Pirates Like Cake

Wonder why I am not a regular "poster" right now? See this post. It speaks volumes.



When Jaxon was 2 years old, and not yet diagnosed with Autism, he used to make Pirate Maps. They consisted of an x, and island, some dotted lines and an occassional pirate. I am sure I have a few somewhere, because he probably made 1,000 of them. And if you think that might be an exaggeration, think again. I would give him a stack of about 20 papers and he would blaze through them in an hour, sketching his design. He would roll it up, ala, pirate map, and I would find the floor littered with pirate "debris" so to speak.



So, is it any real surprise that he wanted a priate cake for his birthday?



I mean, should there have been any surprise at all? After this cake, and this cake ?


I did a quick google search, and found something that would resemble a Pirate Cake. I thought I had seen one on Jill's blog, and I did! The thing to remember when putting together a crazy cake is that the freezer is your friend. I cut 2 rounds in 1/2 and frosted them side by side. I pressed on both ends and froze.



Then I flipped this side that you are seeing, down, and frosted the "bottom" of the cake, and then flipped it back to the top, to finish frosting. If you do a "real" frosting you have to be sure to keep the cake cool, so it will stay together. That is when the refrigerator becomes your friend.

In all, I think he was pretty pleased with the results.


The best was lighting the cannon candles, of course.

We also made a little visit to Chuck E. Cheese on a Monday night (it was a ghost town) just as a family to "celebrate" Wade took all of his tokens and planted himself at the Star Wars game and did not move the entire time. Coin after coin after coin.

I like Pirate Birthdays, for sure.

Trying to Remember

Right now, I am trying to remember that we spent THREE WEEKS in cooler weather this summer. It is REALLY hard to believe because my garage door is still broken and I am still parking outside in 106+degree weather. We haven't seen two digits in weeks, and it is starting to get to me.

I swear at some point I was cool this summer. I swear. But right now I don't seem to remember the feeling of cool air.

I am dreaming of escaping, but, the kids are in school now and although I would love to take off for some cooler weather, it seems as if we are tied down for now. Until fall break that is. In the mean time, I have decided to finally down load my summer pix and think it is time to share. Maybe looking at them will make me feel cooler.

When I look back, I cannot believe I spent 48 hours driving from state to state to state to state largely on my own this summer. I did have Lisa with me for a couple of legs, and I think we cured her from any kind of driving travel for the rest of her LIFE! Most people call me crazy and for the record, I think I am crazy to. But I can either be crazy, or stay in Arizona for 7 weeks without a pool during the summer. Sounds about even doesn't it?

I didn't think I had posted any pix of the summer, but then I found this post. Seriously one of my favorite days from the summer. If you didn't read it because YOU were enjoying YOUR summer vacation, you can READ IT HERE. That last picture is priceless no?

I would be NUTS if I didn't go spend as much time as I could possibly muster at my in-laws house. I guess I should say, as much time as THEY can muster. Who wouldn't want to wake up to this every day.

I just swung open the door, and there I was. I can almost feel it now, if I close my eyes, lay under an air conditioning vent and put Kaylie in the bathtub so I can listen to water lapping. Can you feel it now too? Thought so.

Life with the In-laws is NEVER dull. We were sent an "agenda" before we even walked out the front door. One of the items was the Pirates of Couer d'Alene Cruise. It was a LOVELY adventure.

There was an on board sword fight, a damsel in distress, and pirates run amuck of course.

Leave it to Abby to be feeling the DRAMA.

I think it is safe to say everyone had a great time.
If you didn't get a chance to check it out this year, be sure to put it on the list for next.



If you knew how hard it is to get a picture of this guy, you would really appreciate this picture. Thanks Grrpa. We had a fantastic time.

OPEN FOR BUSINESS

I have moved 9 times in 10 years. (Or something like that) I pretty much had a nervous break down after the last move, and just didn't unpack.



Although I finally got my act together, there are still aspects of my "move" that are un-finished. Call me crazy, but when you are renting, it is hard to put a lot of effort into making the place "HOME". Especially since I am feuding with my landlord right now.

MY GARAGE DOOR IS STILL BROKEN!



Anywho. I DO have some good news, and the GOOD news is. . . since I am having my PARTY on Saturday night (ARE YOU COMING?) I finally got something FIXED.


My toilet started running. . . Like 6 months ago, but who is counting RIGHT?

So, instead of going to the store and picking up ONE part to fix it, I just turned off the water, closed the door, and locked it.

Kaylie was in "play in the toilet" phase anyway, so, it just seemed like one less trouble. AND, it ended up being a PERFECT hiding place for the TARGET CHRISTMAS HAUL. (I did it AGAIN this year!)

Plus, I just couldn't figure out how to go to Home Depot to pick up JUST ONE THING. It seems like the ultimate pain in my butt to pull into home depot, unload 2 (0r 4) kids and go in to pick up ONE THING.

