I know blogging was en-vogue, and then out of vogue and then I have no idea what it is now... just for professionals? Some people think they can only blog if they are funny. Or smart, or talented at something in particular.
Blogging is NONE of those things for me.
It is a total snapshot of my life.
And there are times when I have a minute that I look back on it with such fondness.
I think it because there is just too MUCH to talk about.
The holidays were good, but had a little bit of a let down.
The dog is still here, and getting "more trained"-- Still working on that one.
My kids FINALLY went back to school on Tuesday, and now they have ANOTHER day off on Monday.
I think I am getting overwhelmed by my kids.
Kaylie is turned over a new leaf. It is the iamcompletelydefiantthreeyearold leaf.
I don't like that particular leaf.
We just had two weeks of extremely slow business. Like, week ONE style business.
It was worrisome, but everyone in the biz insisted it is "normal" right after the holidays.
The switch was flipped yesterday and today to two of our biggest days to date.
It's been a little nuts.
Like making dough 'til midnight tough.
We got ousted from our ward.
I can hardly believe I am going to be in a "new ward" again tomorrow.
I am very very very exceedingly thankful that I did not MOVE to get in that new ward.
I will miss my "old" (wasn't very old to me) ward, because they are so loving, accepting, and have been overall amazing supporters of our family and our business, and BOY that was a nice change.
I am glad I didn't move away from those people, but I will miss them still the same.
I am watching the Bachelor, but I think I dislike Ben's Hair so much that I don't have anything to say.
But that Courtney's "how did that taste coming out of your mouth" was just about the sickest thing I have ever heard anyone say to someone. I dislike her greatly. They deserve each other. And yes, I will still watch every episode.
I am dying to make Poni popo.
I wish my kids would flush the toilet.
I like working at the store.
I am having other "life" conflicts right now that sometimes weigh me down.
Most of the time, life is very, very good here, and we are very very happy in our new not so new home town.
I almost did a post about something other than the Bachelor last week. Seriously! I almost did! It would have been awesome. . . but, The Bachelor is almost over, so, soon. Soon.
I am sorry I didn't get a post about the show up last week! I was watching it with a friend and was able to get all of my, "Whaaaaaaaaaaa?" "No she DIDn't" and "huuuuuuuuh?" moments out.
Most of them had to do with what Chantel chooses to wear. I am sorry. I don't like that kind of cattiness. I really don't. I refuse to let my kids talk that way, I usually don't like hearing OTHER people talk that way, but seriously. Chantel was not lookin' her best. . . oh wait. . . was she ever? All I can think back on is the many poor choices in dresses at the rose ceremonies. I wish I could do a montage. Holly seems to be able to find any screen shot she wants. Holly, will you please put together a montage of Chantel's poor dress choices? Thanks.
Moving on. . no, that CAN'T be all I can say about the African Safari, can it? Nope. First of all, back to what they were wearing. I have to hand it to Emily to always look freakishly perfect even in the jungle with ratty un-curled hair. Seriously. Props to that girl. She always looked hot. I know that is the reason SOME of you don't like her, but, really, she seems super-de-duper nice. Doesn't she? I really have not found a down side to that girl. I like her. Plus, every man needs a woman who can bring him down a notch. And I am not saying that Emily cuts him down or anything, but Brad seems like a rambunctious puppy. And Emily just might be the calming nature he needs to finally "settle down".
Speaking of rambunctious puppy. . .
See that there in the driver's seat? That is Brad's twin brother driving the car. I sure hope they are somewhere in the desert because he is drinking a Bud-light while driving, and I am pretty sure that is illegal. Why bother with the seat belts guys? But you can see Brad the puppy in the back seat. He might as well have his head stuck out the window with his tongue flapping in the wind. Ladies. Does this video say 38 year old man to you? I think not. Emily, Chantal. . you can have him. But then again, I have never been a huge Brad fan. However, he might be ready for a real relationship THIS time. But we all know how long these relationships last.
I was laughing last night that his "significant other" told him to not be too happy to see the women from the show. HA! Already got a grip on that guy huh? That seems more like a Chantal move, than an Emily move. If Emily did say that. . she said it in that super sweet southern drawl, and didn't really insist. And the video montage they showed last night of Brad being a spaz. . . like I said. Puppy.
Okay, let's move on now to the Women tell all, and the most important details of the night. First off, if they pick Ashley H. to be the new bachelorette, I will be seriously disappointed. Like, DeAnna Papas disappointed. And if you have been with me through all the Bachelorette seasons, you should know that is VERY DISAPPOINTED! I just started to get really irritated by her whining and "do you like me" insecurities. I don't think she would be that much fun to watch. Seriously. But, you all know I will. I would NEVER go so far to say that I won't watch. DUH. WINNING.
Just kidding. What would a blog post be without a reference to the biggest melt down this week. Classic.
Okay, now on to Michelle. She drove me crazy. But watching her last night was weird. I didn't feel bad for her, because hey, you put yourself on a reality show, and that is what you are going to get, but EW. . . Alli really showed HER ugly side. Yuck. I am not saying Michelle should have left her 5 year old at home. We all know that she went on the show to "further her career" and I am sure she thought that was going to be great. But can you imagine the backlash you are going to get from a 5 year old if you have been gone for a month? I can't.
She was probably regretting it at that point.
And as for her craziness. It was clearly an act. Or was the crying last night. I don't know, you tell me. What I saw was a girl who is a little insecure, a LOT over exposed, and I dunno. But she did give us the best entertainment of the season. Thanks Michelle!
