill: We get it, you are still together... but I have to admit, I was watching Ed like a HAWK for any slip ups... looking too long.. looking down... looking at all... it was distracting.

Ali- She is my fav right now... She was fun, not too attached, cute, and really tried to make the best of it, even though she was sick and didn't play the "I'm sick" card as hard as she could have.

Elizabeth from NEBRASKA??? Puhlease! How 'bout Elizabeth from LA who is trying to jump start her career. I am not going to say I didn't like her, but, I think her intentions were CLEAR.

Christina- Jelly Beans? A little too much on the I'm gonna show you side. Don't you think? Too much.

Michelle- Too weepy.. Especially for the first night,

and Rosyln-- Too model-y.

In the end, I think Jake might surprise us all and pick... NO ONE? Maybe... if Bachelor would, it would be him.. Not because no one is perfect enough (HI BRAD WOMACK) But because he really is just a good guy, lookin' for a good girl and there wasn't one who answered the casting call.

We will see!

Bachelor Quickies

If you didn't get to watch it, here is a run down:

Most Consistently Drunk: Kelly- you can always tell when she has gotten a little too much to drink.

Best Overblown Injury: Marshana: with a bloody lip... Ohhhhh such a HORRIFIC injury.

Favorite Actress: Shane - "My top five are like- cars, shoes, handbags, watches, sunglasses, I think if you have all those five, it doesn't matter what you are wearing on your body."

Truest Tears: Holly: "It is so hard to see him interacting with so many other girls" Um, didn't they tell you this was the bachelor?

Most commonly said: Matt: "I missed you" He said it to at least 6 women.

Favorite Quote: Noelle: "I feel like the only person here, who is, you know ...real. And I feel like nobody sees that."

Most Annoying: Ashley: Because wearing fake eyelashes to play rugby IS ridiculous.

The Mormon Bachelorette

Well, if you have been reading this blog for any length of time, you know that I have a slight obsession with the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise. It is true. I think it is because I spent many years as a Bachelorette and feel like I have quite a bit of insight in the whole "dating" realm. I have several "theories" which someday I will write in a book and call it. . . ok, I don't have an idea for a book, nor do I have a fictional book title. I DO however, take pride in my ability to make the call with the Bach/Bachelorette finalists and if you have been reading you know that my call with DeAnna Pappas AND Brad Womack was SPOT ON. I am sure I have nailed a few others, but, whatever. . I am not here to talk about that tonight.

What I AM here to talk about is . .. THE MORMON BACHELORETTE, which, quite frankly, STOLE MY IDEA, which I consider intellectual property (learned that from watching the movie The Social Network) and I plan on suing them for millions later in life when they make millions. Or, I at least want to be invited to the wedding when Aubrey finds her man, oh, and I want credits on the website. Enough said.

One of my Bachelor/Bachelorette followers clued me in to the site which has taken on the task of finding Aubrey Messick an eternal companion. And no, it is not a joke. I am quite certain, if I was still single, and living with a bunch of great women that I would have totally come up with this idea on my own, so, kudos to them for taking it as far as they have. I would have been no match against Aubrey's style though. She always looks effortless and amazing. Anywho, when I first visited the site, they had a few "applicant videos" that were. . .well, horrible. And I couldn't even finish watching some of them. However, a little time has gone by, and now Aubrey has been on COUNT 'EM 22 DATES! WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I started watching a few of these dates tonight, and I have to admit, it made me want to walk around with a video camera following my every move and have a complete soundtrack to my life. (Ps- I am LOVING the music they have put to all this!) There have been all sorts of dates, and even a SCANDAL. Which, since I wasn't following the site daily, I missed. Sadly. (I am seriously making this easy for you with all of these links. . .)

Anywho, if you are one of my Bach/Bachelorette followers, this could probably entertain you for hours. So. . ENJOY.

PS- I have not watched all of the dates yet, but I am going to make the call right now that LARRY is going to make it into the finals because A-He is cute, and B-he got to spend the most time with Aubrey (he has acted as the camera guy on a few dates) and C- he got under a table to video her legs. . . Just sayin' .

And if there is anyone out there who wants to follow me around with a video recorder all day, I am sure my life would make for some interesting moments. So, I am open.

Refresher Course

It really is too bad that I haven't been able to blog about EVERY Season of "The Bachelor". I know, I can't believe I watch it either. But, like I have said before, there is something compelling about Reality TV. (I did NOT say REDEEMING, I said COMPELLING) Anywho, think what you want, but my Tivo will be set for Monday night.

In the mean time, enjoy this "Scrapbook" of the "Bachelor". I have to admit, I giggled through most of it. I mean, sometimes I just can't even BELIEVE the outcomes. Don't worry, I never have high hopes for an actual success story, it is more just the ride [horrible train wreck] that I find interesting [entertaining].

If you have watched it before, you will see what I mean. I mean, remember the Cosmetic Italian guy??? Yeah, I hardly do either. Too bad he probably did that show for publicity, but I still can't remember his name. Enjoy!

Setting Expectations for the Bachelor. . .

This sweet cute girl has set her expectations for this season of "The Bachelor" way too high.. I had to "gently" let her down...I did it in her comment section. Best wishes on your recovery Jeanelle. :)

Bachelor Re-cap

Did anyone miss my bachelor re-cap last week? I kinda did, but Jeanelle more than made up for it. Believe it or not, you almost didn't get one this week either because my DVR didn't record it! GAH!

It always happens once a season with a show that I love when the priority isn't set just right... So, I had to watch it this morning on-line... which is so not fun. . Anyway, here is my take on Jake.

VIENNA??? Seriously? I just don't see it. Although I will state a few things I am noticing about Vienna.. A- she is not as bad as her "package" was.. in her package she was very "Elle Woods" from Legally Blonde and I didn't think I was going to like her from one second. I still don't particularly think she is AWESOME (hi Ali!--But quit complaining k?) BUT B- I don't really think she is as bad as the girls in the house think she is either!!! I mean, I have seen plenty of girls in other seasons talk about their dates and no one gets as bent out of shape as these ladies!

And Jake.. I know he has been getting a lot of crap.. people don't like him, say he is weird and I don't even know how else they describe him, but seriously, he had some serious cajones last night for calling Michelle's bluff. (Seriously girl? You can only pull that kinda thing once, mkay?) And walking her crazy hiney ho right out the Do'! THANK HEAVENS!

And he did it again when he kicked Elizabeth out the door... A guy doesn't like a tease.... Ask my husband.. too bad we are already married!! Note to Elizabeth.. save that stuff for AFTER marriage... guys don't like it before-hand. Oh wait, they don't like it... EVER!!!! DUH! She got what she deserved.. but honestly, if she didn't get to go out that way, she couldn't have shown her "cry on screen" skills. Let's be honest, she probably had a boyfriend back home and she told him she wouldn't kiss the bach if he let her come on to improve her career... Ok, Nanny from some dull place who currently resides in L.A.!!!!

That is all I got for you this week, besides... Who the heck was VALISHA?? I swear, I never saw her until she got a close up for NOT getting the rose!

OUT.

If you wanna read more funny re-caps, visit my friends! Jeanelle, and Hollyween!