I. just. couldn't. do. it.

Guess what.

I finally DID IT!

Not to forget, I also hung that gigantic wall mural up on the wall (it was merely propped up on the wall) AND I hung a plaque in the bathroom too! (I don't like where it is, but it's not comin' down now!)

So welcome. . . . My COMMODE is OPEN FOR BUSINESS!

Come sit on it, will ya?

EAT . PRAY . LOVE

EAT. LOVE. PRAY

Great NEWS! Pampered Chef is coming out with their new fall catalog September 1st. Not so great news! They are making 72 price increases, and shipping is going up too.
Now is the time to take advantage of current pricing AND SEE ALL THE BRAND NEW FALL PRODUCT!

PAMPERED CHEF
FALL KICK OFF EVENT!

Win prizes!
Win FREE PRODUCT!
Win 20% off your order!
Past Hosts get 20% off ANYWAY!
Bring a friend, get a prize!
Bring two, GET FREE SHIPPING!

I am making lots of FABULOUS FOOD and I PRAY that you will come and EAT and LOVE the new products!

Saturday, August 14th 2010
7:00 p.m.- 9:00 p.m.
EAT.PRAY.LOVE AFTERWORDS!

If bloggy peeps want to get in on the action, you can order at:

www.pamperedchef.biz/Lindseyscooking

Enter: FALL KICKOFF
as the host.

Your order will enter you into my prize drawings that night!

Please RSVP to: Lindseyscooking@hotmail.com

The Bachelorette Re-Cap

Alrighty folks. I don't know what happened to Holly, but since she hasn't posted her re-cap, I will do a little ditty. Don't get too excited because I can't re-hash it all. It has long been deleted from my DVR, but I have to say,

I enjoyed it.

It was like UMPTEEN MILLION times better than when Jake chose that freakshow Vienna(Betcha he is sad he did that!) I think it was because of the genuineness of the people. Although Ali's love for Frank bugged me (he was SO weird), she won my heart over in the long run with her level head and big heart.

I don't think I remember thinking that a Bachelorette/Bachelor couple would make it as much as I think these two will. That being said, the chances are slim, of course. But do you remember Andrew Firestone and Jen Scheft? I really did think they were going to make it. And they dated for what... almost a year before breaking up? She was smart, and level headed too, and she proved it by not choosing ANY of the guys when she was the Bachelorette! (Smart girl) Eventhough they didn't make it, I think I am rooting for Ali and Rerberto (spelling error intended) as much as I was rooting for Andrew and Jen. And now look at Andrew and Jen, they are both happily married (not to each other albeit) but to others and are living very stable lives. (Not much can be said for the rest of the heaping pile of dysfunctional Bachelors/ettes.)

WHICH LEADS ME TO MY NEXT ISSUE.

As much as it maybe a temptation. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT MAKE CHRIS L. THE NEXT BACHELOR.

REALLY.

He is just too nice of a guy. I mean, a former school teacher, who coached kids and left his job to care for his convalescing mom? Seriously? I mean, I see why Ali didn't choose him. He is reserved. (Did you see some of his outtakes though? Seriously funny) And Ali is a fruit pie. She is as nutty as they come, and Rerberto loved it. And although he isn't as nutty, he TOTALLY accepts her nutty-ness and calls it cute and her perfect. So in my opinion, she picked the RIGHT GUY FOR HER. But not the right guy. Know whatimean?

Chris L. *Sigh*


And kudos go to Ali for leaving the Bach team and their producers in a lurch when she sent Chris home. FINALLY someone who does something for the right reasons, no matter what the consequences. She did the right thing, we all knew it. And at that moment, for a slight second, I thought. . . you know? This show is inspiring...... JUST KIDDING.

I liked it. I wasn't quite sure leading up that Rerberto was going to take the plunge, but it looks like he did, both literally and figuratively. The guy was COVERED in sweat. (So, stinkin' romantic--NOT) Chris Harrison's blog said that he also fell into the water when he was getting out of that boat AND that he had to climb a LONG WAYS to get up to that platform. Poor guy. Why didn't they just CHOPPER him in?

Loves to you all who wanted a re-cap. THERE.YOU.GO.

I have a secret

When I am blog silent, it is usually because my "real life" becomes so insanely busy that I don't have a single solitary second to put together thoughts that belong on a blog.

I don't like it.

Because I have "blog thoughts" when I am not blogging, but they can't be translated into "blogland" because I just don't.have.the.time.

But I miss it.

But I don't miss it.

But I wonder if you miss me.

But then I realize that you probably don't.

But then I check my statcounter.

And I realilze that a few of you, do, indeed, miss me.

And the rest of you, have a blogreader. (GOOD WORK!)