On a last note. Did you hear Reality Steve was wrong? That is what he is saying. You know what I think? I think the Bachelor producers are having a complete heyday wreaking havoc on Reality Steve and spoilers or not. I still can't figure out who he chooses. They haven't shown him standing out by himself until last night. And they have only shown Brad crying (hard) on Emily's shoulder. . which is strange, and getting mad at Chantal and her saying, "After all this, you better put a ring on my finger!" Nice touch Chantal. I think I may have said something like that right before I got engaged, but there wasn't a "plan B" or "second option" waiting in the wings. I may have saved that little morsel until AFTER you have the ring on your finger. No?
Happy watching kids! I have read the spoilers and I seriously STILL don't have any clue who he is going to pick, but I can't wait to find out!
Can you believe I hit 600 posts on my last post? I shoulda celebrated with a giveaway or somethin'! Sorry about that! I will be more attentive. No. Really. I will. . .
So, honestly. Are we all ready for the longest season in Bachelor history to be over yet? I know, they all have about the same number of episodes, but no one has explained to me why this one is dragging on and on and ON!!! I guess it is because he doesn't have any freak-shows left. Even Michelle wasn't compelling enough. With Jake, he had us all SCREAMING until the end. . ."NOT VIENNA!!!!!" But, apparently, it was already sealed in Reality heaven.
With Brad, he has been so darn reasonable this season I would be fine with any of these girls. I feel bad for Shawntel though. I mean, seriously. She was a great girl. Wasn't she? Yeah, the funeral home thing was creapy. . but still! She's a catch! So normal and down to earth and not even overly dramatic at the end! (Except for the whole death as a career thing. . . )Her biggest mistake was laying him on that table. No, not telling her dad that moving out of state MIGHT be an option. No, it was telling brad about draining blood. . .okay, there were lots of mistakes. But she really was just being herself. And how can you fault her for that. She was great. I hope she finds a nice guy who likes death soon.
Ashley is a spaz. Enough said. Okay, that is not enough said. I am all with Brad, she doesn't seem ready and I can't BELIEVE she didn't say how much she liked him (as pointed out by arm chair psych Chris Harrison)! She is crazy. NO really. She is. But, let's just chalk it up to being young and really, it just seems like she's not ready! So full of insecurities. Those obviously come up again in Africa.
Let's talk about Chantel. OH. MY. GOSH. Did you get a LOAD of that house????? Yeah, Brad can see himself visiting there A LOT. MEEEE TOOOO! Talk about living the good life. But I gotta hand it to her. Even though she grew up in that honker house, she still seems pretty normal. Her mom and dad need to lay off the plastic surgery though because those un-natural shiny faces were a little spooky, no? And we got a fine look at where Chantel gets her crazy (insert skanky) fashion sense from! With all that money can someone find some better clothes? Or shop their AGE??? Alright. . . alright. I am getting kinda catty. But seriously. The only other thing I can say is. . . Just how old is her dad anyway? Cuz he and Brad were lookin' just about the same. Anyway, it really did seem like Chantel's family was the best fit, and I would marry her for that cute dog. And I HATE little dogs. But what the heck was that thing? It looked like a teddy bear! Seriously, what kind of dog WAS that?
Finally, Emily. Oy. That whole thing was just painful. Wasn't it? I just couldn't take it any more. All of the awkward mommy/child moments. I don't know. I mean, they would make a great couple, but I don't think Brad is ready for daddyhood. I mean, he couldn't even get over kissing AFTER the kid went to bed! Wow. He is crazy. I sure hope he gets over that before he HAS kids. I mean, how is he going to get over childbirth!? I know she is sweet as pie, and super patient with Mr. Awkward, but seriously. It isn't happening. I think I would choose Chantel over her too.
But what really gets exciting is the teaser for next week! Emily denying the fantasy suite, and what was that crack he threw out to Chantel? Kinda like, well you've been crazy and normal, what am I gonna get next?!?!?! (Hmmmm. I think my husband has said that to me before. . . must be a match made in heaven) We'll see!!!
I am playing a game on Facebook if you want to play, and it is . . . . Name your favorite over-used "Brad-ism". You can check it out there. I would have listed them and counted all of them for you, but I am away from the TV tonight!
It is a sad sad time when I can't blog anything but the bachelor. It is funny, because I will look through my photos and think, "Why didn't I blog about that?" But to be honest, sometimes, I just can't blog.
So, back to the Bachelor. . . There were only a few things that really came to mind. First of all. I love Rambo Brad. . . "breakin' all the rules" Brad. . . I mean, honestly. . . If he did something the producers didn't like, they would just edit it out! Have you ever heard Trista say that Alex Michele (or who ever he was) TOLD her that he was going to pick her? Yet, you never saw that (It was probably in the fantasy suite . . ahem) But anyway, if they said something "they weren't supposed to say" it can always end up on the editing floor.
Let's go to Brit's date. BORING. Wow. You could really feel the distance. There was just no chemistry whatsoever! So, kudos to Brad for sending her packing. However, I am with Michelle, what a waste of a yacht! WOW. And, to be honest, I was starting to get extremely uncomfortable with Brit in her bikini. . .if the camera adds 10 lbs, I don't want to see that in person. It made me hungry just looking at her. I am sooooooooooooooooooooooo not somebody who judges body types, but how hilarious was Chantel with her fat day. What a bummer to be having a fat day during an SI photoshoot. I understand all of the emotions going on there at that little photo shoot. And leave it to Michelle to manipulate the situation to her advantage. She is a master, and my hat is off to that girl.
I also want to give Brad a big thumbs up for realizing what kind of a situation that was. Nutso. At least he recognized it, and acknowledged it. That probably could have worked a few episodes ago, but not with the last few girls. Too many attachments there. But hey, he realized it! But was anyone else completely floored when he gave "You're SCARING me!" Ashley the rose? First of all, show some confidence GIRL! And second of all. . . what a blind side to Chantel! I have to admit, if I had dropped the "love" word and didn't get a rose out of three girls on a group date, I would have come unglued too. That said, I am all for a girl "sticking it" to a guy. **Sidestory** I dated a guy once, who was playing coy. . .I was starting to get frustrated with his games, and put a sign up on the back of my bedroom door that said, "IT'S HIS LOSS" in big huge letters. I never intended him to see it, but when he came to "break up" with me (we weren't dating exclusively), the only available room in our crowded Sunday night apartment was my room. . Guess what he saw on his way out. Snap! End of Sidestory**** I was kind of wishing Chantel would just hold her head up high and walk away, leaving Brad to want to chase her a little. But, she didn't.
A quick note about Emily. He all but proposed to her! And I have to admit, I know people don't like her (hi Ashley!) But, I do. She is super sweet and has really not once show a bad side of herself. Not that there isn't one, but the fact that she can go through this complete experience and come out smelling like a rose is pretty amazing to me. I mean, just compare her to Chantel for just a second. She makes Chantel look like a completely immature, wreck of a girl. Knowwadimean? Seriously. After last night, as awkward as they were in their little private moment, I was instantly pulling for Emily. I also understand Brad's reservations though. . that history with her boyfriend, and even the fact that she is calling her little girl by HIS name every single day. . WOW. Don't know if ANYONE is going to get past that.
Last but not least (I had a lot more to say about this episode than I thought!) Michelle's departure. ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?? ? ? ?? ?? Was anyone else seriously confused? For her to be completely silent is well. . . unbelievable? I mean, YOU KNOW the producers were in her face asking her a million how do you feel questions, and they didn't even get a "I AM NOT GOING TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS" answer!!??!?! I can't believe it. Not even a quote after an hour? Wow. She went mute. Who woulda thought. But again, kudos to brad for seeing the A-bomb when he meets one. She is fire and he is no lamb. . Their relationship would have been a nightmare. I am amazed that he was able to stay out of her flaxen cord. . .
I am on cold meds. . . forgive me. I can barely put together a sentence in speaking, much less writing. . . but, since I missed last week, I can't bare to miss two weeks in a row.
There were some fab moments on last nights show. But, we have to start with super scary stalker Michelle. Was it just me? Or did he NOT seem very happy to be seeing her in his suite that night she "dropped" in to see him. It seems kinda reminiscent of another conversation he had with one of the girls he booted in week two. You know when he says, "Ohwkay" in that thick southern drawl and doesn't make eye contact that you are not in a good place with Brad. He definitely has some "tells". I.e. I am just not into you. . . . She is so creepy, overbearing, and manipulative. And I can't believe Brad takes it! I see a time in the not so near future where he decides it's not his cup of tea, but I wish is would have been last night, because she is starting to suck the fun out of the show, and everyone on it!
What about Chantal? With the I LOVE YOU. I do like the fact that she said it at a time when it wasn't going to make a difference and I LOVED her analogy that she knew she was in love with him when her feelings started to turn into caring about him, instead of caring for herself. Very heartfelt and poignant. But why does she have to ruin it next week by going back to drama land? I don't like the fact that she swings so wildly back and forth. Let's just stay in one place shall we?
I did feel like it was a TITCH early. . .Still with 5 girls left. Just a little early on that one. But whatevs. If she is feelin' it, she is feelin' it. I love how she keeps Michelle on a stick too. She completely forced Michelle into a corner. No wonder those girls don't like each other.
The date with Ali was PAINFUL. . . oh. . there was more to the statement of "we are sinking" than the actual fact they were sinking into the pool. They were sinking in every other way too. It was one of the most painful dates to watch in a LONG time. Evidence that he has kept Ali for way too long. A total waste of a date in my opinion. He should have just given that date to someone else and sent her home at the rose ceremony. Boy. That was painful. And can we just get rid of Brit, please?
I am starting to lose my patience. . is it just me? Or does it seem to be taking FOREVER to wittle down to the final few. It is probably just evidence that I have read the spoilers that I am starting to get impatient. Let's get to the GOOD stuff!
*Chantal playing a mind game with Michelle over the fact her card doesn't have the word "love" in it. HILARIOUS! Well played Chantal.
*Michelle's back eye. Hysterical on So.Many.Levels.
*Michelle constantly icing her eye. With just about any frozen item out of the freezer. Even a popsicle with the awkward wrapper still on.
*Michelle's interviews. ALL OF THEM.
*Michelle's grumpiness. I mean, can Brad not see it from a mile away? I mean, you don't want to cross that girl. If he does it once, he will be in her dog house FOREVER! Do you wanna marry that?
*Ashley and the number of times she said, "uuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" It was redonkulous and became totally and completely irritating, and did you notice that she went from super cute girl on that first date, to NOT SO CUTE? I mean, it is almost like her whole face changed! Is it her hair? Or just the fact that she hasn't smiled in three weeks?
*The exit interviews: Finally some girls with their heads on! (They all took my, "What not to say class")
*Sending home THE RIGHT ladies. . except for Lindsay. She was a class act. Maybe a little on the boring side, but I would take her over Britt. What the heck does he see with BRITT? (PS- Ashley was about to get that rose before she started in with the uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuughhhhhhhhhhhhh! on that date. Awkward.)