But even when I do blog, only a few of you say hi. (A sad fact that I am trying to get over)

But then I check my statcounter, and realize, that indeed, you all stopped by. (Why don't you say hi next time!)

Here are my most recent BLOG THOUGHTS:

• I fell off my step at step class. #1 Reason I don't attend step class.
• I am so insanely grateful that school started. (I.KNOW)
• I have had a serious hip problem that hurts like Hades and makes me feel 80.
• I had two birthdays last week back to back. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PETER AND ABBY! I LOVE YOU! Huh, funny, that happens EVERY year.
• I watched the Bachelorette and. . . I THINK IT MIGHT WORK! REALLY!
• I love Chris L.
• Sorry honey.
• I want to do another Pampered Chef Giveaway.
• Do you all want me to?
• I am going to lunch with a famous blogger that now lives by me! LOVE IT!
• My garage door is STILL BROKEN
• My car got fixed. For. FREE.
• I like Nutella. TOO MUCH.

That's all I got! Have a great day! Maybe I will stop by again soon!

Have you missed me?

In the last two days I have put two kids back in school, have the blue screen of death on my computer, had the garage door break (like break BADLY) and had my AC in my car blowing hot air at me in 109 degree weather. Today I spent 119 minutes on a call trying to fix my computer(It still isn't fixed), I drove around in a car with no A/C delivered it to the dealership and took everything out of it and now have a rental. However, I can't park in the garage because the door still isn't fix (gratefully it is closed now at least) and now have no auto start feature as my car bakes out in the 109 sun.

What have you all been doing?

Bachelorette Re-Cap

Oh.you.guys.



What can I say? I am kinda speechless! I.KNOW.



I can't believe it either.



I have been sitting here waiting for inspiration to hit me and it just hasn't. But, I know a few things for sure. I can't WAIT to hear YOUR feedback, because I am sure you have a LOT to say. I know I always do each week, and I don't know what is different about this week.



I think it might be because of Frank. I honestly believe that Ali had chosen Frank (already in her heart). She would beg and beg and beg him to let go and be present and he just never was. She was so "into" him and it was obvious where her feelings were. Especially because she chose him for the last date. They ALWAYS choose the best for last because that is the lasting impression they want.



I think Frank's issues go FAR BEYOND having an "ex" GIRLFRIEND. And are more about him being a complete nomad with no real direction in life. So, in the end, it would be a total trainwreck, so, I am glad he did this anyway, but. . . . but. . . it almost deflates the rest of it, which is what really stinks because even if Ali chooses someone, I am not 100% sure she is going to be into him. You know? [Here I am acting like it works out most of the time. Ha!]



Anywho. Because I was struggling with this post, I decided to read my favorite re-caps. Both Ali and Chris Harrison re-cap every show, so, I went looking for my re-caps. I stumbled upon a re-cap on EW. Apparently there is someone there who re-caps every show. And to be honest, I thought I was reading one of our witty and smart re-caps! I loved it, and I have to link it HERE because it was hilarious.



The show starts with Frank in Chicago going to check out his "ex" girlfriend. I love putting that in quotes because it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO obvious that he didn't break up with her befor he left, but rather, said, "Hey. . I got his awesome opportunity to go on this show, and I am going, so, see ya later! If I come back, I would love to hook back up with you!" To me, she did not at all seem like a jaded or dumped "ex" but just the girl he left behind. (Ps- I watched an interview with Ali and she basically said the same thing. . . but, she defended Frank as being different saying that he did open up and try to have a relationship with her, but his feelings for another won out.)



What did you think of their "talk" didn't she seem like the most interesting and exciting girl EVER? Ya. At least Ali has some spunk! But whatever Frank. You are a total cad. Did he even tell her he loves her? The whole thing was weird. It seems like she was one of his employees at Starbucks and they started to date and well, the rest was history.

Back to the beach. RoBerto has the first date an MAN WAS HE SWEATY! Isn't that guy latin? Didn't he live in Florida? I have never seen someone sweat as much as RoBerto! Or Rerberto, as Ali calls him. He was pitting out all day/night and I just wanted to find him a cold shower. Poor guy. Ali on the other hand looked like she was vacationing in San Fran. What is with the pants? If it is half as hot as RoBerto makes it look, she should have been wearing a LOT less. Oh, and hats off to Ali's trainer that she negotiated as part of her deal along with her travel destinations. Her abs are looking amazing. RoBerto looked like a love sick puppy while on the helicopter and Ali was just happy to be lookin' out the window. I kinda wanted to smack her.

Ok, now you HAVE to read THIS RECAP because this is where I just can't compete. The only other thing I WILL mention is that dress that Ali was wearing for dinner. So super short. When Ali was starting her ascent up the ladder to the fantasy suite, I was just waiting to see if he glanced up. Yup. He did. RoBerto, you opportunist you. At least it was just a quick glimpse and not a complete stare down.