Disappointments:
*The fact that Brad is digging Michelle. Ew. I watched a trailer for her movie and she totally plays, HERSELF. Like, it seems like that is all she ever is. . . .an act. A crazy act. If I didn't know the premise of the movie, I would say she was playing some Glenn Close roll like in Fatal Attraction. Seriously. She even looks crazy when she is supposed to be playing "sweet". Ps- that movie looks horrible.
*The interview they cut to of Chantal where she had crazy blue mascara on! WHAT THE HECK? First of all, that interview was totally out of the blue, she wasn't even wearing the same clothes, and then the BLUE EYESHADOW! I am sorry, but as much as people try, that look will NEVER come back. . . Don't even get me started with Chambray coming back this spring. No. No. No. Chambray is, was, and always will be a bad idea. Speaking of bad ideas, what was with Chris Harrison's Mr. Rodgers's outfit? (Totally stole that one, but couldn't resist)
*Ashley's earrings at the rose ceremony. Please tell me someone else saw those horrid 80's turquoise (but not REAL turquoise, but PLASTIC turquoise) earrings she was sporting that looked completely ridiculous. Seriously? She and Chantal need to let the 80's dream DIE! IT IS NOT COMING BACK!
Any other major disappointments? That is all I can think of!
Hello from the desert! Okay, I normally am in the desert, but this time I AM in the desert. Like somewhere between PHX, and Indio. Those who live in PHX know it well because it is a huge stretch of land with nothin' to look at for miles, and miles, and I have lots of fond memories of this road from when I was traveling it with a 2 month old who blew out her diaper right as I ran out of gas. PS- I was by myself with that 2 month old and 3 other kids. It was a good time.
Anyway! Isn't technology so cool? My hubby has wi-fi anywhere your cell phone works. I am blogging, and he is listening to talk radio (ew) and we are on our way to Cali while some old people watch our kids. (LOVE THOSE OLD PEOPLE! )
I aaaaaaaaaaalllllllllmost didn't write my bachelor re-cap, but I decided that I needed to keep up with my commitment to society by writing my blog posts. :) Ya, I know all 12 of you who read my blog for these updates. This is how much I love you.
So, let's start with the title, shall we? Brad. I am sorry. I misjudged you. Actually, I didn't misjudge you. I was right, you were a total commitment phobe. But with your dedicated therapy sessions, you have decided to not be such an un-emotional troll. YAY YOU! I am seriously proud of you bud. And your therapists. I have been thinking lately that I need one of those, and with the progress they made with you, I think I might be signing up soon .
Okay, now that that is off my chest, let's move on with the dates. Ashley. Sweet girl huh? Cute story about the Seal song, but seriously, these producers this season are out for some blood. I mean, do you really thing that was just a coincidence? Seriously? No, it wasn't. They wanted an emotional tear fest, and they got one. I am sure at one point in one interview at some time they said, "What is the most meaningful song to you, and why" and BAM. They have their first date with Ashley. And then making Emily get on a small private JET??? Wow. Seriously. Way to make a girl have a nervous break down.
I really liked Ashley, she was super cute, actually is anyone else surprised by the girls this season? I mean, all of the dates so far have been so NORMAL. I mean, they seem like really nice girls! (Except Michelle, Puh-lease. . . no one can like her, not even her own mother. Oh, that was mean, sorry.) My sister said how excited she was to watch Michelle's crazy. Especially with the fireworks over the head hand move, which she did several times BEFORE the kiss, and then afterword? No fireworks. Did anyone else notice this? Weird. She didn't even say that there WERE fireworks when they kissed, so, I guess we know where Michelle rates.
We all LUHUV Emily, right? But did anyone else think . . . . BORING. . . on their date? I mean, she is like the Brad of Bachelor past. An un-emotional troll. (Very very cute and sweet troll) But, unless she was talking about Rickybobby, she was all straight faced, and not so fun. I don't think she is ready for all of this. Not by a long shot. And, even though your fiance died, and you have a child with him, don't you think it is relationship napalm to mention how fantastic your ex was and how amazing he is? I mean, no one is ever going to think they can stack up to that. She needs to come up with a better way to describe him to her new boyfriends, or that might be the only one she ever has. Just sayin'.
And Madison, everyone thought what Madison did was sooooooooooooooo valiant. And it was, the right thing to do. However . . . the biggest shocker to me was. WHO THE HECK WAS THAT LAST GIRL HE GAVE A ROSE TO? I HAVE NEVER SEEN HER BEFORE!
Was last night's show a boat load of crazy last night or what?
Let's start off with the most DRAMATIC event of the evening shall we?
First of all, I am sooooooooooooooooooo sick of . . . "Let's go shoot a TV spot" I can hardly stand it.
And it looks like they are going to do another one NEXT week! I mean come ON! I think that is enough. Really. Enough.
Michelle is. . . scary. The throw a fit cuz it's my birthday seemed the do the trick, but was anyone else tired of her constant interviews? It is like they don't interview ANYONE but Michelle, and Chantal! How many times was Chantal interviewed last night? 20. And how many times was she seen even talking to Brad. 0. Michelle does make great train wreck tv though, she is spooky scary.
The strangest part is when she pulled Brad away before he could even finish his toast to ask him the two most important questions she could think of. . . .Where does he buy coffee? And what does he stock his refrigerator with? Seriously? I side with Emily on that one. Who cares. Michelle. But she is the ONLY person who does.