Now on to Chris. If you haven't felt love for Chris in the past, CAN YOU FEEL IT NOW? Man. I have always been a huge Chris fan, but now. . . NOW. . . I can hardly believe anyone else is still in the running! Between him being an amazing person to him having that incredibly giddy in love look on his face when he looks at Ali. . if she can even REMEMBER Frank's name, I would be amazed. I can hardly believe that she even CARES when Frank leaves.

There were just so many endearing moments with Chris that were making the decision VERY clear to me. Shall I list them? Okay.

• The windswept hair is a MUCH better look for Chris.
• Cuddling on the lounge chairs when Ali has her face pressed up to Chris's? And that GIGANTIC smile on his face? Come on! Priceless.
• The fact that he CAN'T TREAD WATER. What was up with that?
• Walking toward the beach while he is carrying her and kissing her the whole way? Hubba hubba. . .ticket to Tahiti please. Did anyone else notice they had aqua socks on right there, but at no other time?
• Looking for pearls? So, cute. Especially his response when he found one. (Where did Ali get her skirt from last I saw she jumped off the boat without it!)
• Saying, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY as he is kissing her. . .
• And looking around for Chris Harrison when the card appears and asking if he is going to arrive in Scuba gear.
• And telling Ali that HE is reading the card when she reads it for him. Hilarious.
• His response to "do you want to?" [go to the fantasy sweet?] If you missed it. Rewind it.
• And saying, "G_ _, I love you" Whoa. For reals.
• He is 100% confident about it and how can that NOT be s*xy. I'm just sayin'.

Now, on to the "confrontation" first of all, I really give Ali some credit. She could have really ripped him a new one, and she didn't. She even threw her flip flops in the other direction. I would have thrown them right at Frank. She even gave him a hug? Huh? I am not sure I would have done that either, but she really seemed to show some restraint.

The only frustrating part was her, "This ALWAYS happens to me" thing. I can hardly believe she is saying that with two other guys COMPLETELY drooling over her. Does THAT ALWAYS happen to you Ali? Um, I don't think so. So, I think it is time to start lookin' at what you DO have instead of what you DON'T. And trust me, Frank was no "prize" just look at that beard and if you need a reminder, watch him dance at the concert. No. Thanks.

Alrighty kids. Once again, I would LOVE to hear how you are feelin' about this episode! Jeanelle is at girl's camp, and Holly is about ready to burst, so, if you find me. . .SAY HELLO and tell me what you think!

It was the best of times

It was the worst of times. You know when you think you have a REALLY great idea, and that it totally ends up being the worst idea EVER? Okay, it was still a really great idea, and would have been PERFECT if my youngest child was 3, and would have even been MORE perfect if I would have been more prepared, but whatevs.

I am stringing my vacation out longer, and longer and longer because my little sis Hillary (private blog) is JUST ABOUT ready to have her baby and I wanna see it! I left for cooler weather on June 25th, and I am STILL living out of my suitcase.

I have to admit, it is getting long in the tooth. More threats are being issued. EVERYONE had quite time IN THEIR OWN ROOMS today, but I am determined to see this new little addition to the family before I leave. But, if she doesn't show the whites of her eyes by Sunday, I guess it will be time to GIVE UP. I gotta get back to the real world of 116 degree weather and kids going back to school. (YIPPEE! Yeah, I am one of those mom's that gets excited about that) I think my kids will be happier too. Abby won't be up until all hours of the night. Wade will be back on a schedule, Jaxon needs the structure of school to keep me from wanting to tie him up and Kaylie. . . well. . . Yes, . . .let's talk about Kaylie for a moment.




I decided it would be LOTS of fun to head up the Snowbird Tram. You know, cool weather, mountains, SNOW. We packed up a lunch and headed up the mountain. I have to admit, I could have been a little more prepared. The mountain air makes you THIRSTY. One juice box per kid was NOT enough.

See? Isn't it SPECTACULAR? Who wouldn't want to take a look at this breathtaking view!

Or THIS breathtaking view! Oh la la!

Everyone LOVED the Tram Ride, except Kaylie. She made it up, but started to fuss about 3/4s of the way there. She seemed to do fine once we were up.

We had our lunch.

Played in the SNOW. Yes, I said SNOW. Wade DID NOT like that the ice made his toes COLD.

We ate cupcakes. And overall, I would say had a great time! We would have done more, because there is LOTS more to do, and had my littlest been a little older I am sure we would have maybe hiked down, gone down the alpine slide, done some "mining for gold". They have tons of activities up there, for a price of course. But over all I would say it is an excellent way to spend the day.

Our day however, was cut short because of this:

Lying on the floor. Screaming. All the way down, and for at least 5 minutes while we waited for the ride down. It is not a long ride. But it is . . . . long enough.
All the writhing and screaming on the floor of a very dirty tram leaves one . . . well, . . . dirty.