Let's talk about the girl fight between Melissa, and Raichel (who spells it that way? seriously?) Anyway . . . . . that is all I can think about that. . . . . It was dumb. . . . . okay, I have more to say.
It was dumb. And Melissa looked like she was completely making things up, and her random thoughts about pizza while she is crying is cukoo. It was obvious Brad thought so too. Good choice to get rid of both. That way, it doesn't seem like he is taking a side.
The STRANGEST thing was the people that Brad chose to take on single dates!!???!??!?!??!???!?
Now, I can't really recall, and I already deleted it, but was Ashley H. the one last week who said she wanted to make him feel comfortable and have fun and totally set him at ease? Because if that was her, that date makes sense.
But. . . Jackie? That one came out of no-where. And what does an "Artist" do anyway. I would really like to know. But she seems so quirky -the New York City Artist- quirky, and seems like the last person alive who would want the "Pretty Woman Dream Date". She is more the, take a picnic to the park kinda girl, so, it just sat weird with me the whole time. Am I alone? It was weird. ESPECIALLY when Train started singing that "Marry Me" song. Talk about UNCOMFORTABLE. I mean, they have known each other for 2-3 days, and have gone on one date, and have seen each other about 2.5 times, and they are singing MARRY ME? Do they have another song they could sing? Are these dates seeming a little weird at such an early stage? Or is it just me? What happened to the "adrenalin date?" which is usually pre-determined to decide who the person picks? (Hello Ali, and Jake!) That would have been a more appropriate date for this stage. No?
Anywho. The person who wins most pathetic for the evening is: Keltie.
Oh, Keltie. Even if your hopes and dreams are shattered PLEASE don't lose your self dignity on national television and say you've tried everything???!!! That is just so, so, so SAD on sooooooooooo many levels. Can you just keep that to yourself? Yes, you can say your bummed. Yes, you can say it stinks.. But please don't act like you life is over.
For any future Bachelor contestants, I am willing to do "WHAT NOT TO SAY" coaching so that you don't ruin the rest of your life with anything you might say on the Bachelor. You can just e-mail me. I will be glad to be of service. And was is just me? Or did she look like she had Mickey Mouse ears on with that crazy hair do at the Rose Ceremony? Every time the camera flashed my her I thought. . is someone wearing Mickey Mouse ears??? Oh. . no. . it is just Keltie's hair.
Let's just all agree, the first night of the Bachelor is boring. Too many girls to keep track of.
Let's start with Brad's repentance.
Adequate.
That is all I can think of. You know? I mean, I nailed it right on the head. The guy was a commitment phobe. But at least he is willing to admit it now right? I am not sure, if I was one of those girls, that him saying that would make me feel any better. But he did it. So, GO BRAD!
The DeAnna and Jenni moment was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo reality T.V. And can I just state for the record that I am DONE with DeAnna? That smug look. That attitude. Yuk. I can't stand her for another minute! Please! Do we have to have more DeAnna?? Let's not. Mkay?
Not that I am a Brad lover... I am not. Maybe he will win me over, but I kinda doubt it.
Let's get on to the ladies.
Okay, let's not.
Except for a few.
There really are too many girls. I mean, they are up to 30 now????? When it all started, wasn't it like 20? Are they just trying to confuse the poor guy SUPER bad now? Or what? I have to admit, the "real-ness" factor this season was up. I mean, the girls seemed more "real" I know that is an oxymoron since they are on a Reality TV show, but it really did seem that way! All except for . . .
Vampire girl. Totally lame. Totally. All the looking over her shoulder, flipping hair. Seriously? Ugh.
And of course, our little Salt Lake City girl. . . um. wow. Did you see the dress? Did you see the SLIT? Crazy. She seems a little crazy too.
No one else stood out to me as a total nut job, but hey, it has been at least 24 hours now since I watched it, but I will tell you who I DID like.
Little southern Belle... However, it seems like she really does somethin' to tick Brad off. She almost seems like a female version of Brad. . . I like you buuuuuuuuuuut.....
What did you think?
PS- what is with girls crying on the first night??? Weird. If you leave on the first night, don't CRY about it!?
Well, if you have been reading this blog for any length of time, you know that I have a slight obsession with the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise. It is true. I think it is because I spent many years as a Bachelorette and feel like I have quite a bit of insight in the whole "dating" realm. I have several "theories" which someday I will write in a book and call it. . . ok, I don't have an idea for a book, nor do I have a fictional book title. I DO however, take pride in my ability to make the call with the Bach/Bachelorette finalists and if you have been reading you know that my call with DeAnna Pappas AND Brad Womack was SPOT ON. I am sure I have nailed a few others, but, whatever. . I am not here to talk about that tonight.
What I AM here to talk about is . .. THE MORMON BACHELORETTE, which, quite frankly, STOLE MY IDEA, which I consider intellectual property (learned that from watching the movie The Social Network) and I plan on suing them for millions later in life when they make millions. Or, I at least want to be invited to the wedding when Aubrey finds her man, oh, and I want credits on the website. Enough said.
One of my Bachelor/Bachelorette followers clued me in to the site which has taken on the task of finding Aubrey Messick an eternal companion. And no, it is not a joke. I am quite certain, if I was still single, and living with a bunch of great women that I would have totally come up with this idea on my own, so, kudos to them for taking it as far as they have. I would have been no match against Aubrey's style though. She always looks effortless and amazing. Anywho, when I first visited the site, they had a few "applicant videos" that were. . .well, horrible. And I couldn't even finish watching some of them. However, a little time has gone by, and now Aubrey has been on COUNT 'EM 22 DATES! WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I started watching a few of these dates tonight, and I have to admit, it made me want to walk around with a video camera following my every move and have a complete soundtrack to my life. (Ps- I am LOVING the music they have put to all this!) There have been all sorts of dates, and even a SCANDAL. Which, since I wasn't following the site daily, I missed. Sadly. (I am seriously making this easy for you with all of these links. . .)
Anywho, if you are one of my Bach/Bachelorette followers, this could probably entertain you for hours. So. . ENJOY.
PS- I have not watched all of the dates yet, but I am going to make the call right now that LARRY is going to make it into the finals because A-He is cute, and B-he got to spend the most time with Aubrey (he has acted as the camera guy on a few dates) and C- he got under a table to video her legs. . . Just sayin' .
And if there is anyone out there who wants to follow me around with a video recorder all day, I am sure my life would make for some interesting moments. So, I am open.
Did you watch last night? I wasn't very excited about this year. Just not very exciting contestants. Let's be certain about one thing, as much as everyone hated her, Kate makes compelling reality tv, and I was always DYING to see what she was going to do this week and what crazy fight she was going to get into with nice guy Tony. Know what I mean?
Seems like this year is kind of a snooze fest, BUT, I will admit that I watched Jennifer Grey's dance last night 5 times. It was awesome, it was compelling, and I like Derek's hair this year. (I have a "thing" about hair styles. . . Just ask my husband-- I consider him 8 to 10 times more attractive if he has just gotten a haircut. . . I digress) But, Derek's hair DOES make a difference, and that dance was so fun, and exciting last night. I loved it. I am starting to forget about Julianne being gone. . . bad news for her, good news for Derek. Everyone else on the show is a COMPLETE SNOOZEFEST though, and puhlease . . . . How mean was it to put an old guy (Michael Bolten) with cute little thing Chelsie Hightower. I feel so bad for her. Michael needs to go. Serious. For Chelsie's sake.
THE BACHELOR
It was leaked last week on People that Brad Womack was going to be the next Bachelor. Ugh.
The Commitment Phobe? AGAIN??????? If you don't remember, Brad ticked off every woman on the planet by not choosing someone at the end of the Bachelor. For those of you who say, "GOOD FOR HIM! It is just a reality show!" I say, "YOU DIDN'T WATCH IT!" He seriously demonstrated perfection in the definition of "COMMITMENT PHOBE" and I am pretty sure there is a picture of his mug in the dictionary next those words.
The only thing worse than a commitment phobe is a SLIMY commitment phobe. You can even watch him and his interview on Ellen where he admits to TOTALLY LEADING THEM ALL ON!.
Anywho. Even better, Chris Harrison admitted to Ryan Seacrest the other day that Brad was indeed a commitment phobe and has been receiving THERAPY FOR IT! I would totally love to say that I am just not going to watch this all go down, but you know I am. You know it. I am such a sucker.
PS- I love Chris Harrison. Here is what he put on his Facebook page about Brad. As you saw announced Brad as our new Bachelor last night on DWTS. I know many of you have valid concerns and questions. All I can ask or tell you is give the man a chance to prove himself. If he lets you down he's all yours' and I'll help hold him down for ya!
And that is why I love Chris Harrison. Because he is willing to hold down Brad Womack so we can all get a shot at him. Love it.
SURVIVOR
Not totally invested yet. I had to finished watching Master Chef before my Tivo could catch Survivor (conflicting time slots) Anywho, was last weeks Tribal Counsel the biggest blunder EVER? Sure seemed like it!
Alrighty folks. I don't know what happened to Holly, but since she hasn't posted her re-cap, I will do a little ditty. Don't get too excited because I can't re-hash it all. It has long been deleted from my DVR, but I have to say,
I enjoyed it.
It was like UMPTEEN MILLION times better than when Jake chose that freakshow Vienna(Betcha he is sad he did that!) I think it was because of the genuineness of the people. Although Ali's love for Frank bugged me (he was SO weird), she won my heart over in the long run with her level head and big heart.
I don't think I remember thinking that a Bachelorette/Bachelor couple would make it as much as I think these two will. That being said, the chances are slim, of course. But do you remember Andrew Firestone and Jen Scheft? I really did think they were going to make it. And they dated for what... almost a year before breaking up? She was smart, and level headed too, and she proved it by not choosing ANY of the guys when she was the Bachelorette! (Smart girl) Eventhough they didn't make it, I think I am rooting for Ali and Rerberto (spelling error intended) as much as I was rooting for Andrew and Jen. And now look at Andrew and Jen, they are both happily married (not to each other albeit) but to others and are living very stable lives. (Not much can be said for the rest of the heaping pile of dysfunctional Bachelors/ettes.)
WHICH LEADS ME TO MY NEXT ISSUE.
As much as it maybe a temptation. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT MAKE CHRIS L. THE NEXT BACHELOR.
REALLY.
He is just too nice of a guy. I mean, a former school teacher, who coached kids and left his job to care for his convalescing mom? Seriously? I mean, I see why Ali didn't choose him. He is reserved. (Did you see some of his outtakes though? Seriously funny) And Ali is a fruit pie. She is as nutty as they come, and Rerberto loved it. And although he isn't as nutty, he TOTALLY accepts her nutty-ness and calls it cute and her perfect. So in my opinion, she picked the RIGHT GUY FOR HER. But not the right guy. Know whatimean?