HURRAY FOR FAMILY ADVENTURES!

Dear Honeyville, Utah.

Dear Honeyville Utah,


View Larger Map

Thank you so much for having a gas station (eventhough it was older than the hills). I am soooooooooooooo glad you were open until 8:00 p.m. tonight. (Late for you folks out there). I am so glad one of your elderly citizens was outside watering his plants so I could make sure there was a gas station near by or else I would have been stranded with 4 tired kids who had been on the road for 11 hours.

NOT A GOOD SCENE, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

Anyway, I am sorry that you didn't have a bathroom and so Jaxon decided to "relieve" himself around the side of your general store building, and I am sorry you had to catch him in the act. Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go. Think about getting a public restroom, or at least letting small children use the employee one if they really gotta go. Mkay? (Hey, that ONE customer per day might need it!)

I am sorry to the poor clerk who must have though I was from another planet because I had NO IDEA how to buy gas from a pump without a credit card. I am sorry I asked stupid questions like, "What happens if it fills up before I hit how much I paid?" "Am I supposed to just guess how much will go in?" "Do you take credit cards?" I am from the BIG CITY. I just don't get those sorta things. And I am sorry to that same clerk who had to see my son exposed.

I know I should have checked my gas gauge in Pocatello at the Arctic Circle with the playland (did you know Arctic Circle created fry sauce? Ya. They did.) But, I seriously didn't think that I would run into trouble in between Pocatello and SLC with needing a gas station. I thought there would be plenty to choose from. Turns out, I ran out at JUST the WRONG time with no exits and/or gas stations near by. (Right about Honeyville if you couldn't guess) Oh well. I am learning.

Looks like I'm battin 1,000 with the gas gauge thing. (if you have not read this story, click on the link, you WON'T REGRET IT!)

So, thanks again.

Sincerely,

Lindsey


P.S. To Bloggy Buddies: I have a LOT of stories to tell from my trip, and since one involves a trip to the ER last night with Kaylie, I think I will be telling them backwards. I want to keep track of all the "fun" we had. Geez. Sometimes I can't believe my life, so, I document it here.

HOLLY'S BACHELORETTE RECAP HERE. HILARIOUS AS ALWAYS! PS- I am going to MEET Holly in REAL LIFE tomorrow night! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? Me neither. I love meeting my fake friends. Cuz, then they become REAL ones! :)

Bachelorett Re-Cap!

Sorry folks! It has been on Jeanelle's blog for a while now, but I am on VACATION. So, I forgot to rush to my blog.

Here is the link!

JEANELLE'S RE-CAP of THE BACHELORETTE

I am hoping to post something interesting soon!

Bachelorette Re-Cap

First of all, I would like to apologize to Holly because I gave her a bad time last week for putting up her post so late, yet, here I am, putting up my post late! I am on vacation and balancing obligations with vacations is not that easy. So, SORRY HOLLY! By the way, her post last week was particularly hilarious and if you missed it, you need to go back and read it because it was way too funny.

Second, I would like to thank Hillary (my sister) for letting me watch the Bachelorette last night with her. (And Trevor) The pregnant lady stayed up late just so she could watch with me. And everyone knows it is more fun to watch the drama unfold with someone else! Especially someone who has the fantastic ability to balance things on their stomach.

I can balance plates, but she can balance remotes.

It was a pleasure Hills, thanks. While we watched the show, we also partook of Cupcakes from the SWEET TOOTH FAIRY. Most commonly cited HERE. They were good, my review will follow in a few days, but I think I am still partial to Sprinkles. Just sayin'.

Alright, let's start.

It became BLARINGLY clear last night as to why Ali dropped her job to do the Bachelorette. Yes, so she could "find love" Gah. But it was OBVIOUSLY so she could get a FREE TRIP around the world. I could have SERIOUSLY thought of MUCH BETTER places to go. How 'bout PARIS!, ROME! MONACO! GREECE! Apparently she has been all those places and decided to really "go crazy" (literally) and hit the beautiful and bizarre lands of Iceland and Turkey. I can seriously hear the phone call now. Ali: "The only way I would EVER do this is if I can go to whatever locations I want to film, and get LONG hair extensions, FAKE EYELASHES (were those driving anyone else crazy last night?) and a FREE WARDROBE that I get to keep. Oh, and a photoshoot for InStyle Magazine." Whatevs, Ali.

They really let the drama unfold quickly last night. With THE SCANDAL! Everyone knew about it, right? If you didn't. You have been living under a rock. But seriously. There were so many fabulous moments, the only way to capture them is via bullet point. What was to like more?