Chris L. *Sigh*
And kudos go to Ali for leaving the Bach team and their producers in a lurch when she sent Chris home. FINALLY someone who does something for the right reasons, no matter what the consequences. She did the right thing, we all knew it. And at that moment, for a slight second, I thought. . . you know? This show is inspiring...... JUST KIDDING.
I liked it. I wasn't quite sure leading up that Rerberto was going to take the plunge, but it looks like he did, both literally and figuratively. The guy was COVERED in sweat. (So, stinkin' romantic--NOT) Chris Harrison's blog said that he also fell into the water when he was getting out of that boat AND that he had to climb a LONG WAYS to get up to that platform. Poor guy. Why didn't they just CHOPPER him in?
Loves to you all who wanted a re-cap. THERE.YOU.GO.
You could STILL totally get the citrus press. . . FOR FREE.
If you hosted a catalog party with me.
Serious! I don't care if you live in Timbuktwo!
(Pampered Chef will totally ship there, I am sure!)
I can set you up on my website and you can have all of your friends order and then guess what. You STILL get FREE PRODUCT AND I will throw the citrus press in too.
Because I am nice like that.
And because I like FREE STUFF as much as the next person.
So,
If you are not KATIE! Who said, "I would love to win this! I make a lemon cake that requires TONS of fresh lemon juice and I hate squeezing them by hand!" (Number 38 by Random.org)
Then you can host an on-line party and STILL get your citrus press for FREE.
Awesome.
Come on, wouldn't it be nice to STILL get something for FREE?
PS- I WILL be doing my customary blog post on the Bachelorette, but I will be waiting my turn, because I have "Joined Forces" with Jeanelle and Holly, both of which obsess equally as much as me on The Bachelor. :) Holly will be posting tonight (or tomorrow - NO PRESSURE HOLLY!) and Jeanelle will do next week. I will be privileged enough to do week 3. We all started saying/thinking/and feeling the same thing anyway, so, it just made sense!
Jason and Molly's wedding was last night. Ok, it was really February 27th, but it "aired" on TV last night. Of course, I didn't watch it until today and boy, did it make for some great entertainment.
If you are keeping track, that is a mere 4 days after the "finale" of flying' Jakes show. Did you love the re-cap of how "in-love" they are? (Oh don't try to pretend you didn't watch it.) To be honest, the thing that struck me most is that Jake DID TRULY act like he was in love with Vienna. And when he said, "I have no doubt that we will be getting married someday" I believed him. And then, when she looked at him, smiled and said, "Yeah" and patted his leg, I so DID NOT believe her! Was that just me? Or was that vibe as 'bout as clear as crystal?
I love the, "where are they now" segments that the Bachelor does. It is like they know they have a bad wrap for not having successful relationships so they just have to pound it down every one's throat that INDEED they have a few couples together, but Charlie and whatshername? Please. They are as 'bout as solid as. . . their house they are going to buy. Just not very. I mean, I would like for them to stay together, but from the looks of it, not so much. I give them a 30% chance.
Ed and Jillian. I just tried to find a post from their season, and guess what? I can't! How weird is that! I know I posted about Ed at some point, but when I search for ed on my blog, it comes up with every ending of a word. Crazy. Well, anyway. Good for them. I am still not sure on the commitment level. It seems a little sketchy, but I am glad they got past the whole "scandal" and actually seem like they maybe still like each other. I was rooting for Ed anyway, so, it is nice to see they may have made it through the "drama". Time will only tell, but I give these guys, 50/50.
Deanna? Deanna Pappas? Is that you? With the break-dancer's BROTHER???? Did anyone else think that was a super weird match-up? But you KNOW they met on one of those "cast parties". Whatevs.. if it works, it will be a miracle. I give Deanna and crazy break-dancer's brother (who I actually really did like, but just thought he was too young) a 10% chance. For that exact reason... if he was really young, so, is his TWIN brother... and Deanna? Just a little too much woman for him.
Did you see Kipton sitting next to the Jason Mesnick cast off? They didn't show her with him again (the girl with the crazy sideburns) so, it was probably just to create buzz... Ok, you sit here.. with him... and good... now we will get the shot... and scene.
And Molly and Jason. Ok Jason. I know I thought you were seriously scum of the earth for doing that. But I can honestly say now... I guess it was alright. I mean, you made up for it in the end. Do I feel bad you got called names? Naw. You probably deserved it for a while, but it's all good now, right? You and Molly can have babies that inherit her LARGE EYES that you love and all will be well. Happy days. Thanks for making the "Bachelor" a success... hahahaha.
Well, we all knew it was coming. I held out a very small hope he would choose... no one. I mean, I would have rather he chose Tenley IF he had chosen anyone, but if not, then NO ONE PLEASE.
It is the classic case: did you hear it? It was Deanna Pappasall over again. (ugh, she bugged me) Did you hear him explaining it to Tenley? I wish I would have kept the recording because I would quote it directly right now, but in essence it was this:
"I think I know what has gone wrong in all of my past relationships. I always go for the crazy passion and it never ends up working out. With you (speaking of Tenley) there is everything else. Values, same demeanor, same interests we are just so much alike in all those ways and it just works!
Okay, so, that was Jake trying to convince himself that Tenley was a good choice for him, which, he actually ended up talking himself out of because they don't have enough 'fire'. Or whatever, but did you hear it?? Did you hear him say that NONE OF THE OTHER RELATIONSHIPS HAVE WORKED OUT? That is because, a fire dies baby, and you gotta have something else to carry it on. Knowwadimean? I mean, not all fires die, but I think that thrill at some point dissipates, or goes away and may even come back at some point, but then you find yourself questioning why you did it!! You have to have MORE than that to back it up, and Jake. . . poor straight shootin' Jake, just couldn't get his brain out of his pants.
Did I just say that?
Sorry.
That wasn't very PG, but you know what I mean. Tenley even proved she had the spice several times (like they showed in the flashbacks) but because she wasn't a diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirty girl, he just looked right on past it.
Better luck next time Jake! Get ready for the "I told you so!"
In other news: Jake the dancing pilot??? Ok, I am game.
And interesting move by Kate Gosselin. I wonder if we will like her more? Or hate her more? I hope she gets Maks as a partner. That is BOUND to make some serious reality TV sparks with their hot tempers. SET YOUR TIVO!
My mouth is agape. Is that how you spell that? Basically, I am catching flies. The Bachelor went with new highs and new lows last night during last nights airing.. Did anyone else fast forward through most of the "Where are they now" segment? Because YAWN. I will tell you where they are now.. They are where they have ALWAYS been.. desperate and single.
When I saw Deanna, I was like... yep, there she is... still single, and she is gonna be for a . . . EVER! And who was excited to see Kipton. I WAS! He is so cute. But I tell you.. that was plumb boring. Thanks for giving back THE BACHELOR. (but we don't really care).
The truth is, they didn't have enough air time of girls ripping Jake apart to fill two hours.. and you wanna know why? Because of STRAIGHT SHOOTIN' JAKE. He never messed around and the girls had nothin' to say about it because he was always straight up.
But oh Michelle, could you see the crazy? Pushed down WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY deep? She had one chance to redeem herself and so she shoved that crazy down as far as she could go.. Too bad everyone COULD STILL SEE IT! Oh well.
And Ali, Aw. See?? I told you you should like Ali. She was snotty. She redeemed herself with Jake and THEN, she redeemed herself EVEN MORE last night. Now, that is a real, good, girl.. Someone who can admit to their mistakes and make a change... (MAN IN THE MIRROR!) Ok, sorry, MJ just popped into my head. But, she is obviously a mature person who can see when they look ugly and try to change.
THE CAGE MATCH: Seriously. No one is a match for Chris Harrison. No one. He is quick on his feet and knew exactly how to make Rozlyn look like a total and complete liar... even when she was attacking him personally. Wow. Seriously. I know I have professed my love for Chris Harrison SEVERAL times. Come on, you have to love him after singing "On the wings of Love" to Jake. Those outtakes are PRICELESS and I seriously wish instead of doing an hour of "The Bachelor gives back" I wish they would do a whole season of "BACHELOR OUTTAKES" or at least release them on DVD. I would buy.
In terms of our grand finale... I know what the spoiler is, and I am stickin' with my guns. I think it is WRONG. I don't think he chooses ANYONE! Did you see his response last night to Chris Harrison's favorite question? "Are you happy?" Is was a big sigh with not too much enthusiasm. . ."Yeah" Sorry Jake, but you are not a great actor and that WAS NOT CONVINCING. So, even if he DID pick you know who. (She who cannot be named) It seems like he may be having a bit of "buyer's remorse".
Until next week. . . . .
PS- I am having a GIVEAWAY! Please enter! FREE STUFF!
That is the distinct feeling that I get when watching the Bachelor with "no-messin' around" Jake. This man is alllllllllllllllllll businesss when it comes to dating his women... no re-ject returns either!
For all of you who just can't STAND the Bachelor and his choices, I think I need to remind you of how to manage expectations when watching the Bachelor.
Now, with that said let's talk about last nights episode which started with a date with Gia. To be honest, it was so stinkin' boring that I didn't even get through it. Jake had some good intentions with seeing if she could, "deal with the locals". What? Jake! Not a true test of her character! That girl has spent a LIFETIME shopping for her Boutins . . shopping does not equal . . true test of character!
Oh well, it seems like he sorted it all out anyway.
Tenley. It is soooooooooooooooo hard to say rotten things about Tenley because she is so sweet. I mean, sweet as stinkin' pie. But, that laugh.. Did anyone else get slightly un-nerved by that laugh as they were dancing? It was weird, uncomfortable and creepy. Tenley? Creepy? I know, it is a stretch, but the laughing was kinda creepy!
And Vienna. I swore I had nothing to say about Vienna.. except for: Eye shadow belongs on you EYE LID! Please! PUT IT ON YOUR EYE LID!!!!!
It finally made sense to me this morning when I was watching it (I am a lot quicker in the morning) Jake= awkward, sometimes socially rejected (come ON! You all rejected him!) man who doesn't always think too highly of himself. + Vienna= awkward, sometimes socially rejected woman who thinks too highly of herself = PERFECT REALITY SHOW COUPLE.
*I know that doesn't really add up right, especially with two = signs, but I was never good at math.
Come on, you saw it last night, and you KNOW it is true. They are meant for each other (that was for you Leah).
PS- Thanks for all of your submissions for MY BACHELOR, he is truly flattered and loves my "little bloggies" (true quote there). I hope something works out for him (and her, whoever she might be) and I hope I am invited to their wedding and they name their first child Lindsey. I mean, it is only fair! RIGHT??
I got some pretty impressive Bachlorettes BTW, and it makes me think, why can't it go both ways? Are there enough single men out there to e-mail me about my "Bachelorette?" Well, if so, please discuss.
PSS- How excited are you that ABC is going to throw Roslyn under the bus next week with additional footage?? Oh ME ME ME!!!
However, it seems like she really does 