• the shakey action cam filming the phone call in the US? How cheap was that! [Producers: Hey, do you think you could get someone over there with a video camera to film you? Girls: Sure. We will have the THIRD girlfriend come!]
• the number of rings it took them to answer the phone? Did they think it was going to have more drama if they did more rings? Let's cut to the chase people!
• the "Snooki Poof" that the girlfriend was wearing? (If you don't know what that is, google it)
• the crusty Justin had on his face when Ali came in to the guys room, nothin' says, "I love you and I am INTO THIS like a big old, "I just woke up" crusty.
• Chris Harrison. (He gets a few of his OWN bullet points.)

1. Was it just me? Or did he look like he was about to bust up laughing at every minute?
2. I love how he jumped out of his seat to sit closer to her in case she needed to cry on his shoulder.
3. Did anyone else notice the finger to the forehead while he was listening? He was seriously craking me up.

• How about the way Justin was running away from the camera? Jumping over planters? WHAT? That seriously could not have been better even if they had said, "Okay Justin! Jump over those planters so you look like a COMPLETE idiot!"
• How 'bout the voicemails being played as he is running away. An awesome "touch". Classic. The whole show could have been just that and it would have been equally hilarious.

Okay, I have had enough of Justin. And you?

Let' s move on to the bad hair week that Craig R was having. Did anyone notice the doofus (is that how you would spell it?) he looked like at the VERY beginning of the show when EVERY SINGLE GUY was wearing a hat, and he was wearing his a LITTLE too far back on his head ala farmer Joe? Not a good look man, not a good look.

How about the several times he was shot with actual hat head. Like he had just taken that hat off and all of his hair was pressed flat to his head. I am sorry, but throughout the WHOLE THING, Craig R. was looking worse and worse and Chris L was lookin' better and BETTER!

Craig R. never made it out of the "friendzone" as my sister was calling it and Ali's body language was CLEAR as CRYSTAL. Sorry Craig, whatever "connection" you thought you guys were having was um, non-existent. You could tell by all of the "fake laughing" Ali was doing during their date. Nothin', nada, NO CHEMISTRY. He still gives the most hilarious takes, and although I really liked him (aside from the hats and hair) he was outta there.

I am sorry, I know there are a LOT of Ty lovers out there. And YOU CAN HAVE HIM! Those turned out feet, that BIG HONKIN' MEDALLION that looks like a Transformer shield or something, the little black ankle socks he was wearing? Sorry Ya'll. I still don't get it. Just don't. Everything he said was CHEEZY. But even with all that, he COMPLETELY SHOT HIMSELF IN THE FOOT by saying, "Yeah, I divorced my wife because she loved her job and didn't want to be barefoot and pregnant." Oh, you didn't hear him say that? WELL HE DID! He totally did. It sounded like he was sayin' a whole lotta nuthin' but if you listened to him long enough, that is exactly what he was saying. He was just trying to say it so Ali wouldn't notice because she was OBVIOUSLY dedicated to her career. At the end, he tried to patch it all up by saying, "But, I don't feel that way anymore." huh.

Let's move on to Frank. Let me start by saying that there has never been a season of the Bachelorette where the guys have sat around and chatted like a bunch catty little girls more, and it cracks me up. I mean, Frank actually said, "He is the kind of guy you would date, but not the kind of guy I want to marry." He REALLY DID SAY, "I WANT TO MARRY". (Okay, I am pretty sure, but I don't have time to rewind it now, but that is what I wrote down) Which reminds me that Hillary's gaydar has gone off more than once in association with Frank and after seeing him in that white tank and brown sweater (which seems to be his only outfit) several times, I am starting to side with Hillary. That, and that he bought the weatherman's jacket in army green .. and we all know where the weatherman stands. Not to mention the EXTREMELY WUSSY BEARD, which I cannot believe he hasn't shaved ONCE. Give me a break! Can't you shave JUST ONCE? Did anyone else notice the background music for the date with Frank? Choir of angels? Really? I think that was going a little far. I know they were just trying to build up for the drama with next week, but it was really, really too much.

Speaking of the Drama for next week. If you go back to week ONE with Frank, he has always talked about how into Ali he is and blah blah blah. But he said, REAL things ABOUT Ali and about how much he liked her and was into her. Justin NEVER said things about Ali, he just said things like, I am here for the "right reasons" etc. But never personalized it. In my book, that makes Frank a BIGGER jerk for going that much further and taking up that much more of her time and "going there" with her. I know it didn't say exactly WHAT Frank's big issue is, but I think we all know where it is going. . . . He is in love with the Weatherman.

I don't have much more to say about last nights episode other than.

I like Chris in oil.

and

Trevor thinks you should never trust an insurance salesman named Roberto.

I've Been Featured!

Ah, that feels good.

Isn't it nice when something you've done gets noticed?

Yeah, it's nice.

#14. Chef for a Day

I've Been Featured!

I have been put to shame

Last night was the Bachelorette.

When I sat down to watch it at 8:01 p.m. (because that is the SPLIT SECOND after my kids go to bed) I found out something HORRIBLE.

Abby had cancelled my Bachelorette Timer to record Kitchen Wars or something like that. (I told you. . . Foodie) and I was livid.

I work hard people.

All day.

With 4 kids.

20 loads of freakin' laundry.

cleaning up the 200 messes that K makes, (okay, I usually only clean up 50 and leave the other 150)

Driving kids to camp, swimming, going to the gym, and lessons.

And DANG IT.

I just want to come home and watch my show IN PEACE AND QUIET at 8:01 p.m.

I got mad. Very mad.

Went down to my husband and cried about my lost show.

(Seriously I did- It musta been a long day)

And you know what?

He felt bad for me.

It was nice.

That someone would feel bad for me.

Because really, don't we all look forward to that one little reward at the end of the day?

Yours might be ice cream.

Mine is the Bachelorette. (and cookie dough)

TomaTOE, TomATO.

It reminds me of another little rant of mine. An oldie, but a goodie.

Speaking of the BACHELORETTE. You MUST go read Holly's Post. It is her week to re-cap this week and MAN, it was hilarious. She put me to shame.

You can check out the comments if you want my take. But really, Holly's is completely perfect in every way.

The Oldest

I had a lot of assumptions of who my eldest child would be.


-A boy
-Type A
-Go Getter


I was pretty much dead wrong on all accounts.

Of course this was all before she was born.

* Courtesy of Sarah Goodman Photography

NOW, I know that she is easy going (as long as she isn't too tired), a great eater (foodie), creative, free spirit that doesn't have a type A bone in her body. And those half moon eyes. . . those half moon eyes are her signature to the world. Love 'em. The one thing she is and will always be by name is her father's joy. Which is what Abigail means.

Sometimes that little free spirit clashes with her Type A mommy, but as of late, I have been enjoying it more and more. I love her creative and artisitc spirit and think that she is loads of fun.

Yesterday, I spent 6 hours at a pool, watching glittery little things walking around and dipping in and out of the water. Twirling arms and legs treading fast and furious. She fulfilled a life long dream of mine, and whomever my aquatics partner of the moment was. (Usually, Hillary or Stacy). She was in a Synchronized Swimming Event and won first place. (They may have been the only "rec" team participating, but who is counting right?) My sisters and I would spend hours upon hours choreographing our routines in the pool. NONE of which were as good as Abby's today. You can see her performance HERE.

Since that moment, I have heard nothing but, Synchro this and Synchro that. I think we have more Synchro in our future.

It is a whole new world of "knoxing", bobbypins, sequins and water. And it is all fine by me. Really, it is. I couldn't have enjoyed myself more at that pool. Okay, I would have enjoyed it more if I were IN the pool on a FLOAT. But, it was still great. Synchro, Synchro away.

Bachelorette Re-Cap

Okay, so, if you haven't figured it out by NOW, I am re-capping these episodes with some of my other Bachelorette Besties.

Holly was supposed to re-cap last nights episode, but her DVR didn't cooperate.

So, Jeanelle, who was supposed to do NEXT week, is doing it this week.

Don't worry, I still give my two cents on Jeanelle's comment section. Enjoy!

Irrational Fears

People have irrational fears.

Some revolve around garbage disposals, (not naming names)

Some revolve around bugs,

Some revolve around leaving electrical appliances on (ahem)

Some revolve around just about anything.

A long time ago, I found out that Wade was scared of SPIDERS.

And if you were annoyed by my post yesterday about my ridiculously cute and smart child,

you can now be put at ease, because he DEFINITELY has issues.


He is afraid of Spiders,

He is afraid of heights (seriously acrophobic)

and now, I am certain he is either afraid of rodents(who isn't)

or Zu Zu pet knock offs.

My Buddy and Me

I have a buddy.

He hangs out with me all day long.

He likes to hang out with me.

And I like to have him with me.
He is cute,


He is smart,

and he is funny.

And USUALLY super nice.

You would like him.

I don't wanna gloat (mkay, I kinda do), but he is 3, and he is reading.
Yup, reading.

*You can tell by the "How old are you" question, he is not a genius, he just REALLY wanted to learn how to read when I practise with Jaxon. This is how far we have gotten.

The Bachelorette Episode 3 Re-Cap

I am sooooooooooooo sorry it took me so long to get to this post! I wasn't able to watch the show until late last night, and as I was watching it, I thought to myself, "I need to be taking notes, because, I will never remember all the stuff I am thinking!" But, since I was in bed, with the covers up to my head, I never did get that note pad. So, I had to watch it all over AGAIN this morning, and take notes while I was watching so I didn't miss anything. Because, honey, you don't want to miss ANYTHING! It was just as funny, if not more the second time around too!

I was trying to decide HOW to re-cap when I was taking notes, because, let's face it, there are lots of options there. But then, a "theme" started to appear in my notes, so, we will go with a theme today, categorized by person. And the theme is going to be,

"PLEASE DON'T"

Let's start with Chris L. I guess, because I didn't load these up in any particular order! Chris L., Please don't get rid of that Boston Accent, it is endearing, and so are those pecks! (whoa).

Chris N, (Ryan Sutter look-a-like) Please don't ever wear those ugly 80's sunglasses EVER AGAIN! Oh wait, maybe you and Ali would look like an awesome 80's couple with your ugly glasses and her off the shoulder shirt.

Craig R., Please don't stop giving your take on every scene. They are always spot on. The producers obviously love them because you are pretty much the only one they put on there with your personal take, but I love 'em too, so, it is okay. I hear there is a job opening at American Idol. Think about it.

Frank, PLEASE DON'T wear that ugly beard anymore! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! It is not manly, it is SCRAWNY! I thought I told you that last week, but I guess you weren't listening. Please check Holly's blog next week for further instructions as I will be sure to leave more nasty comments about it. Oh, and one other thing, please don't wear your glasses on the top of your head unless they are sunglasses. It isn't cool. Oh, and sorry about this, but ONE MORE THING. Please don't ever ever EVER dance on national television again. You will thank me for that one. (Did anyone else catch that? Horrible)

Hunter, please don't wear your seat belt under your arm pit (I think it is the same shirt you have on in this picture) like a four year old. Just endure the wrinkles, okay? And although I LOVED having a Manny, please don't tell Ali that you want to be one on your first date. Your lack of ambition MIGHT be a turn off to Ali. I am just sayin'.

Beefcake, I mean, Jesse, Please don't wear a jean shirt AND jeans at the same time. You would have been better off with just the black shirt, and where was your suit anyway? You were at a ROSE CEREMONY! You shoulda looked your best! You were barely even on this episode... which probably means your beefcake ways aren't cuttin' it man.

John C., Please don't wonder aloud if Ali even knows your name, because you know what? She doesn't. Was that take of them in the bathtub too hilarious? Did you see his face when she got out? How about his face after he talked about his scene. Too much. Guess why they didn't re-do that take John, because it was JUST LIKE REAL LIFE! Sionara .

Weatherman, I love that that is what EVERYONE calls him. Jonathan, PLEASE DON'T say "Bare Naked Ladies" again. It looks bad coming out of your mouth. Please don't wear ANOTHER zippered jacket. Did you raid MJ's closet at Neverland Ranch? (Thanks Jeanelle! I was so tired last night I almost missed it!) And Please don't make EVERY interaction you have with Ali SO STINKIN' UNCOMFORTABLE! Geesh. Nothing says, "I'm uncomfortable" like wiggly scratchy fingers on the back after a kiss. Blech.

Justin, Please don't wear that ugly soul patch anymore. Because you have no soul. And PLEASE quit trying to get us to think you are a decent guy, because, we know you're not.

Kasey, Please don't talk anymore. It makes me want to clear my throat. And from the looks of it, it looks like you should keep your singing to yourself too.
Kirk, Please don't consider a career change into adult f*lms (don't want any google hits) because your romp on the video set was "so real". You acted like it was a bit too natural bud. Sorry.
ROBERTO, Please don't STOP being you, because you have got this in the BAG BABY! Kissing in the air was a GREAT idea, and I don't know if it was staged (okay, it was) but when you guys were looking into the sunset and you said, "I really want to see a lot more of these with you" I don't know what Ali was thinking, but I was pretty sure I would marry him. And that kissing? While laying down? I am pretty sure he was "feelin' it" because I SURE AS HECK WAS! (Okay, TMI, but you all know you were thinkin' it) Ps- Multi -LINGUAL esta muey S*XY!
Steve, Please don't get upset, but your helmet head would turn anyone off. Consider a new hair route. The picnic at the rose ceremony was cute, but too little too late. And please don't tell girls you have "fragile hands". Girls want TOUGH hands. BE TOUGH! (And please don't try to open a bottle of champagne on your own again)
Ty, please don't wear this ruffly shirt you have on in this picture EVER AGAIN unless you are in a Lawrence Welk skit on SNL. (Okay, I can see now that it is actually embroidered, but STILL!) And please don't wear that big medallion thingy again. It screams, "I HAVE NO FASHION SENSE OR DIGNITY!".

Was that it? Wow, that went by too fast! But I am forgetting one person.

ALI-

Please don't wear any more 80's clothes! It was NOT the most flattering decade. Please don't guffaw anymore when you are about to give someone a rose (ala Roberto's date) and PLEASE DON'T talk about how you know how it will "be" with someone when you are cuddling. Weird. And TMI.

K-thanks! Hope you enjoyed! Stop my Holly's blog next week for a re-cap post!